I have been together with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. He works a lot, and doesn't have a lot of time for me which I have accepted and realize that he has to make a living in real estate which is a lot of time investment. We were talking the other day, and we have problems with each other going out to a club because of past experiences with that. He told me if I can't deal with it that we shouldn't see each other, and I am not allowed to go out to even dinner with the girls. This upsets me a lot because I know he is controlling, but this just isn't fair. He is always onry when he is done working or if something goes wrong, and takes it out on me. Whether it is yelling or just being plain negative. I am just frustrated and don't know what to do. I want him to take a weekend off and take a vacation or just get away. HELP!
2007-03-13 07:37:09 · 25 answers · asked by BW 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In this case, a weekend off for time together would be like putting a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. You already know the answer to your question, sweetie. Three years is a big investment--in time and in heart. But this is not the man for you. You've admitted that he is "controlling." It's almost like you're saying that he won't spend time with you, but he doesn't want you having fun on your own, either.
If your boyfriend is successful in real estate, I would guess that he is very much a Type A personality. A real go-getter, very aggressive and probably very stressed out much of the time. While I can empathize with him, you have to ask yourself if this is a situation that you want to invest even more time into. Bear in mind, this will not get better. It will only get worse, as your relationship solidifies.
If he is this controlling as a boyfriend, can you imagine what he would be like as a fiance?...or as a husband??? He already think he owns you, my dear. What would be--and should be--joyful, wonderful milestones in your relationship will only serve to be his official "roping and branding" of you--his "property."
Cut your losses and get out while you can!
2007-03-13 07:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by mrvid2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound very trusting or encouraging. This sounds like a potential abusive relationship, whether emotional or physical. I suggest you try talking to him. Tell him that you don't appreciate him controlling your life. Tell him you understand that he has a hectic life, but you feel that he's neglecting you. Tell him that you don't enjoy him taking things out on you. If he doesn't make an effort to change, then leave him. You'll only suffer if you stay where you are. Unhappiness only grows with time.
2007-03-13 07:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Rewind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he answered the question for you when he told you to deal with it or you shouldn't see each other. In saying that, he said that he isn't willing to change so you have to choose between the current situation or moving on.
Can you be happy with the relationship as it is, or is it time to go out and find out what can make you happy?
2007-03-13 07:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and tell him how you feel, if it doesn't work, get out of this relationship before you two finally realize both have wasted a lot of time on each other and hate each other.
2007-03-13 08:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mochi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound miserable, telling you not to go out to dinner with your girlfriends is not good, I understand him not wanting you to go to clubs, that can often lead to trouble. Besides I know I would rather go with my guy than without. Though it sounds like you are just not happy maybe you should re-think being with him. Sometime you already know the answer its just better to have someone confirm it. I would say let him go.
2007-03-13 07:42:29 · answer #5 · answered by preshus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. In the long run, when you guys realize that you have wasted so much time, you will beat yourself up because of that. If you are not happy now, and he is not happy now, then get out, before you hate each other!
2007-03-13 07:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by jessikatapp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him whatever u feel and what upsets u from his behaviour.....if he doesnt accept it and thats what i think then u r free and there r millions of guyz out there who deserve u.I actually think he doesnt even love u ......if he loves u ,he would do his best to make u happy and satified but i think he just wants to control u and controls ur freedom......this is not good for a long term relation......tell him what u feel honestly and need not worry......Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:47:22 · answer #7 · answered by Natasha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound like a healthy relationship. Nobody should tell someone they cant go out with their friends. That is being selfish untrusting and uncaring. Maybe you should take some time apart, it might do you wonders.
2007-03-13 07:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by hank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over with him and if that doesn't work then maybe your just not meant to be. Think about it? Would you rather have a social life or a life controlled by someone else?
2007-03-13 07:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by ❤ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of this, i was in this kind of relationship and it ended with him cheating on me, its only a matter of time before he does it to you if he already hasnt, he dosent want you going out cuz he dosent want you hooking up with other guys like he does girls....being controlling is the first sign...you diserve better and you will find a guy who lets you hang out with the girls,you shouldnt let a man tell you what you can and cannot do,it s hard but you'll be happier when you get your girl time back..
2007-03-13 07:42:34 · answer #10 · answered by CRAZY 8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋