My problem is that i like one of my female friends that i met about 9 months ago. It hasent been a long time, but over the past few months we have become extremly close. We talk on the phone about 3 times a day for hours and we do everything together from shopping to bowling, movies etc. I told her about 2 months ago that i liked her and she stated that she didnt know how to react. Things got bad for about 3 days but they quickly returned back to normal. The weird thing is that we started hanging out more and talking on the phone more. A few days ago she told me that if we ever went out she knows that it would most definately work out. The problem is that she still has feelings for her ex even though they have been separeted for over a year cuz they didnt break up on bad terms. According to her they simply didnt have time for each other. She tells me that the only thing keeping us from hooking up is her feelings for him. Having knowledge like this is driving me crazy. What should i do?
2007-03-13 09:51:10 · 12 answers · asked by King311 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Remain her friend for now. Take my advice, never get involved with someone who has feelings for another. Think about the possible outcomes:
1. She dates you for a bit but constantly fawns over her ex, making you feel inadequate.
2. She dates you but starts secretly conversing with her ex, keeping you as a back up in case it doesn't work out with him. Either way, your left feeling like a second-class citizen.
3. She dates you, doesn't mention her ex, but you constantly feel she is. You'll still come out of it feeling like you couldn't compare.
In any of these scenarios, your friendship will be effected. Wait it out and see how their relationship plays out. You never know, she might realize that they weren't meant for each other and come to the one who has been consistent the whole time...you. Good luck. :)
2007-03-13 09:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not to sure about this situation, it's tricky....i know how your friend feels by still having feelings for her ex. i think she should just move on, but if she really still likes her ex, then you don't want to be her re-bound. But if you really her like, you should just have a serious conversation about how you guys feel about each other. I know it's ganna be weird for a couple of days, because the same thing happened to me, but things will get back to normal in no time. If you think she's worth waiting for then wait for her.
2007-03-13 16:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lola526 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you definitely can't fight such opponent. Not that you are not able, it is just that your girlfriend decided to protect herself from another break up in a somewhat childish manner (hiding behind faded feelings). It depends how much time you have, because it might take a life time waiting for her to grow up in emotional way and to accept real life...
2007-03-13 16:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let things happen naturally. Don't open up your heart to a woman who tells you that she has feelings for another man. You are worth more than that. Still be friends with her, but guard your heart. What's to be will be.
2007-03-13 16:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been in that b4... what i did is i just waited on her because eventually that will show her that you will be there for her no matter what (especially with her still liking her ex a lil bit) because honestly if you can stay true to her through that then you can stand with her through just about anything
2007-03-13 16:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by bodaciousfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't be that lil puppy waiting for her. Cuz if she can't get over her ex.. then you should just meet someone else. Then she will want you and it will be too late. Be smart and remember ur feelings too...
2007-03-13 16:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her its her EX. he prolly dnt even kno have any feeling 4 her any more. & if she thinks u guys 'ill do great, then try it out! not doin anything wn't get u both any where. or u 2 can just be very close like u r now, & it'll just be like goin out!! tht mite be dumb tho. haha!
2007-03-13 16:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep her as a friend, but until she gets over her own issues, don't expect anything more.
2007-03-13 16:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel..i think you should tell her how you feel. if she trustss you and tlks to you A LOT!! then she probably hbas SOMe feelings for you...just tell her, like when you two are bowling or sumthing...good luck! =P
2007-03-13 17:05:23 · answer #9 · answered by Ave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I READ THE WHOLE STORY AND I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD PLAY IT COOL,BE SUPPORTAVE FOR HER AND RESPECT THAT SHE HAS FELLINGS FOR HER EX,JUST TELL HER YOU DO HAVE FELLINGS FOR HER,AND LEAVE IT AT THAT ,THE MORE YOU RUSH IT,THE MORE IT WONT WORK!GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-13 16:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋