I think that my girlfriend who's widowed, is lying how can I know?

Question

I've started to get confused and concerned that this "widow" I'm seeing may not be after all.... I met her online and we seem to hit it off great. She's a nurse and I find her very attractive. She says that she's in love with me. On Friday we had incredible sex. And she was very tight since she said that her late husband was sick for the last four years and they could not have sex. And that he died seven months ago of complications from diabetes. But over the weekend and the last couple days things seemed to have cooled. She went out with "friends" and seems to be busy when I want to see her. I took her flowers to her work last night, but she was home with a migraine. This morning I got wondering so I tried to look up her dead hubby's obituary, and found no results at all. So I did a phone search and found their listing is still the same.
So I'm wondering if she is truly a widow or just a cheating wife? Can anyone advise me on how to find out, or what I signs should look for?

Answer 1

If he died 7 months ago, maybe she just hasn't told the phone company yet and asked them to remove his name. Also, even if she DID - those phone listings you find on the internet are NEVER completely up to date. I just looked myself up on a few of them - and addresses and phone numbers that I haven't lived at or #'s that haven't been mine are STILL showing up from years and years ago. If anyone was trying to find me - they'd have a heck of a time with all my old addresses and phone numbers. Of course my current phone number is no where to be found on the internet - so - once something gets onto these "Online Phone Directories" - I don't think it get's deleted, even if you die. My grandfather passed in 2002 and his address and phone number are still coming up.

I think you are being insecure and jumping to conclusions. Just because she went out with friends and things "cooled down with you" after you guys had sex - maybe she needs space. She might be feeling bad because now that's she's slept with you, she doesn't have he comfort of knowing her dear, deceased husband was the last man she was intimate with. It might have been "too soon" for her to do something like this - and even though he's gone, she might feel like she has cheated on him. (I think most people wait a year) You have to remember - it's only been 7 months! It takes more than 7 months to heal from a break-up - there's no WAY she's over her husband's death in just 7months - I don't care how sick he was.

But, you do your best to move on, and sometimes you backslide on your progress and just want to indulge yourself in being alone with your grief. But no one is going to tell you that. That's very private. She's probably not going to tell you after you've slept together that she's still mouring over the death of her husband. Not unless you ask her, I'll address that at end of this posting, but please read the rest of this advice first.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you just lost your wife 7 months ago, and you were trying to move on with your life, so you could fool everyone into thinking you are O.K. and if you were trying to start a new relationship with you for whatever reason: "To help you recover from your sadness" or "Just so people stop feeling sorry for me because my husband died and now I'm alone". You would be the only person who knows how you feel - and those are VERY PRIVATE feelings that you certainly would not want to discuss with anyone, especially your new lover who might feel like they are being used.

Not everyone puts an obituary in the paper. Especially after what I told you about once it's on the net - it stays on the net. A lot of people are very private and especially if someone is left a "widow" - having that information posted on the internet with all that personal information about her name and the names of any kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids, etc.. and she's living by herself now - I wouldn't want that infomation out there if I was her. There are a lot of nut jobs out there. And her phone is listed.... She was probably worried about internet sicko's calling her and saying they were a good friend of her husband, they knew him from _______ and he always talked about her ______ and their kids ______ and _____. they'd have all that information from the obituary. So - forget it! Who needs that? When someone dies, there is another way to let people know: you call the people you want to know.

What I think happened, is she's not done mourning yet. I think she thinks she might have jumped into a relationship with you too soon, when she's still missing and loving her departed husband, and sleeping with you made her realise that. How many times have 2 people slept together, only to wake up the next day and say: "That was a mistake!" Quite a lot. Give her space. Don't assume she's a cheating wife. That's horrible to think that. If you already don't trust her - I think this relationship is just doomed. It's doomed because you don't trust her and your assuming the worst without hearing her side or asking her what's she REALLY feeling? And it's doomed because it was just too soon after her husband passed.

Sorry, but, there is so much pressure on people today to be "Happy" and "Positive" that people will pretend to be all those things because thats what's expected of them. Its Keeping Up Appearances. And then they don't get a chance to go through the natural healing process which takes months, even years to go through. Trying to act like you're "ok" before you really and truly are is never a good thing. And in the future - keep that in mind, that break-ups, divorces and deaths of spouses take a lot of time for healing and if someone jumps into a relationship with you very quickly after one of these - you are just the "rebound" guy - the guy they are using to try to get over the other person. Now you know that lesson for the future.

If you want a snowball's chance in heck to make this relationship work - take the insight I just gave you and ask her: "Listen, do you feel bad about being with me? Are you having regrets? Thinking it was too soon? You can tell me. I just want to know what's going on so I know if it's something I did or if you just think it was too soon to start another relationship."

Good Luck!

Answer 2

that's all context:............ a sixteen 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old dating a 26 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old is going to enhance eyebrows. a 26 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old dating a 36 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old continues to be going to look ordinary. a 30 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old dating a 40 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old is in all probability a splash extra suited. I comprehend WHY a girl ought to choose directly to this factor an older guy inspite of the indisputable fact that. It has a tendency to be that adult males do no longer mature as early as ladies do, so an older guy has a number of of attraction. He is familiar with some thing concerning to the way the international works, knows women, and is many times going to be a extra exciting, nicely rounded guy than a baby clean out of high school who thinks he's familiar with each and every thing, and acts great cocky using fact of that. The youthful guy is many times no longer purely much less exciting, yet he's thoroughly unaware of that fact. that's not only adult males. i've got observed that maximum youthful ladies (say early 20s) are uninteresting... they only have not prolonged their horizons sufficient yet, to be waiting to hold a stable exciting communique. effective, they're alluring, yet that isn't be the stuff that a stable dating is created from. of path all that creates a dynamic the place the older guy or woman interior the dating is in all probability only going to apply the extra youthful one as a "toy," so which you will chat. somebody to have relaxing with for a whilst, till they're bored, and then they pass on. Now, sometimes, you will locate some thing distinctive, using fact no 2 human beings, and consequently, no 2 relationships, are alike. and that i do no longer opt to diminish fee the possibility of extra. i'm purely generalizing. of path, in case you opt to envision why human beings ask your self approximately this variety of dating, it somewhat is precisely the attitude you would be able to desire to take. using fact, they too, are purely generalizing...

Answer 3

this is tough I can't help you out here, but you are off to the right start, looking up obituaries and stuff, I think there is a way to go to the pubic health office and look up a death certificate, but I'm not sure, maybe ask around, like her co-workers and stuff, she may be lying to you, her husband might be really sick or something. She also could have fealt guilty for what she did, even though her husband is dead. Guilt can really get to a woman

Answer 4

If you want to spend the money do a background check. It sounds like she was just busy. Of course she could be lying and role playing because she's bored. Don't follow her around or anything but you definitely find out if she was married.
Just because she was tight, that means nothing. Ever heard of keigle (SP?)muscles?

Answer 5

Go to her house in the evening. See who's home. Or surprise her with bagels on Sat. morning, see who's home. Also check out your counties web site. Under Deeds, I know ours shows the death certificate.

Answer 6

The ring on her finger should give her away :)
most ppl wouldn't change the listing she still has the last name, widow or not, he died not her...

Answer 7

When you ask her a Question,look into her eyes and see if you see the nervousness in her eyes.also,watch and see if she stumbles on an answer.one more thing,if she usually looks you in the eyes when talking,and she doesnt when you ask her an important question,then shes lying.

Answer 8

ASK HER!!! First of all if things were great... you had sex.. and now shes not around.. then she is probably over it. Whether she is married, widow, or whatever, ask her.

Answer 9

Have a female friend call and ask for Mr. Whatshisname. That might give you your answer.

Answer 10

Could be a cheating wife or she was disappointed in you
for some reason..