i think my friend is hitting her daughter?

Question

i babysat a friends 2 year old the other day, and while changing her nappy (yes...nearly 3 n STILL in nappies) i noticed very strong red marks all over her bottom. she's a very naughty girl n i kno her mum does hit her, but im now wondering if she's doing it more than she really needs/should.
who should i report this to if i see more of the same? she's taken her daughter out of nursery, refuses to have a registard babysitter and never takes her daughter to the doctors. admittly the worse i've ever seen the kid have is a sniffle, but no check ups nothing.
should i report it to someone now? if so who? n if not, how long do i wait? it was actually hurting the kid to sit on her bottom on the floor!! please help i don't know what to do!

also i don't know if there is anything anyone can do about this, but the flat they live in is DISGUSTING! u can smell the place b4 u get there, the dishes are moldy, theres ciggy buts all over the place, u cnt wlk without treading on rubbish. i dread going to see her there incase she offers me a drink!! imagin a pigs stye, well my friends is about 80X worse. anything i can do?

sorry i should have said. i live in england. (texas? wow)

Answer 1

You need to contact your local social work department just on the basis that this child is living in filth and hasnt been registered with a doctor. They will do everything to make sure the child isnt taken away from its mother but will help her with her parenting skills

Your friend might just need the help of professionals as she sounds like she might be depressed if she is living in a sh*t hole.

Good luck

Answer 2

hi i would report this to the child protection/health aurthorities this young child should not be living in such environment not only is it unsafe it has health warning all over it also if your niece is smacking the child in which i firmily believe in time out no smacking then the child is at serious risk please do something about it and not let the child suffer anymore than she already has done also from my own experience with my son (whos 4)they can wind you up until you can take no more also i use the time out technique and it diffuses the situation before it gets out of hand .
this sort of attitude your niece is doing is harming the child not just physically but emotionally too and the child needs a stable home that clean and calm her health with this sort of bacteria her health will start to differ and could cause serious allergys/and sores get her to sort herslf out or phone the nspcc,local authorities,doctor and also healthvisitor if unsure about contact for this sort of carry ons.
be brave ,call them and help the little girl help she desperatly needs other wise things will get worse and who knows what may happen.good luck

Answer 3

1. The average age for potty-training is 2-4. It's hardly shocking that a 2-year-old would still be in diapers.

Other than that, I think you should have a SERIOUS sit-down talk with your friend. Tell her that you care about her and her kid, but you're worried, and you feel some things have to change for the safety of her daughter.

If things don't change IMMEDIATELY, contact the authorities. Since you refer to "nappies" and "flats" I would guess you aren't in Texas, so I don't know who you should contact, but it would be something along the lines of a child welfare agency, or child protection/safety services.

Where I live, it's actually considered neglect to not take a child to the doctor, and to live that way. And it's actual abuse, anyway you slice it, when a child has marks and is in pain when she tries to sit.

I personally don't think you'd be out of line by calling authorities based on that alone.

Answer 4

I'd make a call to child protective services...as for the still being in a diaper there is nothing wrong with a 2 yr old being in a diaper, most kids don't even start to potty train until 2 1/2..as for everything else something needs to be done.

Answer 5

The only right thing you can do here is report it to an authority, maybe anonymously would be easier, but Imagine the future if anything did happen to this girl, you would be saddled with the guilt for the rest of your life, but not just for your conscience should you act. In all things, you must do what you know is right.
If the authorities don't resolve the situation then you did try.

Answer 6

call the social services for advice. maybe try to tell your friend your concerns, but it may be hard for her to take. i feel so helpless when i see kids so obviously neglected and mentally abused.

try to think of something that would make your friend change her ways. suggest that you are doing some spring cleaning and ask if she wants you to look after her daughter while she does hers.

show her child lots of positive attention so she sees her daughter enjoying the nice attention you are giving her. this may make her feel guilty enough to be the same with her daughter.

talk to your friends parents if its appropriate. suggest that you are concerned, they may be able to help.


if you can't talk to her call social services for advice like i said.
they may go so far as to investigate. hopefully this should scare your friend into doing something about her mothering skills , if not the child may be put into care. there are two sides to this. children obviously don't want to be separated from their mums but it may benefit this little girl.

Answer 7

I know how you feel.

I'm not sure how it goes on reporting in your area (I assume you're in the UK? I'm in US) but I wish you all the best for helping this child.

My aunt told me "your time spent around this child will be the best for this child, and the more your friend sees how gentle you are with her baby and how enjoyable it is for you, the more your friend will look at her own ways"

My aunt also gave me a Ghandi quote: "You should be the change that you want to see in the world."
Meaning, show your friend how to be around her baby, by simply being how you wish her to be as a loving mother.

I'm not sure what to do about reporting it either, but search on these topics online...go out to the appropriate public services and get advice by asking questions of how to help your friend...without using any names.
These services should also be able to advise you of how to talk with your friend about this.

Good luck. ;)

Answer 8

You MUST report this to social services, this child is innoccent and not deserving of this treatment. They will be unlikely to take the child from her mother unless there is a great need for her own safety, but they will inspect and threaten to take her unless they sort the place out. It breaks my heart to think of a poor baby being so badly neglected, please act now, you are the only person who can help this child.

Answer 9

Call Child Protective Services. You should do it right away and it can be done without them telling your "friend" who has reported her. There is definitely something going on if the child can't sit on her bottom. Also, no child should have to live in such filth because their parents are too lazy to clean up. I don't even want to think of all the nasty toxins and bacteria that could be harming that poor child.

Answer 10

Report her!!! This is a horrible living environment for a child, no wonder she's bad! She doesn't have a stable, clean environment. You call Child Protective Services, they will come out and look at the 'flat' and look at the child.