Ok, well since we are in R&S, I will say it is because I consider marriage to be a sacred and holy thing. I have been hearing the phrase "starter husband/wife" going around lately, and they are even getting ready to premier a show by that name, so it must be some kind of trend? I knew my first marriage was in trouble when I started thinking of my spouse as my "first" spouse. But if anyone had even thought of suggesting I should think of it as a "starter" marriage before it even started, I would have been appalled! I am not familiar with "Sex in the city", but have gotten the impression it originated there. Anyone is welcome to answer, but I would be especially interested to hear from single people under 30. What's up with that, young uns? Do you think that people are getting married too young, or for the wrong reasons? Are spouses disposable? Is there really any good reason for this to happen in this day and age, and what do you think contributes to it, is marriage dead?
2007-03-13 10:33:41 · 6 answers · asked by beatlefan 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Ludd: I left an abusive relationship, I am with number 2 for 17 years. When I entered the first one, I thought of it in terms of being the only one, not a starter one. The beginning of the end of the first one, was when I started thinking of it as the first marriage. What I am wondering, is if you go in to the marriage thinking about it in those terms, is it doomed from the start, if you have it in the back of your mind that you can always "trade up" is there a reason to keep trying, or even a reason to take your time to find the right one in the first place? It's not that I think it's immoral, but self defeating, like a spouse is disposable. As for the rest of your answer, I have days when I gotta agree with you!
Wolfeblade, Good for you....
C_W_F , You are quite right on that, but will thinking in terms of a starter spouse make it worse?
Juvsu, That's an interesting way of looking at it, can you tell how you think it would help young people make better choices?
2007-03-13 13:15:43 · update #1
*shrug* I don't agree with it either, but it's not my life, it's someone else's. They're not hurting anyone, so why stress over it?
2007-03-13 10:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people get married too young yes, and others get married without knowing the person, there are many reasons for that, some children are in tough family situations, and see marriage as an escape from thier family problems, so they elope hoping that this will free them from thier family's abuse. Some people take marriage a little too far, Ive heard people say things like you should stay with your husband/wife no matter what, but what if theyre abusive?
Sometimes religion can be a factor for divorce, like if a person is immersed into thier religion so deeply, that thier spouse comes second and the persons religion comes first.
2007-03-13 10:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think marriage is dead, but it's certainly becoming rarer and rarer to stay with one person for your entire life.
Age doesn't necessarily matter. My husband was 20 and I was 23 when we got married. We've been married for over 30 years now, and I attribute the longevity of the marriage to the fact that we both take our wedding vows to God and each other very seriously.
We've had some serious fights over the years, and there have been plenty of times when it would have been easy to call it quits. But we promised God and each other that we would stay married until death parts us, and we've honored that vow.
So from my perspective, a good part of the reason that marriages fall apart so easily is that people forget what they promised. . .and Who they promised it to.
2007-03-13 10:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So what you are saying is that you had a starter spouse, but your find it morally wrong that people admit that they are doing it?
By the way, the only way to dispose of a spouse is with a sack, a shovel and a deep hole.
2007-03-13 10:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think its just peoples way of convincing young people not to marry so early.
2007-03-13 10:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Dusie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope marriage is not dead, though parts of society in some countries is morally and spiritually dead, leading to immoral, sinful behavior, that will lead to shame and repentance in some, while others wallow in it like a badge of honor.
2007-03-13 10:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋