It is definetly time your boyfriend takes control of the situation and puts a stop to this nonsense. If he doesn't take control it will only get worse with time.
Her name may be on the mortgage but it is his (your) house and I'm sure he is making the mortgage payments.This gives her no right to interfere.And........do not even consider putting her name on your bank acct.That would be a great mistake.
He;s gonna have to stop telling her about your plans or anything else for that matter unless they concern her or his family and also that she should call ahead before stopping in.He has to get some backbone as far as his mother is concerned and stand up to her for both your sakes.
Sounds to me as though she is very jealous of you and that she has always controlled his life.You need to sit
down and have a very frank discussion with him and tell him how you feel.If you don't do that now you will be headed for disaster later.He's a big boy and needs to grow up.
I'm sure no girl would measure up to her standards no matter who they would be so don't take this personally.
Don't be too pushy.Just calmly explain how you feel so he doesn't think he's backed up against a wall.The two of you can work this out in a rational manner since you get along so well.
Encourage him and stand by him.I wish you both the best.
2007-03-13 07:02:04
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answer #1
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answered by sonnyboy 6
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Your boyfriend needs to deal with his mother. There is nothing you can say or do that will make this any better. In fact if you get in the middle all you will do is make things worse. Because you'll be the next target!!
Who's name is on the mortgage and/or title? If it is his, then he needs to stand up to his mother. If it's hers, he should either get it changed or quit doing anything with his own money to improve it. If he doesn't stand up to her now, he never will and you'll have to learn how to work/live around her. You need to decide weather or not you want to fight her all the time or find some kind of harmony....
It's a tough situation for you both, but you don't wan to get in the middle of this one trust me. Good luck!
2007-03-13 05:22:38
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answer #2
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answered by Barbiq 6
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You've got to have a serious sit down w/ him in a nice manner. Could the house really be hers and he has lied? Moms can forget that when their babies grow up that they can function in the "real" world w/out the help of mommy. When he understands how you feel call her over for dinner and discuss it as lightly as you both can so she knows but don't humiate her about it as she did give birth to this man and deserves a polite nature unless of course she gets irrate and loud and then you have to both stand up and tell her that you two love each other & that you don't need her advice and if you ever do, you'll ask!
2007-03-13 05:28:34
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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This is just going to get worse if not nipped in the bud now. Your fiance MUST talk to his mom and tell her that she entered into a business deal with him by purchasing the house but that it is his home and she needs to step aside and let him rennovate it. Perhaps he also should stop telling her things ahead of time. He needs to tell her that she needs to call before coming over. As a last resort, he may have to sell his half of the home and move to another home without his mother's financial assistance. Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:24:24
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answer #4
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answered by Santa's Elf 4
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i was gonna say practice telling her "you are entitled to your opinion" then do whatever you want
i often feel like that since I live in my wife's apartment in her sort of father in law's house
my wife earns almost all the money and doesn't share, I have only $1 a day for myself to spend after I pay my debts and my share of household stuff. The landlord father in law controls the whole yard so I can't do any hobbies like blacksmithing or growing plants like I want too. Also he is mean and in our business all the time. Telling where to park on the street and otherwise harrassing me.
I heard the Y has rooms for like $200 a month and am considering that.
2007-03-13 05:15:44
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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This is a simple one, tell your boyfriend; " I am not living in your mothers house". If he wants to save his money to build his mothers house, it is his choice. You need to decide that you will live elsewhere.
If the choice is his mothers house or the highway, BELIEVE ME THE HIGHWAY is a better place. This man can do a LOT BETTER THAN YOU: LET HIM. I am sure, from the way you have explained it; he or you will have to voice an objection to his mother, to get her to stop what she is doing.
JUST remember, if a man does not choose the woman that may be his future wife; THE MAN IS NOT WORTHY OF THE WOMAN.
2007-03-13 05:22:02
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answer #6
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answered by whatevit 5
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You have been together for less than a year and I think what goes on between him and his mother financially is none of your business. You are not married. His mother has been with him for however many years old he is and she loves him. She loved him before you ever came into the picture and she will love him a long time after you are gone. Its called a mother son relationship. If you ever have a son, you will understand it.
You are a live in, not a wife and his mother knows it.
Also, whether you like it or not, he is bonded with his mother and will stand up for his mom before he will you, so get over it.
2007-03-13 05:15:31
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answer #7
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answered by happydawg 6
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his mom's name is on the house but she doesn't live there, right? get a caller id and don't answer her calls to start with. that saved me on more than one occasion. when she shows up,tell her you're on your way out and leave if it's possible. tell your bf to stop telling her your plans. it only gives her more fuel. when she comes by unannounced and you can't leave, walk out of the room and busy yourself. try not to get into it. not many men will tell their mom's to butt out. they don't want to hurt their feelings. i can understand that. it took my husband years to finally tell his mom to stop. as far as the bank account goes- a simple"no. that isn't going to happen"should be enough. if she pursues it, don't argue. don't say anything. she'll get the hint. since her name is on the title, she has a legal right to some things. see if he'll take her off of it. save some hassle down the road. good luck to you.
2007-03-13 05:32:16
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answer #8
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answered by racer 51 7
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I would leave that guy in a New York Minute. I would have been packed many moons ago. You can't change anyone, not her, and not him either. Especially since the deed is in her name too, you are about as stuck as a girl can get. Bail out now or forever hold your peace. I'd be gone!!
2007-03-13 05:18:05
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answer #9
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answered by ? 6
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her names on the deed sounds like u have a preview to what ur marriage would b like can u see urself living in these conditons 5-10-15-20 years from now and heaven forbid if he passes away she can kick u to the curb and live on ur deck and enjoy ur hot tub i wouldnt let him in my private checking accounts or savings accounts get a good lawyer to protect ur interests or cut and run now
2007-03-13 06:30:21
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answer #10
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answered by mmbmw2000 4
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