shes actually my daughter and hes her step father hes a lil more strickt then i am but i allow him to skoll her but sometimes it bothers me if i see that what she is doing isnt as bad as he makes it seem soo i step in and he gets botherd says that i should do that cause then she think its ok...also i work all day so when i am at home and i disapline her she talks back member shes only 3 and i get upset and he comes in and sets her str8 ..but i hate it cause i guess i was so useto it bein me and her and just for 10 months hes been in our life other then this hes great with her 5 months into the relationship she felt and got real comfortable with him she even calls him daddy on her own with no ones pressure and i love it hes great with her but we seem to disagree when it comes to disaplineing her ..how can i work on siting back and just watching and how can he learn to understand where im comeing from ..
2007-03-13 07:39:00 · 8 answers · asked by Oo_Yes_ca 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well u shouldnt be stepping in while your boyfriend is disapline her, u should tell him after what u think he did wrong and talk about it properly.
Your daughter will pick up on the fact that u didnt like how your boyfriend was dealing with the situation and therefore not respect what he says in the future when she is doing something wrong.
And if your daughter is back talking she needs to stop it, if your strict about it he wont need to tell her off because she will stop doing it if she knows u mean what u say
2007-03-13 08:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has a real easy answer. If you are going to have your boyfriend in the relationship, a few things need to come about. First, you need to compromise. If he is going to discipline her, and you are too, you need to come together and compromise to a situation that is in the best interest of your daughter. The other thing is, is the discipline you give too light. You see if the punishment is not enough to show that is wrong and its too light, your daughter will keep doing it over and over again. You need to put your foot down, and if she sees that the punishment is worse from him than you, she will do it more with you because she will get away with it.
On the otherhand, if the punishment is not working on both of you, then you need to get a social worker involved. Social workers are not just for crazy people, they are educated people who can help give you constructive ways to help foster the understandings your child need.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't address his methods just after he disciplines her...you need to sit down when you're both calm and discuss this issue.
Also, don't address it AS he's disciplining her because if you have a difference of opinion and you air it out in front of her, she will be confused as to what is acceptable and what is not and she will learn to manipulate both of you based on your difference in parenting.
Lay out what you feel is inappropriate punishment for a 3 yo and also what you do feel is appropriate. Make a list of offenses and the consequences that should go with that offense so that you're both on the same page.
2007-03-13 07:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by Nasubi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it bothers you because he is using her for his own power needs.... a child is quite pure, and usually it is the parents lack of patience that is the problem more than the childs defiance. I say a slightly defiant child is a strong child and will change the world... let the child win some,,,,, in the power struggles......
a child beaten into conformity (emotionally) is an ordinary child.... teach the child right and wrong when they are older when you can talk to them,,,, and have a conversation,,,,
when an adult is angry at a child it implies the adult is using the child for power..... emotions are not needed in discipline,,,, and often not constructive......
I say never hit the child.... especially when you are angry.....
and tell him to stay off of her......
2007-03-13 07:51:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I would advise you to return to Undergrad college and get rid of the horrible case of Phonix-Rocketry you've got going on there.
As for your parasite, many credible studies have shown that Lugz Steel Toe construction boots are often the most effective form of child punishment. (Delivered via a swift kick to the throat or back of head, preferably a roundhouse).
2007-03-13 07:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by R-Diz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my good God woman. You need to grow some balls and put your foot down with your boyfriend. Especially if he is only her "stepfather". you are the one who carried her in your womb for 9 months and knew about her before you knew about him. Who knows what could be going on in the home while you are gone at work all day. You should protect your daughter like she is the lost city of Antlantis. All little girls need their mothers there and need to feel protected by them. How good of a job are you doing by leaving all day? Make your boyfriend get a job or something. I hope that you come to your senses soon.
2007-03-13 07:49:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think u should talk to ur boyfriend just say how you luv how u get on wif each other but u would like to have the upper arm on the upbringing of UR daughter
2007-03-13 07:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by big_yin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to understand that discipline should be age appropriate and that there are different ways to discipline. You should always stand up for her if you feel that the punishment is unjust.
2007-03-13 07:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋