The problem is that when I'm really tired and just want to cuddle he gets mad that we are not having sex and won't even sleep in the same room as me. It makes me feel like maybe that's all I am to him, because he only wants to sleep next to me when we have had sex. Should I stay or go?
2007-03-13 04:48:08 · 18 answers · asked by Annie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are planning to marry, you better set some ground rules now before it is too late. You cannot be expected to 'put out' every time he feels like it, that is not fair to you. If you don't set ground rules now you will be in for a long unhappy marriage.
2007-03-13 05:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by Rhonda B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should "go" at this point, but I don't think you should marry him just yet either. He's being very selfish and seems like to me that he's addicted to sex - and that has nothing to do with you or how he may feel about you. Does he watch porn daily or at least 4 days a week, either on the internet, on tv or look at magazines? If so, I think your guy needs some counseling. This couldn't have just happened, there had to be signs leading up to this and the fact that you put it with it in the past, and are now starting to speak up, is the reason he's getting mad. Regardless, to sleep in the other room because you don't feel like having sex is extreme. You should tell him that he must get counseling and if he says no, then yes, I think you'll have to move on. You are not just a vagina, you don't have to be pressured into performing. Good luck.
2007-03-13 12:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him sleep in the other room! If he's this way now what are you/he expecting once you're married? You need to bring this up and talk seriously about it when you're not in the bedroom. The sooner you have this conversation, the better. He needs to realize that just because you are together, he doesn't own you and sex shouldn't be expected whenever he wants it. It is better when it's spontaneous and no so expected. Know also that the frequency be less often after you're married for a while and after you have kids maybe even less. Know that you teach people how to treat you, he needs to know how you feel now. A successful married is built on a foundation of honesty, trust and communication. If he loves you and you love him all will work out. Good Luck! =)
2007-03-13 11:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by DB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he may feel insecure, perhaps afraid if you don't want to have sex that you are rejecting him and that somehow he is not pleasing to you.
From your perspective it sounds like you enjoy your sex life with him and certainly an active one. And from the outside (and from a woman's point of view) this would seem to be enough to please a man.
But men are so much more "sex" oriented for the most part (oh I know that some men are not that way but most are!) than women.
It is important that you address his insecurities and fears in a way that does not threaten him -- because if you say "Joe, I think you are insecure" he is certain to go on the defensive! Talking to him about it, when he is not asking for sex and perhaps suggesting other things to do when you are not feeling as frisky as he is will helop to make sure your fiance feels that you find him sexy and attractive even when you don't want or feel up to having sex.
You could try giving him a sensual massage....or if you have some energy and want to get into other things that are not QUITE "sex" but might help satisfy his appetite.
I wish I had all the answers for ya hun, but men are truly different in the way they think. I hope that this helps some.
Alley
2007-03-13 11:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by alleymarziacat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try talking to him first. Ask him why it is that he gets mad and won't even sleep in the same room as you. Tell him that although you really enjoy being intimate with him, that sometimes you just need to be held, because that lets you know that he loves you for you. Talk to him before you leave, and see if it is worth staying.
2007-03-13 11:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave before your feelings of love fade and you realize, finally, he is a jerk. Dont marry such a self serving person.
You have been way too patient for way too long and I believe you deserve someone better than him. He is using you for sex. He has no other emotion except to obtain sexual gratification from you. If he loves you, he would not behave in the way which makes you feel degraded.
I think you should move on.
2007-03-13 12:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything, you need to have a good talk with him. Tell him your concerns about this, and let him know how you feel about the way that he treats you. If you really are more than just for sex then he should understand you, if not well it's his loss not yours.
2007-03-13 11:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by pbalingit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well no offence but that is kinda crazy having sex over 1 a day. But you should get a new brain
2007-03-13 12:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he's being a jerk. I don't understand why some men are like that. Maybe you need to tell him how you feel, and tell his azz you ain't no sex machine.
2007-03-13 11:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by mona75243 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care about your feelings at all, all he cares about is having sex and I bet he only thinks of himself when he's doing that too. Do you not think you deserve some respect and love?
2007-03-13 11:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋