I am feeling a little down today. I just found out that my soon to be Ex husband (been separated for a year and divorce is in process)is engaged to some other girl now. I don’t have any feelings or anger towards my ex, but, I don’t know why I feel down just by hearing this news….
This was my “2nd” arrange marriage. My first husband was a complete psycho. He was very possessive and controlling and it was just unbearable to continue living with him. With my parents support – I left him when I was expecting my daughter. This 2nd marriage was, from the start just horrible. It was an arrange marriage too. I fell into complete depression and gained about 20-25lbs, my hair has also thinned out; I just don’t look lively as I did before I was married. He used me to obtain a green card – as soon as I figured out his motive, I cancelled everything. I am trying my best to shape up and look prettier, I just am so tired and feel drained all the time. Plus, I live alone – so I have bills flying everywhere. I work as an accountant, and go to school fulltime(doing poor in school at the moment, coz I just don’t have the energy to study at times). I have been online dating this person for sometime, but, YOU KNOW!! Online loves can be tricky and dishonest. Anywayz – I found out my ex is engaged, I am honestly NOT jealous…but, I just don’t understand, why I feel soo confused hearing this or down….Please HELP EVERYONE
2007-03-13 08:55:26 · 13 answers · asked by fairytale_chic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh yeah - i am 28 yrs old
2007-03-13 08:55:44 · update #1
Asshole, I don't know why women end up with these and why decent men like myself don't seem to be their type, and how wer always find the wrong girls since no one else is interested... Nexd time make sure he LOVES you with all of youre heart and is willing to be there for you at all tiems an dis not using you... TELL his present fiancee what he is doing, she deserves to know as much as you dont want to go into his life again I guess it would be fair to spare her form what is about to happen...
Well good luck with it and I think if you joined groups like to do stuff like gym, community service, something positive it will help and if you do something you like you can meet people with simmilar interests!
Good Luck with everything and you're studies!
P.S. 5 Banannas a day helps with studying!
cucumbers and eggs are good for weightloss since they burn more than they produce to get rid of themselves!
Have lots of friends by you to support you anmd to do positive and active things in your spare tiem like a trip to the mountaisn for fresh air or camping or whatever it is you liek to do!
2007-03-13 09:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made some very poor choices in marriage partners. It happens to a lot of people these days.
You've invested a lot of time and emotional energy into these relationships that have disintegrated before your very eyes. Even if we've put time and energy into a losing proposition, we've still invested the time. You still feel disappointed that it doesn't work out.
You're blaming everyong for your problems except for you. You're the one that is drawing these men into your environment. You allow people in. You draw people based on how you are, positive or negative. You've drawn a couple of users, probably because there is a very deep part of you that likes to be used.
You need to be more careful about what you are putting out because that's what you're going to get back. This is a fundamentl aspect of life that a lot of people have forgotten. If you don't like what life is giving you, look at what you are giving to life - because that's what you're getting back.
You're fine. You need no one but yourself to be strong, confident, and full of hope for the future.
FP
2007-03-13 16:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer is from a man, so I hope you don't mind.
You have lost two times in marriage, and now you are talking about on-line dating. Slow down!!! Take care of your HEALTH needs first. You might consider taking a rest from school. Get your life back in order MENTALLY!! Whether you know it, or not you are in a depression stage. If you don't have a doctor than find one, and get help. I mean a GP, they can evaluate you, and start your life on a new road. You mention you have a daughter, she should be your main concern right now. Children can sense when there is something wrong.
If you ever just want to talk to an old man, who has been through deep depression, just write me. Lariat_Sonata@yahoo.com.
Good Luck!!!
2007-03-13 16:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess you feel depressed because he is moving on with his life and you are stuck with bills and alone. I can see how that might depress you. I am sorry for your bad experiences. I don't know much about arranged marriages but, seems to me maybe you should try marrying the next man you marry because you love him, not because your parents and his say you should.
2007-03-13 16:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Uncle Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like you are quite lucky to be rid of him. We have all mistakes, so don't beat yourself up over them. We all learn from our mistakes. Meet new friends and go forward with you life and be happy. Be very careful of on line dating. Meet this guy if you feel comfortable and if you feel he is being honest with you. Make sure that someone knows when you are meeting him and that they know a bit about him too.
2007-03-13 16:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly do not have feelings for your ex then you might be feeling this way because you are alone and he has someone
you are not really alone, you have a child to take care of. concentrate on taking care of yourself and your child and when the time is right the right guy will come your way
be cool...
2007-03-13 16:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is man whore alert! but don't beat urself up ovr this cuz u deserve so much better than that so just keep ur head up nice and tall and try meeting guys the old fashion way cuz u can't really trust the internet these days! feel btr
2007-03-13 15:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by SarahBear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't feel down about the fact that he's engaged, feel down because your marriages were arranged!!! no wonder you separated!
best of luck to you in marrying for love this time around.
2007-03-13 15:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by Some Lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
+Why would you want to get into these arranged marriages? It happened to you once and you let it happen to you again. Sounds like you are a sucker for punishment.
2007-03-13 16:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you lost out. One old saying I always
rely on, no matter how old it is: You Cant have
everything. But you have to live to be as old
as Yoda or an elf to understand why.
2007-03-13 15:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋