I've been with my fiance for 2 yrs and we are to be married in Nov. I love him with all my heart and I'm happy with him. There's just one slight problem. At times, I wonder if he's cheating on me or looking for another woman or even looking at things I don't approve of on the internet. The catcher is, I have no reason not to trust him. He's never done anything wrong or to hurt me. I know he cares and loves me very much and would do anything for me. I seem to get mad or upset when I see him doing things or suspect he might be doing things I don't approve of. It got really bad on my part when his sister got him a myspace page. He usually only gets on his page every other day and then only for a few minutes. I don't see how he'd have time to talk to other people on there. He usually doesn't go anywhere without me.If I see he's on myspace I get upset (jealous) maybe and wonder what he could be doing. I have been cheated on in past relationships. I want this marriage to work. Any advise?
2007-03-13 06:13:00 · 13 answers · asked by Bubbles 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi Bubbles, it's bubbles!!
Hmmm.... for me I always think that if something is making your think that... then something is wrong. But your suggesting it might be you due to past relationships. I think maybe if your up to it, you might want to talk to a counselor about it. Sounds like you might need to get your issues figured out and then start working as a team. I personally have the porn fight with my fi due to the fact he down loaded a whole bunch of virus on my computer!!! I told him to go buy a magazine and stay off the Internet!
2007-03-13 06:22:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me, this may be a bit long but it's VERY important.
Don't let YOUR past define HIS actions.
You've got a slightly clouded definition of "a cheater". Cheating is a PHYSICAL action like kissing. Even (dirty) chatting online is make believe.
He's GOING to look. When someone falls in love there is not a big magic spell that makes everyone else on the planet unattractive. Looking at "things" on the net is NORMAL. Think of this...Out of everything he looks at on the net, he has chosen you to be with. It's merely a guy thing.
I've posted this reasoning before...
>Put your hand in a bowl of water, make a TIGHT fist, pull your hand out, now open it.
>Now, put your hand back in the bowl, GENTLY cup your hand, lift slowly
>>>Which one allowed you to hold on to what you wanted?
I'm a victim of this very same parable. So...I know exactly what can happen.
Also...
To guys, women are like cars…
We admire them as they pass by. We'll look at different models on the web or magazines. We imagine what it would be like driving others. We’ll go to “shows” to see many different models. We even sometimes miss the good times and bad of previous ones. Some even pay money to test drive others (eww). We will even look at “upgrades” but we will NEVER give up or replace the one that we have and love.
2007-03-13 06:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If you want this to work. Delay the wedding. For as long as it takes to recieve the feeling of Trust.
If your feeling this way, nothing is wrong with you, it , instead, is a sign that you need more time.
And if He Loves you, and You love Him, You shall not be afraid to delay getting married.
Love is patience.
However , if you allow Fear to rule , fear that if you delay the wedding, this will happpen or that will happen......
Then you are doing the complete opposite of Love.
Truth is light.
By delaying the wedding for as long as you need to, even if it s another year or two years or ,longer. , by delaying it, time will reveal Truth to your heart. And will erase the jelous fear of mistrust you have .
For, either He will stay with you no matter how long it takes , or he will not.
Truth will reveal. The longer he stay s with you without getting married, The more proof will be provided to your heart.
and if he leaves, then proof that he was Not to be trusted shall be revealed.
Give in to fear and get married, OR give in to Love and delay the marriage for True Love.
You decide.
2007-03-13 06:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by Aaron M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say this, but you sound too immature to be a wife. Marriage is about trust, commitment, sacrifice, devotion-- not petty imagined jealousy. And I don't know any married couples who are keep a myspace page- isn't that for teenagers?
Both of you would benefit from premarital counseling, or possibly some individual counseling for yourself if you're obsessed with him cheating on you.
2007-03-13 06:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is the most improtant thing in a relationship. Obviously there is a problem with your trust in him or something is going on. Before you get married you two should go to counseling together, if he won't go with you go alone. It sounds like you may have trust issuse due to being hurt in the past. lol Hope it all works out.
2007-03-13 11:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with your feelings on this seriously with him. You are going into this with a really bad attitude, and you have to snap out of this if there is truly nothing to worry about. You could totally ruin the relationship and your chances at happiness. Talk to your mom or an auntie, too.
2007-03-13 09:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your head straight. How would you feel if he ended the relationship with you because he THOUGHT you were cheating? Now you know how he feels everyday. You love this man yet you blame him for the things other men have done to you. You need to start being thankful for his patience. You need to start treating him with alot more respect. Only when you catch him red-handed should you behave this way.
2007-03-13 08:41:46 · answer #7 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because there is something about him that doesnt strike you right. You have a question about him that needs to be answered? Has he ever cheated on another in the past? If so what made him do it, and what are the chances that he'll do it again?
2007-03-13 07:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by MarieApricot 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your past is haunting you. Your main man hasn't done anything wrong or suspicious, so you must get beyond this and let it go. I think every woman has the same worries but I remember when I got married, they all dissipated. Focus on planning the wedding and having fun.
2007-03-13 07:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MY ADVICE TO YOU IS DONT LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE JEALOUS. BUT CONTINUE TO BE OBSERVANT. DONT EVER FEEL SO SECURE THAT YOU FALL INTO THE TRAP OF "OH HE'LL NEVER CHEAT ON ME". I DID THAT AND HE LATER SLIPPED UP AND I CAUGHT HIM. MY ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT I BLEW UP RIGHT THEN AND THERE AND WE SPLIT FOR A WHILE. WE WERE MARRIED FOR 21 YEARS WHEN THIS HAPPENED WITH TWO CHILDREN. WE ARE NOW MORE HAPPY THAN EVER FOR THE TIME BEING. BUT HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN LOOK AT OUR COMPUTER LET ALONE TOUCH IT. SET SOME GROUND RULES BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. THAT MIGHT HELP
2007-03-13 06:26:20 · answer #10 · answered by TS 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋