What is the correct etiquette when it comes to wedding invitations?

Question

My Father is the one paying. He has long since divorced my mother and she isn't paying at all. Just him. What is the correct way to have him on the invitation? Mr. so and so requests your presence ? Or do I put both him and my mother?

Answer 1

To avoid anything nasty, and not give your mom any undue credit, try this wording or a variation of it:

"The pleasure of your company is requested at the wedding ceremony of...."

Why mention anyone at all? I didn't for my wedding, and no one thought it was weird. If you just mentioned your father, wouldn't your spouse-to-be's parents feel left out?

It's YOUR wedding, so you and your fiance are the only names that need to be on the invite. You don't need to make mention of anyone else, unless it's the person the RSVPs should be sent to.

Answer 2

Where is everyone ordering invitations? I always see these etiquette questions. If you are going to a print shop the people there know what to do. They have seen it all and have examples for all different combinations. The invitations ordered from websites do not cost any less than going to a competent shop in town and you'll have a lot more recourse if something goes wrong when you can stop into the shop. Your parents should be listed on the invitation. The only time this might change is if you and your fiance are hosting the party. Just because Mom isn't paying doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a spot on the invite. If you are putting one name you should put them all.

Answer 3

You could combine traditional wording to say something like this which still recognizes your mother and your father as the host:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride Middle
daughter of Mr. Bride's Father
and Ms. Bride's Mother
to
Mr. Groom Middle Last
son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents
Day, the date of Month
Year
Time
Location Name
Address
City, State

Mr. Bride's Father

Answer 4

The guests really have no business knowing the financing behind the wedding, so leaving your mother off altogether would be bad. Obviously you aren't going to want to say Mr & Mrs John Doe.. I would leave it as Mr John Doe & Mrs Helen Doe (or whatever name she is using now).

I think I'd go with a less formal invitation and leave the so & so requests off... just have you are cordially invited to the wedding of Jane daughter of Mr John Doe & Mrs Helen Doe and Jack son of Mr & Mrs Harold Roe...

Good luck with your wedding!

Answer 5

The name on the invitation does not reflect who is paying, which is a common misperception. Unless you want your invitation to scream "My mother has nothing to do with my wedding or with me!" (because how people will read it), then you need to include her. Try this:

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. (or Ms.) Jane Williams

His name does go first. And even if she has kept your dad's last name, list them separately like I did above, otherwise it appears like they're still married. So, say "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith" instead of "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."

Answer 6

I actually just found this out while picking my own invites:

The invitation is to the wedding, not the reception. As in, the church or ceremony. The "I do"-'sThe bride's parents are the ones "hosting" the actual wedding ceremony. They are "giving away" the bride. So it should be both of their names presenting their daughter to their future son-in-law regardless of financial or any other situation.

Of course, you don't have to go with "etiquette" or even tradition. We didn't, as we had his parents' names on there, too. (Apparently, that's wrong because the groom is the one accepting the "gift" of the bride, and his parents don't have anything to do with that...)

Answer 7

It depends on whether you want them on there. If you want both of them, you say
Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith cordially invite you (if they are divorced and mom still have the same last name)
or
Janet Smith, daugther of Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith

Check out wedding invitation etiquette on www.theknot.com. Best Wishes.

Answer 8

The names you put on the wedding invitation have NOTHING to do with who is paying for what. You and your man SHOULD be paying for the whole wedding; what's up with that?
You can use the traditional invitation setup, except put -
Jane Doe,
daughter of Jack Doe and Helen Black..... etc.

OR just put: The families of
(your names)
request the honour of your presence...

Answer 9

Even thought he is just paying and your mom isn't playing a part at all, she's still your mom. She's going to be there right? Or are you not close to your mom? If you are close to her then just put Mr. So and So and Ms. Maiden Name invite....bla bla bla. Good luck.

Answer 10

I am not listing anyone parents but i am paying for me own wedding. I suggested talking to your dad about it first so there is no bad or hurt feelings about both names being on there.