Should I meet my parents though they were cruel to me?

Question

When I was 16, I went to a party, got drunk, joined some trouble makers my age and we broke several windows and graffited some walls. I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing, I had never been into a serious trouble before. But despite my apologies my parents gave me an extremely harsh punishment, for 6 months I was grounded from everything and had to clean walls houses, really worked as a janitor. I couldnt have any fun and even wear my nice cothes. That broke my sprit and I stopped loving my parents, couldnt expect theyd be so cruel and even got afraid of them. Anyway, I went to college, was a brilliant student, graduated in Biology. Today at 23 my life is good but I havent seen my parents for 5 years, they tried to contact me but I refused and anyway live far from them. This weekend it's my dad bday, there'l be a family meeting, my 2 siblings will be there and my parents realy pleaded that I come. But I can't forget what they did to me, I can't see them without getting sad, hurt

Whenever I see or talk with my parents those terible days come to my mind. These are my memories of them, all other memories were erased

Answer 1

Sorry, but I feel the punishment fit the action. They could have sent you to jail! What do you think you life in that six months would have been like in jail?? Meet them and get over it. Move on with your life. You did a very stupid thing. Whether or not you were aware of what you were doing is irrelevant. I hope you learned from the experience.

Answer 2

until you have your own child and that child does something like this, it is hard to understand why your parent's did this. This is called tough love. Your parent's would have been more upset if you had went to jail for a long time, they love you. This 6 months punishment is nothing compared to what juvenile jail could have been. I know it was a foolish mistake, but do not keep doing this to your parent's. They loved you enough to make it a punishment that you would not forget, this is so much better than what the law would have gave you. It is the parent's place to punish the child, let the child learn that foolish mistakes, can end up being very severe consequences. Be a adult , forgive and forget. You may not feel like that right now, but I guarantee when you have your own child, you will much rather be the one to determine the punishment for a foolish mistake, than let the law do it. My dear, you sound like a nice and smart person now, do not let this old foolish mistake and your punishment continue to ruin your life with family. The punishment must have taught you something, thank the parent's . Look what you have done, went to college and a brilliant student, think they are proud of you now? You bet they are. Keep the family together. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Seven years ago passed and what you did back then were mistakes that you made. And being 16, you were aware of what was right and wrong because your parents have taught you that, you just didn't apply that to your life. Your parents did what was best for you because they cared and love you. They wanted to teach you a lesson and it paid off!

You are now 23 with a good life, a brilliant student, a graduate, but one thing is still haunting you, and that is you have not forgiven your parents for they 'way they have grounded' you. You are still holding that grudge towards them when all this was your mistakes, not theirs. I really think that you still love your parents. You just don't know how to come to them and don't know how to forgive them. They were never cruel to you, they love you and did what was best for you. So, when are you going to let the past go and forgive your loving parents? When are you going to understand that they only did those things to help you and to be a responsible person. If they didn't do what they did, you probablly would still be that same partying girl, drinking with trouble making friends.

I really think that you owe your parents an apology, forgiveness, appreciation, and respect. Otherwise, you cannot go on with holding grudges and bitterness towards them, it will eat you up inside and that is not healthy at all. So, call your parents up and tell them you will visit them and your siblings too. I am sure they want to see their daughter once again.

Remember, the past is the past, but never forget your parents who raised you to become that responsible person that you are now. Thank them for that.

Answer 4

Go see them! I know it's hard after what they did to you when you were younger but you turned out ok and you are doing well for yourself. There are kids whose parents molested them, beat them up you just got a little harsh punishment. I understand to a younger person it seemed like going too far but imagine if they did nothing after you got in trouble. You could still be going down that wrong path to a hard life. Even though I say that I know how you feel though. I had a situation when I was exactly your age where my parents made bad financial decisions that effected me for a long time after they screwed up. I have never forgiven them but we still speak because I think of what I said above: there are kids who have had it much worst. You will always remember what they did to you as I will with my parents but at least speak to them you don't have to be right up under them all of the time but just show some interest.

Answer 5

expensive Carmelia, I understand your emotions, and that i additionally comprehend which you had no say so or decision in the problem. Please do no longer beat your self up over what's already completed. particular, declawing is a merciless and torturous element to do to a cat, and only using fact the cat lives indoors would not make it ok. one element you won't be attentive to is that cat declawing is a prepare regularly constrained to u . s . a . of america and Canada. this is something that some human beings do for their very own convenience. in actuality, many of the persons who do it (alongside with your mothers and dads, i'm optimistic) are properly which potential cat proprietors who in no way comprehend what a torturous ordeal they are putting their loving cat by using, or that the cat would in no way get well completely from the actual and emotional trauma of a declawing technique. in lots of ecu worldwide places cat declawing is termed "inhumane" and "pointless mutilation”, and is against the regulation. I wholeheartedly agree. i'm sorry yet i should be honest with you so as that possibly somebody else who's at the instant thinking declawing might examine this and spare their cat the soreness. Like I mentioned however - the declawing of your cats become no longer your fault, and you ought to enable go of the guilt. that's a ineffective emotion. in case you choose to create some offsetting good karma, possibly you ought to donate or volunteer on your community rescue company or cat look after? They continuously choose help, and donations of each little thing from toys to nutrition. i will tell out of your letter how very plenty you like cats and which you have a great heart. So particularly of residing on the previous, positioned that good potential into making constructive waves sooner or later. Hugs, Raven, The Cat lady

Answer 6

Your parents were not cruel yes 6mo is a harsh punishment but not cruel, cruel would've been if they beat you and told you they were through and kicked you out a 16 with nothing that is cruel they were scared and did not want you to throw the potentiel you obviously have, maybe you should speak with someone who has had actual cruel parents and you would see they love you but yes you should go see them they wont be here forever and then you will regret to much when its to late to do anything about it

Answer 7

Grow up! They didn't beat you or starve you or lock you in attic like a prisoner. They grounded you and it sounds (judging by your success) they taught you to value what you have and treat others property with respect. You deserved a few months in jail for your vandalism your parents could have refused to let you come home and sent you to jail or a group home but they did not. They loved you enough to show you that what you did was wrong and disrespectful it's time to let it go and thank them for teaching you such a valuable lesson

Answer 8

Imagine the trouble you could have gotten in if they had not intercepted at the time. You have done great for yourself now do something better for yourself, go see your parents maybe now that you are older you can sit down and let them know how you feel. If you did not still love your parents you would not have posted this question My kids are still young and I would die if they wanted nothing to do with me.. Please try and fix this.

Answer 9

obviously you need to talk about this to your parents and sort things out! it seems to me that u hadnt been punished before this and it came as a shock to you at the time! wen i was younger i was grounded for a long period of time and since then i hav made a few bad choises in life but my parents have always been there for me !your parents just did what they thought was right at the time!and tried to prevent it from happening again (which obviously worked)so just tlk it out and try and resolve your feelings towards them!

Answer 10

Go see your parents. I'm sure it won't be easy but it sounds like they love you and really want to see you. I think you were just in a bad situation back then and maybe their punishment was too harsh. Try to resolve it. Think of how you'd feel if you never saw them and one or both of them passed away.