I am twenty one years old. My usual time I get in from going out on the weekends is before 2 am. I often go out with friends or my boyfriend. I am carful when drinking not to drive, and I don't have sexual intercourse. I am also in college and I work too. How can I get them to trust me and stop harrassing me? Am I really doing something wrong?
2007-03-13 09:43:26 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
nope. but if you live with your parents they can choose to care about when you come home. my rule is that if I can get 6 hours of sleep and be up and rested and not hungover for work then i am being responsible. it's not out of the ordinary for people our age, but conservative younger and older generations live differently.,
2007-03-13 09:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my eyes you are just a typical 21 year old woman. I think you should just sit them down and tell them your views on this. If you want to score brownie points with them then start coming home earlier or spend extra time with them. I don't think there is anything wrong about going out and having a good time. My curfew was 2 in the morning when I was 16. They are probably just worried about your well-being. I probably would be too if I had a daughter. You are grown, though. That's something they need to accept. As long as it isn't affecting your work or college life and you are still being responsible then I don't see why they have a problem with it. Just talk to them about it like adults and try to resolve the matter.
2007-03-13 09:50:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with other posts here. It's not a question of whether they have a right to control your life. Frankly, that's the immature, teenage way of approaching the issue. Rather, we have to ask whether they should be giving you advice or not. If they honestly believe that you are putting yourself in some danger, then they HAVE to tell you this. That's what happens among people who care about each other. Hopefully they will be rational about it and will be willing to discuss their opinions (and yours) with you. Why not take the initiative, sit them down, and explain to them why you feel they have miscalculated the risk of your staying out late? But if you do, be sure to listen as well as speak.
Ultimately, if you are living with others, it doesn't matter how old you are; you have to abide by a set of common rules. e.g. What would you say if your mother came into the house at 2 am? You might be ok with that, you might not be. But the fact that your mother ISN'T, and that you are living with her, is enough of a reason to make sure that YOU are not out that late.
Hope that helps.
2007-03-13 09:55:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know I currently have a brother who does the same thing goes out parties, spends his work money going out to eat and drinking etc. But he never helps around the house or spends time with the famiily. Me as the younger sister has to do most of the worrying for my parents and helping them pay bills, worry about their health, take care of my brothers troubles and sometimes bills, not to mention getting him out of trouble when he calls at 1:00 in the morning cause he's in jail , or has had an accident. I am 20 yrs old and I have never done what you have just mentioned, I guess I'm more mature. I would love to do that but I have so many responsibilities I can't afford to party all the time. Plus I have 2 jobs and school.
I understand teenage years and stuff but you have to think about others around you too. you may be putting your sister in a bad position, having to hear your mom bad mouth you all the time saying " oh your sister is out again with those no good friends" Then your sister has that image of you too. I don't know how much you go out, but if it really bothers you, and you live at home I would consider moving out. That way you CAN do what you want and your mom at least can't see how late your coming in or if you go out. That's what my brother finally did and it was much better. We didnt have his friends coming over all night long waking us, we didnt have to keep calling to make sure he was alright, we didnt have to wake up int he middle of the night to make sure he locked the door when he got in. Just think about others not just the partying. This is from my personal experience with a partier. I so wish he would grow up and think about others not just himself. Remember you are not an adult yet, an adult would be considerate of others and would respect their family and the rules for the house, roof she lives under.
2007-03-13 09:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you are missing is (and I dont know your family but you sound responsible ) they probably are worrying more about other crazy people who arent careful not to drink and drive.
Also working and staying out til 2 if rough on ya...but hell you are twenty...believe it or not you will grow out of it..trust me I know. I partied hard from 18 to about 22 and I certainly wasnt home by 2 more like 5 or 6 am then one day I didnt need to anymore.
Remember though its always the innocent one that gets hurt when they get hit by that drunk driver. Dont be so hard on your family they just love you.
2007-03-13 09:51:45 · answer #5 · answered by michelle H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I second what the person above me said. At 21 you are an adult...do you live at home? If you do than I guess you have to be conscious of your mother's rules in regards to what time coming home, but I think if you sat down and explained what you wrote down just now, she might be more understanding. Your sister, however, should not be saying anything. She is not your parent and she has no right to tell you what time you should come home.
Just tell your mother that you have never given her a reason not to trust you.
Good luck!
2007-03-13 09:55:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though they are worried about you. Its not really a matter of right or wrong, it is more about what is best for you. So make a deal with them, that if at any time your grades start slipping, you will stop going out for a set period of time. Trust is built over time and you have to show them that you are capable of doing this on you own. In time, as long as you remain responsible, they will stop bothering you about it.
2007-03-13 09:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, when living with a parent in their home, you are pretty much obligated to follow their rules. I think the only way to resolve this would be to get your own place. You mention that you are a student, and that you work. Perhaps you can look into student housing and get a couple of friends to split the rent with you.
2007-03-13 09:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
like my granny told me there is nothing happening early in the AM. the only thing open that late are clubs and legs. as long as your OK with your actions and no one is getting hurt live up to your own moral compass. your people may not under stand but they are not living your life. be honest and true with your self in a couple of years when your out of school it won't even matter
2007-03-13 10:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by TBONE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol sounds like me. Except I have a girlfriend. Although, I am 20, dont drink and drive, and am in college also.
As long as you are under your their roof they will pick on you. I get it all the time from my younger brother and mother. It's a family thing, they love you and care about you.
2007-03-13 09:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋