Family problem, please give advice?
My Aunt, Uncle and their two children never seem to have time to join the rest of the family in certain events, say oh like..birthday parties. They missed my wifes because of Tae Kwon Do class, they missed my Aunts because of a movie at a church. They are missing mine because of Tae Kwon do Class. And they are going to miss my Grandfather and my sons because of Tae Kwon do testing.
YES My Uncle has Money and his own business, He has done LOTS FOR ME. He has given me a job. He gave me $1000 one christmas, and My Aunt told me I shouldn't be complaining because I know that If I was ever in a bind they would be there for me in a heartbeat.
Am I asking too much, for them to participate in FAMILY celebrations??
Who is wrong here???
My mom is so angry with them she was crying on the phone today
HELP
2007-03-13 09:13:43 · 10 answers · asked by brian_d_long2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Is it possible to look at this from his point of view? Why does your family keep scheduling events when you know they have Tae Kwon Do at that time? It's got to be a bit frustrating on his end too.
If all you want to do is lay blame then you're going to think he's wrong and he's going to think you are. If you want to get your uncle's family to family events then the whole family is going to have to be involved in scheduling them. Which means call them *before* you set the time and day.
2007-03-13 14:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They seem to lead a busy lifestyle. Why not ask them what days near these events that they might have open. And schedule the celebrations accordingly. Has anyone supported them in their interest? Like go to the championship Tae Kwon Do stuff, or anything? So, it sounds like your asking them to support you, but your not showing any interest in what they have going on. Whats wrong with going to the Tae Kwan Do....and then go out .....or schedule it around their needs. If you want them there that bad...thats what you should do.
2007-03-13 16:20:38 · answer #2 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brian -
I am sorry about your family. Sounds like your Uncle and his family dont know what its like to be family. Unfortunately, the day is going to come when they realize that time with family is more important than Tae Kwon Do and other activities.
Dont take this personally........I am sure it has nothing to do with you. These days people have the misconception that
the more you do.......the better a person you are.
Remember while you are sad......this is their loss. They are missing out on all these GREAT family times.
I say.....take lots of pictures and put them in photo albums
that way you can show them all the fun they are missing and
HOPEFULLY they will come around and see that time with family is whats important. Being there when you are in a bind...... that is what families do.....that has NOTHING to do with spending GOOD QUALITY family time.
So to answer your question, in my opinion, YOU ARE CORRECT and they are wrong.
Stop inviting them to family functions........one day they will ask you why and you can say.......whats the point you never have time to spend with us.....
IT works.........we have family reunions every year and people who "couldn't make it" the first 2 years dont get invited anymore and trust me.......they are all over wanting to be there now.
Sorry for you, your wife, your mom and anybody else who is sad because of this.
2007-03-13 16:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not wrong to want your family present for events and I know first hand how much it hurts for them not to show up. Both of my parents have four brothers and sisters and I had one out of the eight show up to my wedding!
Call you aunt and uncle and let them know how much it would mean to have them there and see if there's a time that works better for them so you can work it into everyone's schedule. In the meantime, try to let it go - they're the ones that will end up regrets all they've missed out on.
2007-03-13 16:22:01 · answer #4 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think this is YOUR fault! Some people truly are not into socializing with family... And there maybe a certain members of your family that do not get along. This is the best recourse for them - not to be in the same room together! There can be 100 reasons why, and you may never know!
Let it go... As they stated, they are there for you! Be greatful you have that much...
2007-03-13 16:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see 2 sides to this.a guy that is busy and wants to be involved with his family.another guy wants ALL of his family to be together.
your uncle might be busy but that doesn't justify not paying attention to his other family members. he could come around for somethings. just remind him that you don't know what you are missing until you don't have it anymore.
2007-03-13 16:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by gamer girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like they value there family, and make time for there children. I don't see a problem.
2007-03-13 16:19:27 · answer #7 · answered by maxexposure2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you can let him know how you feel. People sometimes are not good with noticing their flaws. So open his eyes and tell him you NEED him to be there
2007-03-13 16:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by NicOOd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the guy a break he is being involved with his kids which is a good thing.
2007-03-13 16:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are busy people you need to deal with it!
2007-03-13 16:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋