i have my two kids and his two kids what should i do?

Question

ok so i have two kids one will be three in june and one is almost a year well my boy friend also has two kids he just got full guardianship over both kids well both kids are two months old cause hey are twins well my boyfriend does not know hey to make a bottle and will not change dipers if they have rashes i cant do this by mayself and he always leaves the kids with me for days at a time with out even calling what should i do

Answer 1

How did he get his kids? Did you help with that too? I guess you will have to put your foot down or leave. When I married my husband I had 2 and he had 3 but they were 5yrs and up, in school. He took advantage of me and I put up with it. Now that we are older I resent him for it and he denies it. I wish I had done something about it years ago.

Answer 2

Girl, if I could talk to you in person I would tell you to LEAVE with YOUR kids. I married a man with a kid who is the sole guardian of his daughter. It's a messy situation and I don't have enough time to explain it. I have a very hard time not being sad because I miss alone time with my baby (he just turned a year old). I never got alone time with him because she's always right there. I have a feeling that I will always miss having alone time with my son and future children. I know it's hard to understand now but raising other people's kids is much harder than you would ever think. It's not the feeding them, diaper changes, etc. that is the hard part...it's the emotional part that is very hard to deal with. I would leave him. I think you would be happy that you did. Never settle, girl!

Answer 3

Tell him he NEEDS to step up to the plate and you are not there to just be the babysitter for these kids. Show him how its done and then have him pitch in. Parenting is a two way street.It is teamwork.Why does he leave you with the kids? And why do you put up with it? You will crack under pressure if you do not get the help you need, and worse he is taking advantage of you.

Answer 4

Get rid of the boyfriend. That's not fair to you to have to take on the responsibility of his kids when it's really his responsibility to take care of them. My question is how did he get custody of them if he doesn't even know how to care for them? The most you can do is teach him how to do certain things, but it's not your place to be a parent to them. You are simply HIS girlfriend, not baby's momma. In his eyes you're the glorified babysitter. Kick this loser to the curb and hope that his kids don't go on neglected b/c of his lack of responsibility. If he didn't want kids, then he should've kept his "thing" in his pants! If you take on the care of his 2 kids, then he's not going to help you b/c why should he? He knows you're not going to let those kids go uncared for, so he dumps them on you knowing you've actually got a heart and will take care of them. You're enabling him to be a deadbeat dad and you need to put an end to his laziness.

Answer 5

Wow, i think this is bad, you will have to talk very seriously with your boyfriend, i don't understand how come he got full guardianship, it doesn't seem like he is responsable enougth to do that.
I don't understand how he can leave his kids for days, if he is the person responsable for them, is like he is the mother, he has to take care of them, feed them, and be aware of what happens to them.
If he doesn't know about it, he have to hire someone to do it, but he have to be there for the kids, not once a day but the whole day.
Does he live with you? if he doesn't live with you, does he take the babies with him to home? i don't completely understand the situation, and you don't give us a lot of information, what about their mother, where is she.
I guess if i were you, i would give your boyfriend an ultimatum, you want a partner of life to sharre life, to share days, to share responsabilities as well as fun.
If he cannot be responsable of the kids you can always talk to the mother, and help her to get the guardianship again, or if she is not capable, you can look for someone who can really be responsable of those kids.
I wouldn't be worried about you, your kids or your boyfriend, it seems to me that you can do ok with your kids, as long as you find someone who really respects you.
But i'm worried about those kids, i don't seem there is someone who is really responsable for them!! my god! do something.

Answer 6

Talk to him and let him know you will help in any way you can but that you are not their parent that he is and that he is responsible for them not you. He has to do the job of being the parent and not throwing them off to you just because he wants to go do something else. He should have thought of that before he decided to have kids and get full custody of them.

Answer 7

He is going to have to be willing to learn you will have to explain it to him tell him there is no way you can look after 4 kids by yourself. Making babies is the easy part now you will have to tell him to step up and be a parent. he has guardianship of his kids not you it sounds to me as if he is using you to get out of having to do anything plz talk to him kids need a father who is compleatly involved its not fair for you or the kids

Answer 8

Call child services. He got guardianship, but it seems as though he doesn't really want them. Also, why would he want to take care of them when he's got you to do it? He doesn't sounds like much of a father/boyfriend. If you want to stay with him it's time to start making him pull his own weight and help you out. You shouldn't be expected to do it all on your own.

Answer 9

Goodness. He is your boyfriend?? He leaves for days at a time and doesnt call?? How did this man get custody of his kids? Time for someone to shape up or ship out. Those poor kids.

Answer 10

Call child protection services. He clearly wants nothing to do with them. The twins arent your responsibility. Its one thing to help, but he is taking advantage of your kind heart. Are the twins mom involved? Good luck. Worry about your children.