the person i love was a friend of me long ago(3years friendship).
he used to have time for me and was a person who understands me.but now he don't have time to speak to me.whenever i'm busy he want me to meet him.if i say no he will get angry and say i'm very stubborn.he always comments about my parents and brother and if i do the same he gets angry.but when he was my friend he was not like this. at that time he was the only person(else then parents)who cared for me so much that he fought with his best friend for making me cry. i don't know what i'm thinking is right or wrong.but i know one thing i don't want to lose him and can't even live under dominated person.what should i do?
2007-03-13 07:47:19 · 10 answers · asked by anitha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"Absence sharpens love" ever heard of this saying before?
I think what you two need is a little bit of spacing out. Try to reduce the frequency of your dates, also your phone conversations. Talk to your lover about your problem with him, At times guys fail to understand what is going-on on the other side.
On the other hand, your story sounds contradictory, you say he used to have the time for you before and now he does'nt have time even to talk to you, then you go on to say that he wants to meet you when your busy.... Now, who's not having the time for whom?
On commenting about your family, Who has given him the freedom to do so? it is your fault for letting him comment about your family, don't let him do this anymore, tell him you feel the same as he feels when you comment about his family.
Men are'nt always what they seem, they may be adults in physic but are still boys at heart who fail to grow up. You also seem to have a possessive lover.
Why does he dominate you? is he feeling insecure or does he have a complex of some sort?
My sincere advice is to rethink your relationship and refine the way you two look at each other, it will take a lot of talking between you two.
I would like to conclude with this, its up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth the try....
2007-03-13 08:09:41 · answer #1 · answered by Philip G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be taking you for granted. This can happen in a normal relationship but one has to watch out and always be appreciative & caring of each other. I feel he is treating you disrespectfully. I suggest you have a serious talk with him, and let him know how you feel. Tell him you can't continue the relationship under these conditions, because none of you can be happy this way. Then dont mention this, and give him some time, and observe him to see if he is making changes. U also make changes you think you should make. If things still dont change, I don't see him as the right person for you. U should let him go then.
PS: Also ask him if everything is OK with him, and if he has something bothering him that he needs to talk to you about?
Sometimes people can act out this way if something else is bothering them.
2007-03-13 08:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he loves you. To him you were a goal. Till he was your friend, his struggle was to achieve the goal. That is why he was nice to you. Once you fell for him, his struggle was over. He has now taken you for granted.
You say you don't wanna lose him. But if you stay with such a person, your life would be a living hell as he would be dominating like anything. I suggest you forget the person. You deserve a better one. Understand your values dear. You are not someones toy to do whatever he wants you to do. besides, why is there any need for him to speak ill about your family members. Compromising at times is ok, but every time is definitely not. You better talk to him, tell him that you feel he has changed and if he carries on with such an attitude, it's better to finish it off here.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-13 11:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you! as to your question,love for a person should only grow greater. in the growing there are highs and lows, on a higher scale. the one you love should also be your best friend. so the respect factor is something you need to keep in mind all of the time when you find yourself asking these type of questions. would he like it if you acted this way toward him? do you want to put up with these type of things,selling yourself short is not a good thing.their is someone out there who will treat you the way you want. which should be greater and greater as you grow together. you know the answer to your own question,it is the consequences that you don't want to go through. well believe me they will not hurt you anymore than what they are now if you make the decision now. harder later
i say you are worth more than what he is giving you.when you try and talk to him he does not want to hear about it.that's why he gets mad. so i9n reality it takes about 20 seconds to answer a question. you ask him a question and he does not want to talk about it . that says to me your not worth 20 sec of his time. 20 sec. ya think about it 20 today 10 tomorrow.
it's not easy believe me, but you have to turn right or left at this t in the road, don't hold up traffic to long
2007-03-13 08:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by james 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm an grownup, so I savor my dad and mom reviews and their know-how. in the journey that that they had a valid reason to no longer settle for the man I loved i'd re-study what i'm doing. The key-word is valid. My dad and mom respect and have self assurance my judgment. they would not be cavalier about that.
2016-12-01 22:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he's taking you for granted. Harden your heart and teach him to do exactly the opposite. Ignore him, avoid him, have a good time with your friends in front of him but make him not welcome. Once he's through that, he'll ask you what's wrong. TELL HIM EVERYTHING. DO NOT CRY, as it'll make you desperate. Then give him some time to think. Thing will improve.
god bless
2007-03-13 23:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be with someone who makes you unhappy! My hubby and I were friends before we started dating and dating/marriage changed that relationship very little. I can't see a reason for the huge change in your boyfriend. Maybe it's time to move on. Good luck. :)
2007-03-13 07:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anitha
whats hppening is very common.love is giving not taking.when u give up this principle then there is n o love only barter.
first when he was your friend, he was covetin you, he wanted you, so he foughht for u too......................then u wer his..........u became his possession..............u belonged to him................now he cud take u for granted...............his behaviour changed as he already had u under his thumb so to say............
well too bad.he is not the sameperson you were loving. u were loving sum1 who wanted u anyhow..............now he dosent give a damn...............
so put yr foot down.............dont worry about consequences, or losing him, its not worth the troble.............if he still luvs n cares fr uthen he will listen to u even when u put yr foot down, if not just move on.......u deserve better
2007-03-13 08:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider leaving him.
2007-03-13 07:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think so it hasnt with my husband we just became alot closer to eachother.
2007-03-13 07:50:45 · answer #10 · answered by dazed n confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋