Ok there are a lot of things going on in this best friend relationship (and have been for some time now) and my gut tells me something is not right. Things just have not been the same. It is to the point that I feel akward, that I can not talk to her about some things. We work toghether and have the same group of friends but that never use to be a problem and it seems to be more than that. We do not have the same fun friendship that we use to. I guess I would like to talk about this with her but I am not sure how to bring it up or when? I also want this conversation to be between us not or close group of girlfriends or it will end up being something horrible. What do I do and how do I talk about this? I thought things were better for a while and now they are back to the way they use to be.
2007-03-13 07:41:31 · 12 answers · asked by Ella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You said your gut tells you something is not right and you are considering giving out more information about your thoughts and feelings. Frankly, I wouldn’t. I would just listen to my gut and keep my mouth shut and eyes open. When you’re feeling a need for reassurance that things are fine, it’s natural to look to the source for that assurance but what is your gut telling you? I’m afraid you’ll only put yourself at more risk by revealing your feelings. If you can trust this best friend then you will feel the loving attention coming your way when she reveals her insecurities and feelings and says what’s been going on with her. Until then I’d hold my cards close to my chest and keep being friendly but private about my feelings. Be your own best friend and don’t put yourself at risk just yet. There’s no emergency to reveal your feelings right now, you can be friendly while just not talking about feeling insecure about the relationship. Friendship betrayals can be, to use your word, “horrible,” so don’t risk it: Just be friendly and confidant and a nice person and if someone asks you about your feelings just give a non-answer like, “I’ll think about that” until you can really figure out what’s going on. When people tell you things “oh really?” is a good answer. When you’re feeling that things might not be right is a good time to step back and just tread water for a while without making any commitments about how you feel. Remember, whatever you say will too often be used against you and your feelings are something you really don’t have to share if you’re not feeling safe. You will not be held accountable for saying things you’ve never said and giving “inside information” to someone your gut is warning you against is not a good idea.
2007-03-13 08:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've noticed that most females will use the group of friends as a base of power and also as reinforcements, so tread carefully, make sure they have nothing they can use against you, or have anyways to hurt you, because if you don't succeed in making peace, then it'll be all-out war with people who know you inside and out. Most guys will just exclude you from their group, but girls will take it personally and can be 10X more vindictive and vengeful against someone who doesn't go along with the flow.
2007-03-13 14:50:05 · answer #2 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal life's and relationships should never be discussed with anybody other than qualified people. Friends are not qualified. This is a Woman thing. Try living life without talking about others and stop gossiping and trying to solve everybody Else's problems.
2007-03-13 14:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by felippie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try bonding on things that you guys used to love. Try to hang out and have fun. Talk to your friend about things going on in your life. If nothing seems to work, then you might have to face that fact that the friendship has grown apart. I was best friends with someone since my elementary years, but found that we grew apart no matter how much we still hung out. We never talked about the same things anymore, and she was interested in things that I disagreed with. Eventually it took her to stab me in the back for me to realize that she was never a real friend. But I hope things work out for you.
2007-03-13 14:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rewind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your best friend you shouldnt have a problem talking to her about this, friends fight all the time, but best friends should never let a little awkardness ruin their friendship, it is best to get this out in the open so you two can work things through, i hope it works out for you
2007-03-13 14:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people just grow apart from one another. There is nothing that sparks it, it just happens.
You could tell that person you'd like to get together with themr and have coffee or something of that nature. Then explain how you're feeling and that you'd like to know how she/he is feeling.
2007-03-13 14:45:13 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull her aside or call her up and suggest you can meet someplace to work things out. Maybe she's just been real busy, or perhaps there's something wrong
2007-03-13 14:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by YinxSphinxmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like she has a problem with somthing to. she dosnt know how to come about it either. so maybe you can talk to her on the fone or somthing and see what is bugging her and you can tell her how you are feeling.
2007-03-13 14:51:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jelly_Beans13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let the things develop spontaneously, no big words,sometimes relations (just like people) die of natural causes...
2007-03-13 14:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All u've got to do is to talk to her like u do with others....dont give her any better importance than others. Consider her like others, ur frinedship will improve
2007-03-13 14:58:34 · answer #10 · answered by shehzaad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋