I always hear people say how having children is a "blessing", and that they have "no regrets," but I want to hear both sides of the story. What are some of the things you secretly resent or regret about having children that I should be aware of before I think about having children of my own?
2007-03-13 04:36:08 · 19 answers · asked by Emily E 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes, you have to become less self-centered and give up a lot of things. You have to grow-up and be an adult which most people seem resistant to for some reason. You have to watch cartoons instead of your TV shows. You no longer go to the movies--you wait for the DVD. You get no sleep whatsoever in the early years. You find yourself doing things you never thought you would do. Having kids is completely and utterly life changing.
You take the good with the bad. BUT you never regret having your children--you just don't. You may regret circumstances but you never regret your kids.
Oh, and you will never know everything before you have kids. People may hand out advice and try to tell you things but you truly never know until you learn it for yourself. Everyone learns as they go along.
2007-03-13 05:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realistically, there is nothing wrong with having regret for a split second or for a brief period of time. I love my children and do feel they are a blessing and are my life 95 % of the time. But, sometimes there is that brief period of time when everyone wishes for a little quiet and maybe some time to be just by yourself or the kids are screaming and you think god I cant do this. Everyone feels that way at one time or another they just wont admit it. As I said my kids are my world, I gave up my career to have them, because this is what I wanted was to be home with my children, and not to ship them off to daycare and have someone else be responsible for them. 95 % of the time I have no regrets and do actually feel blessed and elated.
2007-03-13 12:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by janine b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking honestly here,i got pregnant when i was 15, my blessing was born and when i was 16 i had to grow up over night. Quite a few years on my husband and i are still very happy and now have another on the way. The only regrets i think you can have in a pregnancy is not spending as much on baby number two than you did on number 1, if you do fall prg, best wishes and go mad X
2007-03-13 12:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by prg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my heart I have no regrets...My children are a blessing and truly the best thing that happened. My pocketbook and my 'me time' schedule has a tiny voice of regret--selfish, but honest. The kids happiness and joy far outreach those tiny voices of regret. There are ways to balance all of these things once the babies are here with your family's support, but it's a challenge. I have chosen to put my life on the back burner for at least the first 7 years of my kids' life. So all of our family's discretional income is spent on the kids. All of our family's extra time is spent on the kids. These are choices that I made willingly. People say they would have children when they have more money...yeah well we wouldn't have a population if everyone did that. We can't afford the best of everything, but we do the best that we can. If a 'best' could be made better I would have made it better by spending more time with my husband traveling and dating before kids. I would enjoy my time pampering myself at a spa, with friends or running to Walmart at 3am for no reason. I would talk about seemingly meaningless conflicts that children may bring (i.e. breastfeeding in public, pacifiers, public or private school, discipline methods) and how to deal with them before having children. I would set up more money in a stash.
2007-03-13 12:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Marjery B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only regret I have is that I stopped with one kid. If I had it to do over again, I would have had at least 2. Not too much more work there, so I hear to have 2 compared to one. I love being a parent though, no other regrets from me.
2007-03-13 12:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by mastin_danes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of pious people around here. Of course there are passing moments of regret. Life did take a surprise turn when I got unexpectedly pregnant. I wish I had been more prepared. My husband travels a lot and I quit my rapidly progressing career to stay at home to watch my baby. I do wonder what would have happened to my career. Now after 2 kids I wouldnt exchange this for another life, but at that time I was frustrated ( PPD mostly). Looking back, it seems all very superficial, but yes for the first couple of years, I did have pangs of regret over my career.
2007-03-13 12:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Hopi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No regrets here! I waited thirteen years for my sweetheart and I do not regret anything about it. Yes, there are times when you might feel like ripping hair from your head or you just want to run away and hide, but that is not regretting being a parent. Every parent has bad days and wishes they could just be on their own a little. I think more women regret abortions or simply not having children at all...something for you to think about.
2007-03-13 11:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by JAB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can have regrets. The thing about children is, they really are angels of God. How can you have regrets about that? You just don't understand it until you go through it. There is no way to explain it. Children are a blessing. You teach them everything you know, you give up your social life for them. You give up your career for them. You do whatever you have to do make them happy. All so when they grow up they can go on Oprah and blame every damn problem they have on YOU. And that is children for ya!
2007-03-13 11:41:14 · answer #8 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes children are a blessing, but in disguise. If you are thinking of having children you need to be willing to give up your life for them. That means not going out unless you have a babysitter and money. Accepting the fact that you might be a single parent one day. Difficult to find work due to childcare and discrimination. your body will change ie: stretch marks, saggy boobs (not everyone though) Its not so bad when there babys but when they start infant school wooo your in for a ride! it will be after 9pm by the time you can start your house work. Never mind shave your legs!
2007-03-13 13:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by wonder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No regrets whatsoever - the closest I can come is I wish I had done more traveling before having kids. But that has nothing to do with having them.
2007-03-13 11:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by Lyn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋