well im not sure what to do im 24yrs old and i been with my man for 5 years..he is 26... we live together and everything...he's only given me a promise ring this whole time but i want more...he says he doesnt want to have a kid yet or get married or anything cause he feels we are not stable..he says why would he do all that if we r still renting an apt...i guess he want to have a house first or condo and make sure we r financially stable..the thing with me is its been 5 yrs and im not getting any younger and this is something i really want...i want the kid and i want us to get married or at least engaged already....we love eachother unconditionally and that is why im still stickin it out with him but sometimes i feel like he cant give me what i need now and its hurting me...i couldnt think of being with anyone but him let alone have a child with anyonelse...but its like its taking to long for me...i know he has a point and i understand where he is coming from..advice please!!!
2007-03-13 05:21:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think he's given the idea of marriage and children a lot more thought than you realize. He obviously wants to be financially ready for marriage and children before just jumping into it. And frankly, I think that's a wonderful idea. I have two kids, and neither were planned and both of them came before we were married (2 different fathers though...I married my youngest son's father) Given the choice and knowing what I know now, I would of rather planned for my children because they do cause quite a financial burden if you aren't prepared for it.
I think he wants to be able to give you and any future children the best possible life and maybe he feels that that time is not right now. I wouldn't worry about it and don't pressure him. When he's ready, he'll let you know.
2007-03-13 05:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥Mrs SSG B♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should NOT be living together. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free. Trust me, you would be married by now if you never moved in together. He's never going to marry you like this. Move out, get your own apartment. Save some money and possible buy a house, of your own, in a few years. Don't get me wrong, stay in your relationship with him but don't become too dependent upon him. You are young, don't wake up 4 years from now still asking him "When are you going to marry me?" He says he wants a house first......is he preparing for that house, is he saving for it, is he trying to make extra money, is he trying to become stable??......................IF not then he's also not preparing to marry you!
2007-03-13 12:36:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him about it.. see if that is really the only reason why you aren't engaged or anything.
Then just look at a pro-con list.. it sounds corny.. but it will help. Would you rather be with a man you love, but never get married and have a family, or would you rather try to move on, and most likely find another great man to marry, and raise a family with??
Hope that helps. Good luck
2007-03-13 12:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Listen to him, he's smart and he only wants the best for your child. Once you have the baby, the cost of providing for it is astronomical. It definitely makes sense to be financially stable prior to having one. As far as getting engaged, you've been together 5 years, you should get an engagement ring.
2007-03-13 12:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by Your Mom 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
why not give him a deadline? a couple of years perhaps. you're only 24 and you don't qualify as an old maid yet. waiting a bit shouldn't hurt. is he doing something to prepare settling down with you? no one can be too ready for marriage! it's just like getting ready for an exam. you will never ever be ready.
2007-03-13 12:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by still thinkin 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He has no point, he's afraid to get on with life, lay it all on the line and if he loves you, you're getting married, if not, well you're better off without him
2007-03-13 12:33:13 · answer #6 · answered by storyteller 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should wait for some more time.He has a point there.
2007-03-13 12:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by ANU U 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋