Me n my boyfriend have been 2getha 4 bout 2 1/2yrs n he is a Great guy! We were the best of friends b4 our relationship and still are. But Because of previous trust issues in past relationships, i must admit that I have an issue with trust. Deep inside, i don't feel he's cheatin on me, but cuz i've been hurt so much in the past, i have an issue with trust n he n i have discussed that so for some reason, everytime we have a disagreement and want to talk about it, he says its cuz I Don't Trust him. I feel I trust him but you know how us girls always says lil slick things bout other women and things of that sort. I don't really mean it though. I don't DO things to show him I don't trust him. Well, we had an argument 2day n he gave me back my keys to my house n car. I don't wanna lose him cuz i feel we were made 4 each other but he just gets so stubborn n arrogant at times til I don't no how 2 deal with him. We were getting ready 2 plan our lives 2getha, Get married. HELP ME!
2007-03-13 08:34:22 · 19 answers · asked by KNicety 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
um oooooooooooo-k
2007-03-13 08:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is bring past issues into a new relationship. You need to realize that this is a new man, a new relationship with new possibilities.
Put the past in the past, open up your heart and trust in the person your with otherwise your bound to alienate the ones you love the most.
Call him and tell him today is a new day, tell him you will no longer put your past onto him,tell him today our relationship and our future begins.
If you mean what you say,and he comes back to you then you will be amazed at how you and your relationship will grow.
2007-03-13 15:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by pepc1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having read your comments about the trust issues you have, I wonder why after 2 1/2 years in this relationship they still exist? Surely your boyfriend has proved his love, his trust, to you? Your boyfriend, however understanding, must find it quite tiring to find that the issue of trust still exists?
I think you need to take positive steps to resolve this issue, & that I would suggest should involve some sort of counselling.
Assuming your boyfriend comes back to you, only when the issue of trust is resolved should you even begin to think about marriage.
Quite simply without trust you don't have a relationship.
2007-03-13 15:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's wallowing in the wake of another man's carnage and your past is less then pristine or you would not be so paranoid. Time for some frank conversations between you and mister right if you want things to be right in this relationship. Playing silly games with little slick things as you put it only complicates matters and adds confusion to the mix. Obviously the guy cares for you or he would leave to find someone who does't play games or have trust issues.
2007-03-13 15:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by rashawn4u2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it is not fair to judge him based on past experiences you had, he wasn´t there it is not his fault. You need to put closure to that past, and work on YOUR selfsteem. You were friends before so it shouldn´t be so hard to get better. No need to throw 2 years down the drain.
Give him a call and talk open hearted how you feel and that you are going to work hard to gain your self steem and therefore your trust on him, but as for his help too, tell him that until get out of that hole he tries no to talk to other girls or do whatever hurts you, but this is not forever, you need to get better and trust him and let him have his own life too. Otherwise you are hurting him too if you get sad when he is doing something you think is cheating and he may throw the towel and move on, so try to fix, if it doesn´t work still get all the help needed to keep working on your self steem and put a closure on your previous past experiences so you are fully ready to embrace a nice relationship.
2007-03-13 15:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by copita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear, what a mess. You really need to sit down together and sort things out. you say you've already told him about the trust issue but that doesn't give him the right to throw that at you every time you have a disagreement. Ask him how he feels and maybe approach things in a different way, rather than telling him, ask him what he thinks you could both do to nmake things right. good luck x x
2007-03-13 15:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by picklexxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang on , you say when you argue he is stubborn and arrogant. You admit to having a problem with trust and to making flippant remarks, maybe he is retaliating.
Solution: beg, crawl, apologise, once you have him back with you its time to deal with the issues you have. He knows you have been hurt before so tell him you will get help for your insecurities, get some counselling or at least find someone who can help you to get over this problem. It will be awful to lose this bloke as you obviously think a lot about him,
Best of luck.
2007-03-13 15:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seriously need to get over this trust issue. this should have been done before you got with your current partner,, he is a guy an im afraid that my experiance of guys is that if they can make things out to be the womans fault then they will, a word of advice DON'T GO RUNNING TO HIM LET HIM WORK THINGS OUT maybe this is an excuse as things was getting a bit too heavy and guys being guys when the word commitment is mentioned most do back off mine, did the same part from it was him saying bout us living togeva we bin split 3 n half year and have a child togeva when we split he actually had me thinking things was my fault go out with your friends have a laugh and wait for him to come bk with his tail btwn his legs gud luck x
2007-03-13 15:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by loubylou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a few days on his own. maybe he just needs a break. Meanwhile, think about all the changes you need to make before you ruin a good relationship. Then go to him, and apologize for everything, and let him know you really want to try. I know what you mean..we can get jealous and possessive, but I think overtime, it really kills relationships. Be careful what comes out of your mouth. Words can't be taken back.
2007-03-13 15:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe your ready for a long-term relationship. Before considering marriage you possibly can't go in not trusting the person. It would be worthless. I say you just end the relationship and find someone that you can trust.
2007-03-13 15:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either trust him or you don't. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything.
Sounds like he got tired of all of your little slick things you say to him that question your trust for him and left.
you need to work out your trust issues before you have a relationship...if you never trust the person you are with you will never be happy
be cool...
2007-03-13 15:39:31 · answer #11 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋