My best friend and her ex just broke up about a month ago. She just found out last week that she's two months pregnant with twins. She is physically not supposed to be able to have children. Her doctor is baffled. The ex was fine knowing that she was pregnant until he found out it was twins and ever since has been telling her that he doesn't want her to have them and that he doesn't want anything to do with her or the babies. They have still been friends up to this point.
I just think that she's been given a wonderful opportunity that she never thought she'd have. I don't want her to have an abortion, but that's what she says she's going to do. The really sad thing is that she said if it was just one baby that she'd keep it. Right now one of the babies is weak and prob wouldn't make it anyway.
What should I do or say to her? I love her and will support whatever decision she makes, but I don't think she should terminate her pregnancy.
What do y'all think?? (she's 27, he's 31)
2007-03-13 06:10:00 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have told her I'll be there no matter what and that I will help in any way. I know she's scared. I KNOW she'll regret it later. She already has had some emotional probs in the past & I think this will make it worse.
2007-03-13 06:22:38 · update #1
Your friend is probably really scared and baffled too.
I am a person who is very against abortion for any reason, but I can understand your friend being frightened. The problem with abortion though is that women think they are taking the easy way out of a seemingly bad situation. But I am afraid that the majority of women very much regret the abortion later on and find themselves in severe emotional termoil and no better off at all.
If I were you, I would tell my friend to keep her children and love them, raise them, and tell the fellow who would rather they be murdered, exterminated, thrown away, that he is a useless piece of trash.
What would he do with her if he could? Let your friend know that she will have support from you and all who love her.
2007-03-13 06:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by Many Moons 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you call an adoption agency? They are ready with couselors to help her sort things out. They will handle any medical issues she may have as well. Look at it as an "option"...she does not have to make the decision right away, but I think based on her docs saying it 's a miracle, and the fact that even one baby is a miracle, two is twice the blessing. She is thinking of "herself" based on her loser boyfriend deserting her. You are a good friend, keep up the good work and support. She'll be fine, let her know that, and let her know, you'll be there for the next 9 months and beyond. Also, a lot of adoptions now are "open", meaning, she may be able to remain in contact with her kids through the adoptive couple or agency as they grow.
2007-03-14 06:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well your such a good friend for being so concerened, and I do agree with you to a point, it is a miracle that she conceived, however, she probably doesn't see it that way if she just broke up with the daddy. That's a really sad situation. They are probably looking at like 2 would be to hard, that's probably why she has the "I'd keep one" attitude. I would stick by her side, she needs to figure out what is the smartest move for her and her new family to make. That's going to effect the child if there's no daddy, she's probably really scared. I know you'd love to voie your opinion - it would be hard, i'm 100% against abortion, but this is her life, she is pregnant, God gave her those babies for a reason. I know she broke up with her man, but she needs to think of them first. Just stand by her side your doing great sweety.
2007-03-13 13:21:06 · answer #3 · answered by Rebekkah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that having twins is a great blessing and its not right of him to act the way he is about it.
She should keep the babies. She will be so hurt afterwards if she gives them up. Having twins insures that both babies will never be alone and its a great gift to have.
I broke up with my ex a month ago too and he doesnt want anything to do with the baby if its a girl but if its a boy he wants to take it from him. (He is werid). I know kind of what she is going though. I wish I was having twins but as far as I know I'm only having one.
I wish her the best of luck and hope she will keep them. They would be the best thing to happen to her.
2007-03-13 13:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by halfdemonrenilia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has been told that she can never have children and she is pregnant then I would keep it...this oppurtunity may never come about again, and she may regret the abortion. as far as he is concerned whether or not eh wants to he will be financially responsible for those babies till tehy are 18. If I was her...I would think long and hard about aborting as the chance may never happen again.
2007-03-13 13:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that this may be her only chance, and that abortion can lessen your chances of becoming pregnant, so if that is all ready an issue then this will add on to it.
Tell her those things, and then tell her what you said about always being there for her. And if she decides to have the abortion do not rub it in later. This is the most important decision of her life....Just be a good friend, which it sounds like you all ready are.
Good luck to you both.
2007-03-13 13:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by Should be Working! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you cannot be supportive of her aborting her unborn children. She is an adult and needs to take responsibility! It doesn't matter if her ex believes that abortion is the answer, it is still murder.
You can still show your support in caring for the children once they are born or give her a shoulder to lean on if she chooses adoption.
2007-03-13 17:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound like a wonderful, supportive friend. Her ex is a cheap, lowlying despicable jerk. She needs to really think this thing through. She doesn't want to regret making the wrong decision. Ultimately she needs to make the decision without her ex being considered. (easier said than done) Be there to support and that's all you can really do.
2007-03-13 15:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all respect, I think a 27 year old person should face life as it is. I'd say abortion was up to her if she was 16 or 17 but 27! ! ! One day or another she will have to face the real world and the consequences for what she does or does'nt do.
2007-03-13 13:30:21 · answer #9 · answered by teban 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are going to hate my answer to this question but here goes. In the end, you have nothing to do in this matter. Ultimately it is up to her and her ex to decide. They are the ones who created these children. You can give your opinion but they will have to sit down and discuss what is best for both of them. The best thing you can do as her best friend is support her in whatever she decides and let her know you love her very much. It is important that she knows that she isn't alone in this trying time.
2007-03-13 13:19:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋