Will it get worse?

Question

I have recently been transferred into a foster home with my older brother and younger sister. My bro is only a year older than me,and my sis is 5 years younger than me. My foster mom treats my bro like he's an adult. She let him go bowling with ehr older son, while me and my sis have to go to bed at like 9:30. She's making me go to sleep at 9 even on the weekends. I don't think its fair, but she doesn't care. Will she get worse?

Okay, I'm 15, my bro is 16 (17 in July) and my sis is 9 (10 in May)

Okay, adding more details. My brother aslo gets a lot more freedom, because he gets to drive around after school. He says that he's 'puttin in job applications' but even my foster mom knows he isn't. He can get in a lot of trouble and doesn't care.

Answer 1

I don't think it will get worse. My mother is a foster mom. She lets her kids do what she thinks they are capable of. If you are whining about the rules you won't get anywhere. If you step up to the plate and start acting older she will more than likely treat you as older. Try helping with your sister. Be respectful at all times to everyone in the house. Pitch in before being asked. Make her smile. Don't be envious of your brother, he is a boy and she is trusting him with her son and they are doing guy things. She will watch over you more because you are a girl and she was a girl. There is a big difference even if you don't see it. Try to understand her responsibility to you. She sounds like she cares because she makes rules for you. By the way, I used to go to bed at 9pm all through high school because I did so much at school and home during the day I was wiped out by 9pm. Keep yourself busy and you won't have time to look around and see what others have. Just remember, people who take on foster kids have the kids' best interest in mind. They are your foster PARENTS. Be glad she cares.

Answer 2

As unfair as you may think it is, you were placed there by authorities. As long as you are not being physically harmed you must obey the rules set in place by your foster parent.

Children's Aid is supposed to do regular checks on you. If you are unhappy with the arrangements, you should talk to your aid worker. The aid worker can then talk to your foster care giver and see if a better arrangement can be worked out giving you a little more freedom. Do not lie to the aid worker, they know your background and they know the foster home you are in. Fussing too much can end in your being separated from your siblings.

Until you take care of this through the proper channels you must obey what your foster care giver requires even if you do not like it.

Answer 3

Hang in there sweetie. I imagine if she had an older daughter, you could probably go out like your brother. However, you little sister should probably be in bed by 9 anyway. Ask her to help you find a "Big Sister" through the foster care program. Until then, if you want to talk and don't mind talking with an old 51 year old, I would love to be your friend.

Answer 4

No she will not get worse. It sounds to me like she has some very clear rules in the house. That may not always be fun, but it really is best. That way the good things are done the right way too.... think about that one.
I think you may do the same as your brother next year, if he really is one year older... and then your younger sister will have to wait for 6 years before she can do the same. That is just having strict rules.

Answer 5

It would help sweetie if I knew how old you and you siblings are.My Son is 11 and his bedtime is between 9 and 9:30.My 14 year old Daughters bed time is 10.I can;t tell you if it will get worse or not.Maybe you should try talking to your Foster mom about how you feel.Most parents treat boys and girls differently because they say boys can defend them self better than girls.Keep your chin up and just talk to your foster parents about how you are feeling.

Answer 6

you don't tell us how old you are. it's hard to tell whether its unfair, or if you just *think* its unfair because you're younger. case in point, im 10 years older than my younger brother. when i was 17, he thought it was unfair that i was up till 11, 12 o'clock every night. but i was older. that was the deal. you have to give us some frame of reference. i went to bed at 9:30 till i was like 13 or 14.

Answer 7

Mothers and farthers weather our own natural or not, always seem to be more protective over girls.I think in most cases in the past it was all about, girls can get pregnant and boys cant.But thats not true ,so to speak,if they get a girl pregnant they have their price to pay too.But anyway i think that she is just doing her best for you.If you feel at anytime that she is in the wrong,by being abusive in any way then contact child line.

Answer 8

I think she genuinely cares about you. She wants to keep you out of trouble. As long as she is a nice person please dont be harsh on her as she is providing you with a stable home and I am sure she means well. Why dont you ask her in a very nice way if she minds you going to sleep a little later? Is there anybody else who can speak to her if it is making you that unhappy.

Answer 9

it could be that she is more over-protective of you because you are her daughter. usually, son's get more freedom and plus, he was not going out alone, he is going out with his brother. on the other hand, i think she should have let you tag along with them when they went bowling, i dont see any harm in that....mabye you should speak to her about what is in your mind. the only way to get through any family problem is communication, sit down and speak to your mom about what is on your mind. sometimes, the other person never see's your point of view, so hearing it from you may change her mind.

Answer 10

You have to respect her rules. But can you talk to her? She might think she is doing the right thing, but can you talk honestly with her without acting like a brat and ask her if you can have more freedom and when?