When Family Cannot See EYE 2 EYE!???

Question

I know that everyone is different, and I am not here to judge... But when family does not see eye to eye or actually they do not have interest in "common ground"... how do you tactfully tell them that "it just isn't working for me???"

Have you ever had to "divorce" yourself from your family?

Oh, and I do not mean husband & wife... I mean parents/siblings - extended family...

more info: negitivity... I cannot stand it! And yet, it's all I see & deal with when it comes to my Mother & Brother. They lie... say hurtful things to my children... And it never ends no matter how hard we try! - I want to say to them - Bye! See Ya! - and send them a Xmas card once a year... How's that for more info?

I am very much of age to do as I please. My kids are teenagers & I am divorced. I have lived in a house my mother owns (not with her) since I divorced. I pay her a nice chunk of change so there is no free ride. I feel used, as my brother also utiilized some of her property but doesn't pay her. They both are negitive people who dictate, are generous, and then take away - I just want to distance myself as I am not like them & do not wish to raise my boys around this type behavior! I know it isn't an easy thing to do, but I will have to do what is in my best interest! Thank you for letting me know I do not walk alone in this...

Answer 1

Oh yes, i'm happily divorced or is that Banished from mine.......Well truthfully, you dont have to tell them anything, just start very slowly backing away, getting a little bit of distance can work wonders, perhaps limit your kids to only meeting granny 'outside' of the house, most people behave better when they are in public, you can quite easily do this without any confrontation, get an answerphone and screen your calls, so you can avoid contact or at least be in control of that contact, just make yourself less available, not only will you get more quality time for you and your kids, but you'll feel less stressed too, i do hope this helps, im a great believer in telling it how it is, but with some people there isn't much point, so you might as well back away, maybe they will realise that they see less of you, and then make more effort for the odd times that they do....I wish you much luck xxx

Answer 2

do you think that you and your family can even hash this out? it seems to me you just need to get out for awhile, stay with friends or other family and get a grip on what is happening to you vs what your family is going thru. you did not mention your age, if they are only trying to help guide you and you are not up to their help you need to know that there should be time for you to grow and now is the best time to listen to them. if you are old enough to leave then you should. but not on an arguement. time is a healer you need to strenghten your beliefs to be able to accomodate another's. visit only for a little while, when it gets tense leave. or if you really have to live with them try to require some boundries and make sure you have a safe place to go when you feel threatened or confused. counseling is really good if you can get the family to go. group thereapy can really clear the air and a counselor can be the median to make sure feelings to get too out of hand. point is try, don't just run. family will be there forever if you let it.

Answer 3

I think that every family unit needs to have a rule: that "it's OK to agree to disagree", my family and close friends and I do this my sister and I are really total opposites and rarely agree about anything but we agreed along time ago that we were always gonna be sisters and we come to the realization that we could accept those differences in each other and still love each other

Answer 4

I'm doing that right now with extended family. Relief I tell you.

Answer 5

if they are negative and you allow your kids to linger around garbage, then you will create another generation of messed up adults. you may have to limit your visitation for the sake of you children and your sanity.

Answer 6

Not enough information.