i need a laugh and im really bored
2007-03-13 10:23:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
Too Smart
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong!"
2007-03-13 10:36:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why is it a foul idea to play UNO with mexicans? because of very actuality they are going to continually scouse borrow your eco-friendly-playing cards. A Mexican and a Blackman are in a motorcar. who's using? A cop what's the version between a blackman and a bench? A bench can help a relatives individuals of four Why dosn't Mexico have an Olympic team? because of very actuality anybody that could want to run, leap and swim is already correct right here.
2016-12-01 23:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by meran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
2007-03-13 11:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by Write Brain 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a 300 pound woman walks into a drug store and approaches a teenaged boy stocking shelves. "Excuse me, young man, but could you tell me where the baby powder is?" The boy gets up and as he walks away says, "Certainly, Madame, walk this way." She says, "If I could walk that way I wouldn't need the baby powder."
2007-03-13 13:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by mrjones502003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elifino!!!
2007-03-13 10:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by Just J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mary gets her monthly bleeding for the first time and rushes to show Johnny coz she doesnt know wat it is. Johnny says' Im not a doctor but it looks like someone has ripped ur balls off!!!!'
2007-03-13 10:33:33 · answer #6 · answered by sleekseke 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
why do cows have bells?
....Cause their horns dont work
What did the buffalo say to his son as he was leaving for school?
....BISON.
Haha Im into corny jokes, so hope you enjoyed them.
2007-03-13 10:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by MeghanGene 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, you're bored?
What's that to do with us?
Is it our fault?
So, go for a run or something.
2007-03-13 10:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
lil_bbal…that was hularious. loved it!
2007-03-13 11:33:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋