Wedding cold feet..?

Question

I'm getting married on 10.20.07 to the man of my dreams. We've been together for 2 years now and I'm in love with him. However, with the wedding getting closer I'm begining to have second thoughts maybe? There is a lot of "what if's" in my head. Am I jumping the gun with the first person I fell in love with? Am I missing out on anything? I guess it's just cold feet. Is there something wrong with me?

Answer 1

YOu are right all it is is cold feet! Don't you worry, I consider you lucky to have the man of your dreams, and the only people who are missing out are the ones who don't have that! there is nothing wrong with you, it's just part of the uncertainties of life, we don't know the future, or how everything is going to turn out in the end, but you do know that you love this man, and your love seems strong enough to endure a lot. Don't runn away from something most people search their whole lives for! Congratulations!

Answer 2

Congratulations on your upcoming big day!

Questions about the big step you are about to take are natural for most people. I have known of some who never took a backward glance before saying I do, but most people are just cautious enough in their heart of hearts to be a bit more thoughtful.

You are making a committment that should last for a lifetime. It is a responsibility. Sadly, we live in a world that believes that responsibility and committment are dirty words.

You will be making a change in your lifestyle and thought patterns. All of this is GOOD! It means that you are ready to bring a partner into all facets of your adult life.

Perhaps you are concerned that you will 'disappear' within the relationship? If so, let me assure you that won't happen unless you let it happen. Marriage is about 2 people who bring 100% of themselves to the table each day.

Perhaps you are afraid you are settling? Consider this, an old proverb once said that opportunity knocks and no one answered because they were out back looking for four leaf clovers. Just what is supposed to be out there that can be better than the "man of your dreams"?

Can you see yourself doing household chores together, having a family (if that's in the cards), paying the bills together, etc.? That is what day to day marriage is all about.

Go back to that moment when you knew you wanted to marry this man. If you still get that same feeling now as you did then, well, FULL STEAM AHEAD.

I would also advise you to have a private chat with your local clergyman who can help you sort out myth from fact.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Girl, I had cold feet two weeks before my wedding and I told him that I couldn't go through with it. Maybe you need to talk with him and see if he feels the same way. Its IS a big step but you will be okay. My feet were "Cold Feet" on my wedding day. But I did it and it was the best thing that I ever did. I got married at 2:00pm because I couldn't imagine going all day with my nervous stomach having to wait until 7:00 to tie the knot. So maybe if ya'll decided on having a late wedding, move it up so you won't have to go through that long waiting period. Once you say "I do'" all of your worries will be over with. Good luck and Congrats.

Answer 4

Ther is nothing wrong with being a little nervous, but you should listen to what your doubts are. If any of them are about these kinds of themese though, then you shoud think harder:
"is he really the right man for me?",
"Can put up with ___ behavior for the rest of my life?"
"Am I happy with giving up my dream of ___ to make him happy?"
"How can I not feel so neglected?"
"Is it really okay that he say those things/treat me like that?"
"Have I really forgiven the past?"
I am not saying that any of these are a definite deal-breaker, but you should sit down with your fiance and discuss your future. Write out a list of the things that are bothering yoiu and discuss them. Who is in charge of finances, who will stay home with the kids when they are sick? What happens if one of you gets a promotion that involves relocation? Does one career come first? Will you be a stay-at-home Mom? Who deos the chores? All these things are about planning a life, not just a wedding. Getting some answers should help you relax, or make it clear that this won't work.

p.s. I am marrying the first man I fell in love with and I don't feel like I have missed out on anything at all.

Answer 5

It's perfectly normal to be nervous. As long as you don't think you could be happier without him, you are doing the right thing. Also, your age could be a big part of it. If there are things you still want to experience in your life, make sure your partner wants to do those things too. If you have the same goals and plans, you'll be fine. If one of you wants kids right away and the other doesn't, or if one of you wants to save a lot of $$ and the other wants to travel the world, you guys are going to have problems.

Again, perfectly normal to have the jitters, just make sure that's all it is in your own heart and head. No one can answer these questions but you guys. If you really are feeling like this may not be the right move, don't do anything without talking to your fiance. Make sure you don't shut him out!

Answer 6

Its serious evaluation time, talk to each other about the reality of marriage, like where does he stand on helping you around the house, how many kids, where he see you in five years, who pays what bills with who's money, who writes the checks and do you revisit when the kids come. How important savings are to each of you and are your spending habits compatible, and if not who bends more than the other?
If you discuss these things and can work it out then you have nothing to worry about. The 'What Ifs" are what you need to talk about and very sensibly too. Once you know you have more to build a future on than just "oooh that feels sooo goood" and I look so pretty in this dress for that big party, you will feel like you have some grounding and can just enjoy the time.

Answer 7

I felt the saem way, getting cold feet and got sick to my stomach and scared, because your going to be living with someone for the rest of your life, away from your parents (that was a big thing for me).

I remember I felt the same way, it's just from everything going on, but after the ceremony is over and your at your new house opening new presents for your home,... everything falls into place. I would say if you feel very scared, follow your gut and do what your heart says is right-not what everyone else says to do.

*My friends getting married on the same exact day, congrats!!*

Answer 8

I'm getting married on the 24th! Both of us went through the "what if's" really bad last week. I was scared out of my mind. It's my second time, his first. He kept saying to me "I just don't know if its the right thing to do." I finally told him he could second guess till the end of time and not know if its the right thing to do. It's better to decide if getting married is what you want to do. If you don't want to be married in the first place, when tough times come, you won't want to make it through them. Ya gotta want it.

So, no, there's nothing wrong with you. It's a serious commitment and you should be thinking about it seriously. As far as missing out on anything, is there anything in your life you haven't done yet, that you can't still do as a Mrs.? If your worried about missing out on other guys, I'd be more worried about missing out on the man of your dreams.

Congratulations in advance!!

Answer 9

There isn't anything wrong with you. It's a bit of a shock when the "I'm about to be someone's WIFE" sets in. You realize that you can't do some of the things you used to do. You realize that you can't just leave if something goes wrong and you realize that you're giving that person your word that you will love them and only them. It's scary, I know...I've gone through it (still going through it a little) but if you've been together for two years and you love him, it'll all work out baby, just have a little faith.

Answer 10

Be blessed that you have found a man that you have fallen in love with and has fallen in love with you. Weddings always make people jittery, but just try to be calm. That day doesn't have to be all stress and upset, try to be easy going and don't let the small things get to you. Enjoy it. Enjoy every minute with your man. You're not missing anything as long as you are head over heels in love, and can't imagine a day without him in it.
Good luck to you!