hey i'm 19 i met a girl at college and i've now been with her for six months, i love her to bits but she won't have sex with me. we've both only slept with one other person but mine was a one night stand and hers was a boyfriend of two years. when she's with her friends she always talks about how often she slept with him and she's told me they used to sleep together in every room of the house. she keeps saying she hates him because he cheated on her and that she's in love with me but she just refuses to have sex. whenever we get close she makes an excuse an just leaves. i don't mean to sound big headed but i've seen her ex and i'm better looking than him so i can't understand why she'd be so happy to do so much with him and nothing at all with me. please help if you can because my jealousy is tearing our relationship apart really quickly.
2007-03-13 07:47:27 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I suspect that one of the reasons is that she knows that when it comes to issues like this, you're more likely to post a question on the internet to ask a bunch of strangers as opposed to talking to her.
Dude, you need to talk to HER! If you love her that much, then you need to find out what's going on in her head. If you love her that much that you think you might be with her the rest of your life, then what's the problem waiting a few extra months?
2007-03-13 07:53:05 · answer #1 · answered by Joe Bostonian 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From experience, being cheated on is the worse feeling in the world. Like your girlfriend, when I was cheated on, it was the first guy I had ever slept with, and married. After I found out, it was devastating. It may just be that she does love you and doesn't want to have the same thing happen again.
It may be that she is scared that if you take your relationship to the next level that you'll (excuse the expression) "hit it and quit it". Don't press the issue, if you like her a lot too then you will wait until she's ready to give herself to you. It make take some time because being cheated on does damage you emotionally and it's harder to trust.
2007-03-13 15:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by NikkiWy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her to stop talking about having sex with her ex, or you need to stop asking her about him. My guess is you are jealous of their old relationhip so you are asking for details.
First thing, make sure they two of you have had the battery of tests for STI's so you can be more comfortable when it comes to that issue.
She might be afraid of having sex with you due to the fact that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her. Having sex is an extremely big step in a relatiionship, and it probably caused a lot of agony when she reached that step in her previous relationship and her partner is unfaithful. She may be afraid that you will do the same thing to her.
Looks really have nothing to do with it. She is dating you, so you are attractive enough. This issue has to do with trust, and whether or not she is ready to take the relationship to that level with you. A good first step is to try and be less jealous, or at least not let her know that you are jealous. If you start telling yourself that you are not jealous, then eventually you might not be.
You speak of your jealousy tearing the relationship apart. If you have problems in your relationship, then sex will compound them, not alleviate them. Make sure your relationship is very comfortable and very solid.
Just try not to be so jealous, and if you two are meant for eachother it will happen. There is no need to rush it. She is dating you because she wants to be with you. If she wanted to be with her ex she could easily drop you and go back to him. Worrying will not change that.
Best of Luck.
2007-03-13 14:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by three_holepunch_haircut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man you need to respect her decision. Look at it this way......when she was with that other guy, she was younger and more stupid. She has learned something from that situation and does not want to make the same mistake. I applaud her for not having sex with you. By you pressuring her, you are going to drive her away. If sex is that important to you then, maybe you should find someone else. You are too young anyway. But she does need to stop talking about her sexual experience around all her friend and you. I understand why that makes you feel uncomfortable. Good Luck!
2007-03-13 14:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by Mo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that deep down inside she regrets giving it up to him. Maybe she's thinking she should've waited and just feels that she doesn't want to make the same mistake twice. I think it would be in your best interest to talk things out with her. Tell her exactly what you're feeling. She should be there for you and hear you out. And this way you get the reason directly from her so you don't have to keep wondering what the heck is going on. Communication is the key to great relationships so start talking!! Best of luck to you.
2007-03-13 14:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by devious805er 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think sex is Love you will be disappointed every time.
When you do not have sex it's a good thing because sex
will not drive the boat.You'll really get to know one another.Sex will not be the main issue.Communicate to her why she has chosen abstinence.
If you truly Love her sex will come later on.You both will be emotionally able to handle it.Get married and love one another.
Have all the love making you desire.Sex is not LOVE.
2007-03-13 15:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry for being blunt, but i think she's still not over her ex-bf. that's what the symptoms imply. what i think u shud do is ask her straight. i think communication is the most important thing in a relationship, n trust me, i've suffered due to lack of comm. since it has already been 6 months, i don't know what she's up to. ask her straight if she's jus goin out wid u to make her ex jealous or sth. N don feel responsible for this. U r not at fault. Plus, she realy shudn't b talkin abt sleepin wid her ex so much neway.
Best o' luck
2007-03-13 14:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by dash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...from a woman's perspective, it sounds to me like she is still not over her previous relationship. For a lot of woman sex is a very deep, intimate act of love and if she gave that to her ex-boyfriend and he cheated, she's probably afraid that it will happen again with you. I don't understand why she talks about those details with you. But try not to pressure her. When she's ready, it will happen.
2007-03-13 14:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her time even if she has sleep with someone befor give her time it does not meen she does not love you i am sure she does just cuz she won't sleep with you does not meen she does't love give her more time she will come around some girls tack more time than others do don't get mad at her cuz it sounds like she is a good person and don't want to rush into anything but just give her some more time and don't ask her as much and she will come around i am a gril turst me i know just let her get ready it will be ok she will come around when she is ready just make her more ready by giveing her time and she will get more and make hae more close to you that will make her think trust me.
2007-03-13 14:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly she might not want to make this mistake again, losing her virginity to a cheater, she dosn't know if you are gonan go do the same thing secondly its her decision she was with the dud for 2 year snd you've been with her for a few months so take it slow if you really love her, im sure you will sacrifice sex until shes ready.
2007-03-13 14:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by ...x...sxy ting...x... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋