i know what i gotta do is right but why i am i so scared?

Question

well i have been looking for a room .so i could rent and i have rang to see this nice room and i ll take it straight the way
but the thing is honestly i am leaving my boyfriend because he hits me
i cant do it untill aprill
i have lefted him before and he rang me and etc and said he will change but the only thing he has done is get a job .
still there is no change in his behavior .
i have let my company who i work for about this relationship
there asking me how i am but i am not getting a day off or any thing so i can sort things out
what would you do if you was in my situlation
and there is no way i could kick him out my flat and etc because he aunty leaves around the corner please help

Answer 1

first things first.
u need 2 get out of the situation u r in.
approach the police, they can/should advise u & put u in touch with a womens refuge.
trust me, they're safe & he won't find u.

it's ur flat,
do u own it?
then sell it.
u need 2 cut ties with this man. keeping that flat will cause problems. as he's hit u b4 it's proof he won't stop.

men who hit women r bullys & need professional help.
don't think 4 a minute that u can help him, u can't.
but leaving him may wake him up 2 the fact he could end up a criminal.
best he walks away. do u think he will?

so my opinion is
u get the hell away from him.

Answer 2

If it's your flat, and only your name is on the lease, then you have every right to kick him out. It will be awkward, since he might go stay with his aunt and will be living nearby, but at least it will keep you safe while you look for a new place farther away from him.

Tell your boyfriend (preferably over the phone, in a public place, or with a male friend present so he won't give way to his violent temper) the relationship isn't working out, and you feel it's best for both of you if you don't drag it out any longer. Toss all his belonging in a box and leave it in the lobby/hallway/curb. Have the landlord change the locks to the apartment and inform him that your former "roommate" is no longer welcome on the premises, and why. Call the police and request a restraining order. Ask your boss if you can take a sick day or a vacation day, or rearrange your schedule so you can tend to your personal matters and come back to work with a clear mind.

As soon as you can, move to a new place and start your life over. Make sure your family, friends, coworkers, and landlord know that your ex is not welcome anywhere near you, and they should not give him any information about where to find out. They will want to keep you safe.

Don't wait, don't make excuses, just cut ties with him fast and protect yourself!!

Answer 3

Girley you need to get out. . . kick him out, change your locks and forget his name!!! If he's violent you might not have until April..After you kick him out, I would stay with a friend for a couple of days, and let the police know, just incase he tries anything. all you have to do is call them and say you have a violent b/f you don't want to press any charges, but you're kicking him out and that you want them to have a heads up. They can't press charges for you unless it turns really bad. THe biggest thing on top of this is DO NOT answer his calls DO NOT call him and DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT put yourself in a bad posistion. . . like walking home by yourself or things like that. You need to leave, you should never be afraid of someone that is supposed to love you. I wouldn't tell him you're kicking him out, I would do it while he's at work and put his stuff out front (again inform the cops) have one come to the house (it's a good idea) when he gets off work . . .he will only continue to hurt you if he feels like other people don't know about it. Change your locks!

Answer 4

First of all well done for taking a big step a lot of women put up with this sort of thing for too long.
Why can you not kick him out! What as it got to do with his aunty.
Whose name is the flat in if it is yours then you got every right to kick him out. Why should you have to up and leave. Give him an ultimatum he packs his bags and goes or you will get the police involved for violence. ave someone with you when you tell him.

I take it you rent the flat ask the landlord if you can change the locks and you will pay for it to be done.

If you want to move out then do it, ask your boss for time off even if its only a few hours they sound understanding but just dont realise you need time off.

Dont listen to his "i will change, but i love you crap". get rid of the loser.

best wishes.

Answer 5

You are scared because an abusive relationship can affect your self-esteem. This type of abuse is about power and control and it appears you are used to feeling powerless. You have taken a very brave first step to getting out of the relationship since you've already discovered he hasn't made any effort to change. You must be sure to be careful so he doesn't suspect anything, for your safety. Is there a friend you can really trust who can help you on the day? Whatever else you do make sure you do not tell anyone who might tell him where you are going. I wish you better choices in future, good luck.

Answer 6

You did the right thing in telling your company. Tell HIM to move, as it is YOUR flat !!!!! If he is not doing so, call the police and get an order to prevent him to come anywhere near your flat. I am sorry you have this problem, but you MUST
try and get out of this situation before it gets to the point where someone gets seriously hurt.You can get advice from a CITIZEN ADVICE BUREAU Solicitor free of charge. Ring your local Office (Tel Book). Good Luck.

Answer 7

It takes courage to do what you are doing..not fear.
It will take courage to stick to your guns and not let this guy
back into your life as well.
The secret to his success in ruling your life is intimidation.
Don't be intimidated when he does try to come back into your
life.
Fear is faith perverted.Don't let fear have a voice.
I know everything is scary right now and you that maybe all that is going through your mind.Just don't give it a chance to grow inside of you with the words of your mouth.

Have you ever noticed that some people get that which they have feared in their life..instead of that which they had hoped for secretly?I say secretly because you never hear what they hoped for only what they feared.
Put your hope for you life where your mouth is...start talking to yourself and your friends about what you hope for and not what you fear.You will be surprised to learn that not only will you become stronger but you will have changed your life and got what you hoped for too.

Answer 8

Are you saying he lives with his aunt?? Call the police next time he hits you, also there are places that will help you with a place to live if you are being abused. Ask at the doctors office or the police and they will give you all the information. Get out as soon as possible because it will only get worse. Don't answer any of his phone calls either.

Answer 9

if its your flat then Aunty round the corner or not Id ask him to leave and if he didnt then Id get the police involved as long as your names on the tennants agreement or mortgage then they can remove him from your property then Id get a restraining order out change the locks and make sure I never saw him again. Then Id go out an find meself a new feller who treated me right to make sure that I wouldn;t give into temptation and go back to him!

Answer 10

If you have the money stay in a hotel, or stay with friends or family, just get away from him and don't listen to him if he says he will change, it is never acceptable for a man to hit a woman and you should never think it is. If you're scared, just close your eyes and jump, pretty much anywhere must be better than where you are now, right?
if you can't leave right now, sleep with a baseball bat under your pillow and say its 'just in case', that'll keep him on his toes...