Bank, Tax, Credit Card info just to be noisy & curious. Not that i didn't trust her cause I've been with her a year & she hasn't been anything but nice to me. I found on one of her credit card statement a charge to a sex motel. It really upset me & i didn't know what to do. Because, one, if i mention it to her, she will know i was being dishonest with her & going behind her back & looking at her stuff & 2, i would be questioning that i don't trust her. In any event, knowing the consequences, last night I told her what I did. She was really hurt & said she didn't even know me. And that charge, she had was for a friend to stay at the motel & it was like 2 months before we started going out. Which I totally believe her. I really don't know what to do & have been beating myself up all day & i know she is really hurt by this. Any advice???
2007-03-13 05:19:43 · 16 answers · asked by mjc061 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just need to add something: I did know the date on the credit card & it did say the name of the motel & it is a "lovers" motel. I wasn't going out with her but I was talking to her & i shouldn't care either way but it bothered me.
2007-03-13 05:39:38 · update #1
1 do not go through peoples stuff
2 do not go through peoples stuff
3 do not go through peoples stuff
4 if you do never ner let them know you did
2007-03-13 05:23:30 · answer #1 · answered by Haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to return the degree of trust you two shared prior to your snooping. If you two live separate and you snooped at her house it can be a deal breaker. If you live together under the same roof you should never take with you those things you do not want to share with your partner and is not a deal breaker but everyone should have some degree of privacy. A purse and a wallet are private and if you feel you need to snoop, there is definately a large lack of trust in your relationship.
Before you spilled your guts about your snoop you should have taken the snoop all the way by checking all the dates and etc. Anything that was referred to there that was older than your relationship had no business being brought up because you were "hurt". It doesn't matter if you totally believe her or not...it's simply none of your business.
I do want to commend you for coming clean about this...it takes a very big man or woman to admit to their breech of trust. You should not have to point out anything other than you will next time ask first and how sorry you are your head was up your butt and lack of oxygen made you stupid. If she doesn't tell you to get lost you should have a meeting of the minds on what is and is not open about your lives. If this is a committed relationship most couples believe you must live your life as an open book to your partner. If you or your partner are not willing to open your lives completely there is little hope for this union to succeed.
2007-03-13 12:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, you screwed up. In the first place, you shouldn't have snooped at all. The problem with snooping is that you'll find something that makes you suspicious, but the truth is usually very innocent. But in the end, it makes you look like you don't trust her. She thinks you don't trust her, and now she doesn't trust you. You have to work hard to gain her trust again. You made a big mistake, and it'll take some time to regain her trust.
2007-03-13 12:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Enceladus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, thats a serious situation....you should never snoop into peoples private affairs, but believe me when i say i know your curiosity. just tell her you know you were wrong and it will never happen again and make sure it doesnt. as far as the sex motel thing she probably is telling the truth, but if you feel like she isnt then maybe you and her should sit down and talk about the trust issues you will be facing, cause obviously she doesnt trust you now.
2007-03-13 12:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by yayasmamma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i really don't know where to start if you trust her why did you go threw her things? thats the question you should be asking yourself and try talking this out with her that all i can tell you and are you sure that it was for her friend why would you want you friend to stay at a sex hotel? but right now i wouldn't question it because in this situatuion you were wrong but just try to apologize every chance you get and assure her that it won't happen again. good luck sweet heart
2007-03-13 12:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by brown eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you know it was a "sex motel"???
If you saw it on the CC statement, you should've seen the date of the charge
If you're gonna snoop, you really need to be more thorough.
2007-03-13 12:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sot here's a lot of good answers out there, I agree with most of them, better not to snoop around, but then again how else to nkow if she was honest about things? Next time make sure everything is right before you question her, look at dates and stuff, I'd personally talk to her and say I would like us to advance at a new level where we are 100% honest and where we can share details with each other, I'll share mine and you share yours, tell ehr you wanted to get more serious with her and just got curious as to how honest you were with her, if she loves you she'll forgive you and understand and get mroe serious with you. if not well she wasnt worth it!
2007-03-13 12:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by ██████████ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good going! Now she'd be a fool to trust you alone with her things. That is why it's better to leave the past behind you. Now you'll just have to learn your lesson, stop being insecure, and hope she will forgive you for your indiscretion.
2007-03-13 12:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol- I guess you should have seen the date on the card statement and known when it was right? Sorry but Im one that wouldn't believe her so I guess im not the right person to answer this q for you. I wouldn't care if my guy was lookin at my statements- I guess i see it as I dont have anything to hide!
2007-03-13 12:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to the sex motel and make it up to her.... put it on your credit card.
2007-03-13 12:24:41 · answer #10 · answered by brokenheartsyndrome 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to read all my boyfriends stuff, i have all his info and passwords for everything, alot of times i would question him about stuff i thought he was lieing about, he would get mad and say how he couldnt believe that i dont trust him and he would never do anything to hurt me and that he loved me, yada yada yada....turns out he was lieing about everything that i thought he was, so i was right....snooping isnt even how i found out though, he got into a car accident and had to be medivaced to the hopsital, so he gave me his phone and while i was waiting in the waiting room to see him, his phone kept ringing so i answered to let his friends know what happened to him, and they wound up tellin me everything that he was lieing to me about. So you never know...................
2007-03-13 12:27:48 · answer #11 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋