How do I stop my 2 year old from throwing tantrums in public?

Question

Aside from beating him (which doesn't work, and i hate to do) how do i stop him. He used to be an angel, people would always praise him when we went out, now the past 2 months he's been acting like a terror. We can't take him out without being embarassed. Please don't tell me it's a phase, I need a pill or something, either for him or me!!!!!!

Answer 1

He is 2 yrs old-wanting to be more independant. Don't spank him for it-there are three things you could try:
1) Make sure you let him get his nap. Please try really hard NOT to go out in public at the time, or near to, his nap time. So he can be relaxed, and get that sleep he needs.
2) Let him know what you are going to do, go to the store, get a few groceries, and head home. Maybe a treat for him-a trip to McDonald's or something afterwards. Let him know ahead of time, when you turn the moter off in your car, that you and he are going into the store, get a few groceries, and you would greatly appreciate him cooperating. No temper tantrum, or he will be ignored during that tantrum. (stay near by and watch to make sure no one, and nothing gets hurt). If he does a really good job of cooperating, reward him, and definitely praise him for a job well done! Maybe let him help pick some things out on the shelves, (his height of course).
3) Make sure both of you have full tummies, and are well rested before going out in public.
I hope this helps you I wish the two of you the best. Take care..

Answer 2

The best thing you can to do in public is leave, have a time out in the car and talk about it (don't over talk) asking why helps with our son, he calms down and we explain in two year old language why he is not allowed or why he is trouble. It helps. This is what they call the terrible twos... he will test you alot and you have to be constant. At home ignoring or not acknowledging him in his fits should help reduce them at least because he is not getting attention(neg attention is just as good to them as positive). also taking toys away and time outs work wonders. Just remember that you have to do as you say you will do EVERY time. Stay calm and assertive... be the authority figure! Spanking should be a last resort if nothing else is working.. I found that spanking my son was in a way letting him off "easy" and they were no longer effective.. he was more concerned about his toys and other privileges being taken away then getting a pop on the butt! And no hun it isn't a phase.. they throw fits even as teens... it just doesn't look the same!

Answer 3

Thing one: accept that your son is not perfect and that you are not a perfect parent, and THAT'S OKAY.

Kids just sometimes lose it. It shouldn't embarrass you when it happens, it's part of being a parent. You need to understand that everyone who has ever been involved in raising kids understands, and that the people who have never raised kids can't understand, and stop worrying about what people will think.

Thing two: kids are most prone to tantrums when they are tired, hungry, or not feeling well. Study your child's nap patterns, and try to see where the tantrums fall in relation to the pattern. What I found out about my daughter was that the probability of a tantrum increased as we approached naptime, to the extent that if we were out shopping or something when naptime came around, we could virtually count on something setting off a tantrum. Solution: work VERY hard to make sure that we weren't in public when naptime approached, and if she had a tantrum at home just before naptime, understanding that she wasn't being bad, she was just very tired and miserable and didn't know how to deal with that any other way.

Thing three: learn what reasonable expectations are for a child the age of your child. You can learn this from reading books about child development, from attending classes in child behavior, joining parenting groups to pool observations, and by talking to your pediatrician and maybe getting a referal from the pediatrician to a group. The more you know about what's normal, the more you will be able to forgive yourself and your child for what are very normal behaviors in a small child, and the better you will do at getting past these behaviors.

You have to get over fear of being embarassed or fear that your child isn't a perfect little angel. Embarassments of all sorts are par for the course when children are little; the payback is that you get to embarass them when they become teenagers! ;-))

And know that some of the things that are mortifying now will be funny memories in the future. When my daughter was four, she had a meltdown at Sea World in front of several hundred strangers. She wanted to eat at the Budweiser Hospitality Center because she liked their hotdogs; we wanted to eat at Shipwreck Rapids. Daughter started screaming as loud as her little leather lungs could go, "I don't want this food! I want BUDWEISER!!!"

We knew what she meant, but oh boy, some of the looks we got from people observing an angelic-looking little tot screaming, apparently, for beer.

(Daughter is 14 now, an honors student and the greatest kid on earth, and she loves to tell this story to her friends.)

Answer 4

I have a set of boy girl 25 month old twins. I remember the worst was in Fry's in the double steering wheel kid carts they have, they got into an all out knock down drag out fist fight. Sure, all the older people got a chuckle, but I was MORTIFIED. Was not the first meltdown, either, but it was the LAST. This is what has worked since then. I started telling them *you have to____, please* which at first never worked of course. Step two, if you dont_______we are leaving right now. The first three times, we left, twice with a full cart, and once right after paying seven dollars to get into the zoo. Yes, it sucked, yes, a waste of time, and for the zoo, money. But they figured it out, I meant business, and if they wanted to be there, or even come with, then behave they must. now they know, and usual all I have to do is ask if they want to just go, and its no mamma i'm done. Best of luck! I feel your pain times two.

Answer 5

I dont know if this is the "right" way but it seems to work with my son who is also 2. When he starts acting up we tell him that if he doesnt stop he is going to get a spanking.. Sometimes just a warning is enough usually not though. When it goes past the warning either my husband or I remove him from the situation to the car or bathroom somewhere not quite as public and he gets a pop on the butt. its usually more effective when my husband does it.. I think I must be a soft touch.

Answer 6

My children knew from the get-go that the mortal sin in life was to embarrass your Mama in public! They knew if they misbehaved, the next time I went out, they would stay home with their Dad. Yeah, I was going to be inconvenienced a bit, by having to wait till husband got home, but I got my point across. Never had to follow through. My kids enjoyed going out with Mama. I also remembered THEIR Limit. The stores have gotten so much bigger since my guys were small. Remember that they get tired after being dragged around for hours. Their little legs go to sleep dangling from the shopping carts. Make your trips out, shorter. Make sure you keep to a schedule. Make him understand that if he gets fussy in the store, there will be "nap time" when you get home. I have a hard time identifying with this terrible two thing. Neither of my sons ever went through that.

Answer 7

When my two year old does this I give him a warning. For example "Either walk with mommy or you will get in the cart" He will walk with me because he hates to ride in the cart. If it is a tantrum because he wants something I tell him there is no way that he will get that particular item acting like that. And that is he is a good boy he might get it. (Depending on what it is though) I use this one rarely because if I don't get it I feel like I lied to him and if I do get it I feel like I caved. Also asking him if he wants to leave usually helps. Give a choice, something you know that he would HATE to do and then something you want him to do. It has done great for me when I have no other options. Good luck!

Answer 8

What starts these tantrums? Is it because you are telling him "no". Sorry to say, it's a phase and for the next 16 years, he will be going through more of them. You need to remain constant with whatever discipline measure you do. He needs to know what to expect from you. Kids love consistancy. Good luck.

Answer 9

It's hard, I hated going anywhere with my daughter for a while. Just try taking him out when he's rested, well fed, and make your outings brief. Be patient, he'll grow out of it.


In the meantime, shop across town so you don't run into anyone you know while your kiddo is having a fit. LOL

Answer 10

My son just turned 2 yrs old on Sunday and he started to throw tantrums in public, a simple time out works for me. I just get in his face and tell him to sit down for 2 minutes, and don't move. Of coarse he cries but it works for me after a while he calms down. Sometimes you can't show your kids to much attention because they learn to take advantage.