Is it inappropriate for a 7 year old to sleep in his mother's bed?

Question

My 7 year old step-son sleeps in his mother's bed when he stays with her. He is actually expected to sleep with her. We have sent his sleeping bag with him and instructed both him and her that he is NOT to sleep in her bed. She doesn't see a problem with it and therefore allows it. 7 years old, in my opinion, is too old to be sleeping with your parent unless you have had a bed dream or are sick. And even then, there are limitations. Am I off base in thinking that this is a little creepy?

For those of you that think I am the twisted one...this woman gave up full custody of her 4 year old son to her ex-husband for bedroom furniture. We're not talking mother of the year here! She has him one weekend a month and half the time doesn't show up. This was not my idea. My husband has HUGE issues with this. The visitation agreement states that she is to have a separate bed for him to sleep in when he visits or visitation can be denied by the father. Since she lives in a 3 bedroom apartment with her 16 year old son, her 2 brothers and their 4 kids that end of the deal has never been upheld. Techically, she is violating a court ordered agreement and is lucky to have any contact with her son. We are trying to make an unhealthy environment as healthy as possible for our 7 year old for the 2 days a month he HAS to be there!

Answer 1

I don't see anything wrong with it.He may be more comfortabe next to her. My six year old still sleeps with me most of the time. She has her own bed and her own room, but she wants to be with me when its bed time. it more than likely has something to do with fears.

Answer 2

I think it's fine--as long as they are just sleeping together and nothing weird is going on--if they have a normal relationship--it is perfectly okay to sleep in the same bed--your son probably misses his mom--and enjoys sharing some quiet special time with her--it's no big deal--many cultures do this--out of choice and some out of necessity--and those people are not warped, etc..it's just how you look at it--many people would think it is warped to send a young infant--2-3 months old--to sleep in a crib in a room by themselves--they would call this cruel--heartless etc..but for many parents that is the norm--I think it is all about intention--what is the intention here--to pervert or molest your step-son--or just to share some special time with him before he grows up and becomes a man ? He is still a young boy-let him enjoy being one with his mom--he will have plenty of time to be a man later..

Answer 3

I dont see where you said who had custody. The fact is shes his mother, and you have no right to tell his mother he is NOT to sleep in her bed. Your nobody, just daddys new wife. It doesnt matter who has custody of the child if the son wants to sleep with his mom theres nothing wrong with that, when he doesnt he'll tell her so. I think your the sick one, what kind of person are you to think theres something nasty going on between the mom and her child? Get your mind out of the gutter. If the "father" has custody have you ever stopped to think she misses her son and wants to spend as much time as she can with him? Or do you always have your mind in the gutter and trying to control other people? Either way, if hes not complaining you should mind your own business, its not like the boy is 16.

Answer 4

7 year old boy, need to have should sleep in his own bed man. my nephew is 7 he sleep in his own bed.

Of course if the kid is sick or something. Plus if his scare of the lighting or bad dream, then get a sleep-bag for that only.
Tell to sleep on the floor, it's not like you moving out the room when you are sleeping. LOL

Man you need to quite time, between u and you wife. And i can't image having sex in the room with the boy there. LOL
That is not good.

Try to set a limit something like school night sleep in your own bed and weekend can sleep in the parents bedroom floor only.

Well good lucky with you man.




Is it inappropriate for a 7 year old to sleep in his mother's bed?
My 7 year old step-son sleeps in his mother's bed when he stays with her. He is actually expected to sleep with her. We have sent his sleeping bag with him and instructed both him and her that he is NOT to sleep in her bed. She doesn't see a problem with it and therefore allows it. 7 years old, in my opinion, is too old to be sleeping with your parent unless you have had a bed dream or are sick. And even then, there are limitations. Am I off base in thinking that this is a little creepy

Answer 5

Now grant it this is only my opinion and Im not a professional. But, yes that is creepy. There is too much sexual abuse on children going around these days. I think unless the child is sick and the parents needs to keep a good check on them then children should not be in the bed with adults. I absolutly would not allow it. I would question this womans motives for making him sleep in the bed with her!!!!!

Answer 6

The poor kid is going to be damaged if you continue to play tug of war with him. If it was me , I would sit down with the boy and ask how he feels about sleeping with mom. Maybe he feels obligated to do this because she is mom, but he should not have to feel this way. If it is a case where he is uncomfortable then you should step in, but if it is just your feelings on it then leave it alone. Rest assured he is not going to want to sleep with mom when he is twelve. So the answer is no unless he is uncomfortable and/or you have reason to believe something else is going on. Little boys love their mothers and it may be nothing more than that. Your little boy and you should be the judge no one else. Good luck.

Answer 7

I slep in my mothers room til i grew to become into approximately 10...11? My son nevertheless sleeps interior an identical mattress as me.... he's 5. i think of there are distinctive techniques of parenting... and a few human beings fell for you to sense gentle while around nudity... My son comes into the bathing room, while im showering or making use of the toleit... He doesnt seem to care, and nor do i.... His father on the different hand is such as you.... I took showers with my mom while i grew to become into youthful... and that i understand some people who took showers with their dad till they have been like 13 NOW i think of that's a sprint overboard! my son knows that we've distinctive physique factors, and that i tell him to no longer STARE- and he doesnt.. he especially lots seems away now... yet i will alter in front of him and he thinks no longer something of it... i think of 7 remains ok- yet in time i think of he will pull removed from this... i dont think of u ought to hardship..

Answer 8

its perfectly normal. whether she is mother of the year of not when her son is with her and in her house and he is safe from harm , its really none of your business what goes on over there.

i am not a big fan of cosleeping but many children sleep with their parents. even though my husband works overnight my son sleeps in his own bed because i prefer he not get used to it.

if its court ordered that they not cosleep, than i guess u have the right deny the visit. but is that really healthy for him? which would cause more damage him sleeping with his mother for 2 days out of the month or he having no contact with her whatsoever?

Answer 9

I think it is fine.
My seven yr old always comes into our room and snuggles up with me. I dread the day when she will feel to old to do so.
Sounds like the mother has a housefull of people. And she just wants to be close to her son while he is still young. If he does not object to this then I don't see a problem. Remember..this is not his own room and not his own house..he may not feel comfortable being anywhere else but with his mom.

Answer 10

thats really more of a personal opinion/decision, if the child feels more comfortable then its okay to a certain degree that, that child is not being abused. but like you said they cant sleep/scared/sick, etc. etc. thats usually more widely accepted by sociaty. But if that child is 15 and sleeping with his/her parent(s) something usually is wrong.

but as a child gets older they should be sleeping in a different bed whether or not in the same room.

Answer 11

You are right on target. I think I'd let mom know if it continues she won't be able to see the child. If you have to go to court about it. There is NEVER a reason it's ok for a child that age to sleep with parents. Even if they have a nightmare, you put them back in their bed and you lay on the floor next to it. Even sick...their bed, and you bring a chair to sit near them. I'm mom to 3.