I think he was molested?

Question

My son stays with my mother a few nights out of the week while me and his father go to work. Last night my brother came crying to my house saying that my mother had accused him of molesting my son. He said he was hurt that she would think that. Then this morning my mother called me and told me what had happened. My 4yr old son had gotten into bed with her and started to feel on her breasts. My mother was a little weirded out by this but she said she pretended to be asleep just to see how far this would go. He then checked to see if she was asleep and then he pulled the back of her pants down and tried to feel my moms butt up. My mom turned around and asked him what he was doing he said nothing. She asked him wear he had learned that. He didnt say anything then she asked him if he had learned that from my brother (who is gay) and he said yes. My mom went to my brothers room and asked him about it and he said no and began to cry. They got into an arguement and he left to my house.

When I asked my son about this he said that he didnt want to get in trouble but I dont no what that means. Did my brother do something to him? I dont want to think so I love him soo much and it hurts to think he would ever do something like that. What do I do? I also asked my son if my brother had touched him before and he said no. He said that he doesnt know where he learne it from and that no one ever touched him. When I first asked my son about what happened he started to cry. What am i supposed to tink?

Answer 1

Hi /just to be safe i'd keep the brother away for a bit because when someone molestest someone they usually threaten to harm the children for the kids to be quiet so that could be the reason of ur son not wanting to get into trouble he's young enough to inspect his privates for any force entry or sexual smell different than his own natural smell;myself being a survirvor off incest i am insanely fearfull off my daughter going thrue any molestation /my daughter is 3 1/2 years old /usually kids that are yound if taught could begin playing secretely games that feel good to them like sexually cause they dont know anybetter /therapy is good and the ways off teaching right and wrong along side off such things as innapropiate talk or touching /lately ive been interested in buying small spie cams just to see who can i really trust maybe u could try that urself as well/ praying is good to keep ourchildren safe /well God blessed ur familly i hope ive given u some peace sorry for life not being the most pleasant just remember ur upbringing its like its happening again almost what can we do to change that and be aware off our childrens lifes a bit more just to be safe k peace and love by Ivy...

Answer 2

This has to be hard for you since not only is your son involved but also your brother. But the one person you are obligated to protect is your son, not anyone else. Find a good time once this has blown over and talk with your son about the good touch and bad ones. Just because your brother is gay doesn't mean he did anything. Your son is picking this up somewhere. 4 year olds have no concept of sexual things unless it has been done to them or see others do it and then play it out. Believe your son if he says your brother did it. Maybe it would be best for a while for your son not to be around your brother, that way it will give your son time. Children learn this behaviour, so maybe by talking to him and your brother you can decide what happened.

Answer 3

First off, your first priority is to your son, not your brother or your mother. You do not let him go over to their house until you get to the bottom of this, unless you are there to supervise. You take your son to a psychiatrist who specializes in these types of things and try to determine what's going on. It could have happened, OR, it could be that since you've asked your son in the past if your brother touched him, THAT YOU and YOUR paranoia planted a seed....although given what he did to your Mother, something seems a bit odd about his behavior....you need to take your son to a specialist and protect him. Also, you need to make sure that if there is molestation going on, you can rule out your husband or other family members. Wouldn't it be a shame if it ended up getting blamed on the wrong person, and then your son was not protected when he needed it most?

Answer 4

Point blank something happioned. I would suggest that you not go gun hoe on your brother. Just becouse he is gay dosent mean that he touched your son (gay dose not equal pedifile) But your brother may be responsible. Find out if he has any porn around that you son could have found. One thing dose not make sence to me. If he was molested by a man (a gay man) why did he go for the breast frist? That is why I would find out what kind of porn your brother might have. Also find out if there is a child advocate near you and set an appointment. It is likely that your son will not tell you what happioned but they have diffrent game that can bring out the truth.

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 5

Your son is not going to tell you. the way that your mom reacted to him showed him that it was a wrong thing(good) but it translated to him that it was bad and that it was his fault. That you would be mad at him for doing, so he isn't going to open up to you. Sorry. the best bet is to take him to a child physiologist. It may take some time for your son to trust them, but if he was molested he will tell them hopefully. BTW the most likely reason he said it was your brother is that your mom asked if it was his uncle. "Did uncle _____ teach you that?" It is a leading question for a child. It gives them an answer. Just be careful and get started helping to figure out what all this is about.

Answer 6

They say most things like that come from close friends or family members. Keep a close eye on your child and don't let anyone alone wiht him again. Take him to the doctor and see if he has any other signs of abuse. See if the doctor might have some advise on how to proceed. You must protect your baby even if it is from someone in your own family. Good luck to you and your son in working through this.

Answer 7

Take him to a specialist and let them do what they do. In the mean time do not take him back to your mothers house. Maybe ask your mom if she thinks your brother was molested as a child.

Answer 8

to know the real truth get ur son checked by a doctor, cuz he is very young n confused to understand the situation, plus ur bro is gay there might be a possibilty that he done it, esp. that he is crying, he might be crying cuz he regreted doing something like that to ur son. the people closer to you give u bigger suprises . fondling the breast , i heard that it is when the child needs more love, if u breast fed him he remembers the breast, my baby cousin did that to her mom every time. or maybe it is nothing to worry about.
if u deeply do not trust ur bro. do not let ur son. near him, he is GAY!

Answer 9

I'd say, you're son was more than curious. Your mom did let it go a little too far...she should have corrected him the minute he fondled her breasts. And then she should explain to him that that is her private areas and so forth...Then not do anything else...no accusations to anyone. She should not have just gone straight to you and explained everything to you in full and let you take charge on what you wanted to do. But first...she should not have let him go further without correcting him. The child sounds like he just needs to be talked to about private areas.

Answer 10

when your mother asked if your son learned to feel people from your brother, she gave your son an idea for an answer....

kids will give an answer, when they don't really have one. and if someone gives them an "idea", well they tend to use it!

i hope it all works out...

take care.