My girlfriend has a drinking problem, what do I do?

Question

We've been dating since December and moved in together last weekend. I just realized that she has a bit of a drinking problem. She drinks wine gallons at a time and is usually drunk a few days out of the week. I've voiced my concerns and asked what was wrong. She says that going to poker night with me has reignited her drinking problem she used to have. She uses wine to deal with stress. She has a new job, a new boyfriend and now a new apartment and it's causing her to relapse and drink excessively. I really like this girl, I thought she was "the one" until I found this hidden truth. What can I do to help her short of moving out and ending the relationship?? She has a good job in the medical field, she comes from a good family, and the sex is great (when she's sober). I can't live with the slurred talking and staggering around the house every other day...it's getting old.

Ok, I need to add that I rarely drink. I drink Pepsi at poker night. My parents were alcoholics and I know what that is like. I just care about her and want her to get her life back on track. I am her new boyfriend. She was married to a man who used to try to get her drunk because he thought it was funny how she acted drunk. She was really depressed in that relationship and tried to commit suicide during it. She went to rehab and got better, I've brought it up that she might want to consider it again. She doesn't want to do that. She thinks she can go cold turkey. I called her today, and can tell that she's already drunk. I just wanted help before I go home tonight and feel annoyed by her drunk antics. I don't want her to get as bad as she was before she met me.

I am in love with the girl's other personality...the sober girl...not this drunk girl who keeps popping up on a weekly basis.

Answer 1

IF YOU REALY FEEL FOR THIS GIRL MEANING LOVE. then stay by her side. put your self in her predictument. she needs some support don't judge her tell her you love her and your there for her and your pray for her. also you can get some help for her. most people end up breaking up because theres not an support sytem in the relationship. try it ti will help.

Answer 2

I think you should tell her just like you just did to the world. tell her that you thought she was the one to live the rest of your days with, but because of her drinking that has put a damper on your feelings. tell her you care and want her to stop, and if she can't , then get some help. try to be understanding but be firm with what you want from a relationship. give her the choice to either stop drinking and keep the relationship, or keep drinking and lose you.. simple as that.. I know, not so simple is it? but sometimes things in life are not always easy. good luck! hope it works out for ya both.

Answer 3

Unfortionattly when it comes to drinking problems there is not much you can do to help somebody, especally if they do not want help. Save yourself, don't get caught up in a co-addiction. Get some information on co-addiction. Read about how it works and some of the problems people face in such relationships. Maybe the best advice is that which you don't want to hear; End the relationship, move out.

Answer 4

This is a really hard subject - but my mother is an alcoholic and my advice for you is to really talk to her and maybe talk to her family as well. Most alcoholics know they are alcoholics, and just wait until they self destruct or some one really pushes them to recover. Do not drink with her obviously, but maybe try picking up a hobby with her or something else that could relieve stress, if you really love her then you will help her and not bail because if you bail on her its just going to be worse.

Answer 5

lay it on the line. Either control your drinking, get help for it if necessary or you are gone,. if she loves you, she will do it and if she does not, you are better off. You deserve better and I have a friend whose wife was a drunk and he basically raised the daughter they had because his wife was always out of it, he had a very unhappy life and when the daughter was 18, they both moved on but he gave up so much of his life. Don't put yourself in that situation.

Answer 6

Give up poker night, don't drink around her and draw the line in the sand;

Drunk and alone or sober and with me.

And mean it.

Answer 7

I would keep in mind what you want and that drinking can be a very serious problem. When someone has a drinking plroblem it becomes part of thier life and you can't expect them to change overnight. She might not ever change keep in mind that's what's being brought into your life.

Answer 8

You must talk to her about it! you now live with this person and share the same space, you have a right to be happy and if this drinking problem is something that will drive you apart then you must tackle it straight on. there is no need to be aggressive about it, but direct and to the point.

Answer 9

tell her that you've got a new project and it involves making an at home video. Then when she's good and drunk as a skunk "interview" her, after she sobers up tell her you'd like to show her your project and that should SHOCK her into reality.

Answer 10

You can help her by not leaving.

If you really like her help her, don't just bail because you cant cope. GOD what a pussy you are....

You probably don't realize that she will most likely tear her self apart if you left one bottle at a time.

Start by not allowing her to go to bars/parties/poker night as often. Watch how much she drinks and limit it. Or make her drinks really really lean on the alc so she spends more time int he bathroom and less on the floor.