Ideas to stop my 6 and 3 year old from sleeping in same bed?

Question

My son just turned 6 the other day. We told him when he turned 6 his sister who is three could no longer sleep with him in the same bed. Both of them are having a horrible time adjusting to both the recent time change and the new rule.
My husband doesn't think it is appropriate for them to still share a bed at this age. I don't think they can even comprehend why it isn't appropriate. I think time will do a good enough job of seperating them later on in life and let them bond now when they can. I support my husbands thoughts becuase he feels so strongly about them. Any help is appreciated.

Answer 1

Same problem - we moved both their beds into the same room, and they grew out of it, went back to their own beds, eventually reached the age where they got sick of each other, and asked for their own rooms back. We didn't make a big deal over it. Every once in a while, if someone was scared, they would crawl into bed with each other for a night or two - which means they didn't wake me and hubby up trying to get into our bed !!(BONUS!!).

Answer 2

You have a fight on your hands. Any time you start a behavior like this it takes time to fix it. They should NEVER have been allowed to sleep together at home. I can understand a hotel while traveling, but not at home. The 6 yo is old enough to understand why it isn't appropriate. Children are brighter than you give them credit for. Explain to him he's a big boy now and needs to have his own bed. You can also tell your daughter she's a big girl and needs to have her own bed. It sounds harsh, but let them know if they break the rule there will be consequences. Bonding isn't about sleeping together. It's about spending time together during the day doing things together. The time change is another thing. I'd put them to bed at the same time and allow them to "read" for 30 minutes, then it's time to sleep. Gives them time to unwind and relax. Be consistant with the bed thing. DON"T GIVE IN. The longer you let it go, the worse the problem will be. I'm mom to 3.

Answer 3

AAAAaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cute. That is so wonderful that your children enjoy sleeping together. It shows a strong bond and I'm sure it is good training for when they have to share a bed when they get married. What a shame your husband doesn't share your views on time being what's needed to separate them. Congratulations though on supporting your husband's decisions regardless of how you feel. That is commendable.

As far as separating them now, my first reaction is for your husband to share the bed with your 6yr old so that your son doesn't feel like he's missing out. Or if the issue is more with your daughter, then perhaps you could sleep with her for a time. The other option may be to just push two single beds together and slowly separate them over time? Or use a trundle bed or just have them share the room and not the bed? Of course, there's always the cold turkey approach (known as controlled crying with babies), where you just separate them, let them grieve over the separation and them move on. (I personally don't like this option).

Could you buy them both a big rag doll each as a substitute? Or even one of those extra long pillows so they have the sense that they are sharing the bed even if they aren't.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I think your husband is silly, personally. I wonder why he is so determined about it?
Your children will just have to get used to it. I would let them read a story together, in the same bed, if that's okay, and then when the story if over, brush the teeth and tuck them into their own beds. And tell them not to climb out. I wouldn't even mention the "don't sleep together thing" - that's just too complicated when they have no notion of why it is supposed to be so wrong.

Answer 5

Why dont you at first get them separate beds in the same room, so they dont feel so alone and eventually maybe let them lay down together and move them later or set a time limit a half an hour or so.

Answer 6

I agree with your husband. They are too old to be sleeping in the same bed. In my state, it is illegal for children of the opposite sex to share a room after age 6. Why don't you sit them down and tell them it's time to sleep in their own beds. Take them to Walmart or Target and let them pick out a new blanket and pillow for their beds (they have bright colored, fuzzy, character pillows and blankets).

Answer 7

parenting children is a expandable subject. your husband just may be worried as the boy develops it may cause an uneasiness with your girl. As long as they understand one another is different and they have different body parts and understand that neither is to touch those parts i don't see nothing wrong. I have a 10 and 8 year old and they don't sleep in the same bed every night but they do on the weekends when they're more relaxed from school pressures and even sometimes take baths together with younger siblings that are boys.

Answer 8

It is not a big deal at this age--really--they are too young--but something you can do if you can afford it--you can get a bunk bed--and that will put them in separte beds but keep them in the same room..later you can get them separate furniture sets..and tehy can create their own room environments etc..but bunkbeds will have them feeling like they are together while they are apart--personally I think having them in the same bed is cute--they will develop closer bonds and be better friends...but--if your husband is pressuring you I understand...good luck...

Answer 9

Try buying bunk beds let one sleep on top one on the bottom, if they must share the same room. This way they will still be able to sleep 'together' yet apart. When possible it is best to have their own rooms, however, its not always possible.

Answer 10

You are going to make things hard on them unless you teach them appropriate lines. A brother and sister should not be sleeping together. I would think that is very obvious. I don't think there is much you can do other than stick to you guns and just make them get used to it.