Not asking for big diamond-only tiny diamonds in a band. Divorced 34 years so getting married again is a BIG deal for me. Feeling a bit disappointed that fiance doesn't want to spend money on a nicer ring for me. Not sure how to handle.
2007-03-13 04:15:57 · 22 answers · asked by jazziejannieb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would go to the jewelry store and look at some with him and tell him you would rather a band with some diamonds. He loves you so he will want you to have what you want and wont be offended if you show him some alternatives. Just as you are walking through the mall one day go into Kay or Whitehall and take a look together, he may be surprised to see that its pretty affordable for a band like that, maybe he has it in his mind that it would cost thousands of dollars and doesnt know what they really cost.
Good luck! I hope you are very happy, you deserve it!!!
2007-03-13 04:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your fiance really wants a simple ring, and your really want a diamond ring, isn't there a compromise somewhere in there? Discuss it with your fiance- that's what a marriage is all about; communication. Be willing to come down a bit too, perhaps only 1 small diamond, or perhaps a nice diamond ring when you reach that 10 year mark, (the diamond would have more meaning then). Regardless, don't stress over the ring, it's just a hunk of metal. Your marriage is so much more.
2007-03-13 04:26:08 · answer #2 · answered by nonametomention 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him what you want. Be clear and be firm. Say, "Dear, this is a big deal to me. I know you want a simple gold band, and I would not deny you that. But I would like something a little different. I want a wedding band with diamonds. They don't have to be big or flashy, but just a bit of sparkle on a simple band."
I felt the same as you when I got married almost 7 years ago, and ended up wearing a plain gold band for it. I didn't have the words I just typed above. I hated that band, even though I loved him. When we got engaged we went ring shopping eventually he said to me, "I don't care what you want, we are getting simple gold bands." That one moment has been a defining moment in our marriage.
Only now does my husband comprehend what he did wrong so many years ago. This anniversary we both will be exchanging rings again (different rings) in a renewal of vows ceremony, and those plain gold bands are being sold.
2007-03-13 04:49:47 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years ago, I was married for the 2nd time, but this time, I had a big church wedding, the first was very small.
I wanted a huge diamond ring, we were both gainfully employed, we both had homes, careers, so we split the cost of the engagement ring, no one ones, but, I paid half, I wanted a very nice engagement ring, because my first one was not. At that particular point in my life, I was financially able to do it.
You say you only want small diamonds on the band, that is not asking to much, ..sit down and talk, let him know that this is what you truly want...I am sure that he will hear you and honor your wishes. Offer to pay for half the cost of the ring
2007-03-13 04:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Lottalady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a little difficult. When you go for the wedding bands, gravitate over to the diamond wedding bands. Maybe not diamonds all around the band, maybe just on top. Just look at them and fawn over them and tell him that you really had your heart set on a diamond wedding band...explaining that the diamonds don't have to be that big. Tell him it has been so long since you were married, and you had your heart set on this type of wedding band. I think he will relent to make you happy. I just hope he is not a cheapskate. Has he shown frugality in other areas? Hope not. Best of Luck on your wedding.
2007-03-15 11:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would feel the same way =) It doesn't show being selfish or a "gold digger" or anything like that. Simply state how you feel and that it would mean very much to you to have a diamond, nothing gaudy or anything; and see what he says. Let him know that this getting married is a big deal to you and you'd love to have a ring that signifies that (let's face it; anyone can have a gold band). Go at it this way =) Good luck!!
2007-03-13 04:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ring is important, the diamond is not, right. Just wait a year and buy something to accompany it then. I'm sure if there are just tiny diamonds in the band he can be talked into it. I for one like a simple gold band for us older women. The engagement rings are for the brand new brides in my opinion.
2007-03-13 05:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by sharene h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you know what he can afford? Perhaps he cant afford much...you would know? simple wedding bands dont cost much and one with small diamonds in it does cost that much more really. But ask him why not get a little extra frill for your band? Or maybe he wants them to look identical? How is the relationship? Is it good? Are you happy? I wish my guy would give me a piece of string at this point! Just to call me his own! ;) happy nuptuals. peace
2007-03-13 04:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be completely honest, start out as you mean to go on if you don't say anything your always going to feel cheated of something you really wanted, if its the money offer to help pay he may not like this but these day's its acceptable for the bride to help out and this way you both get what you really want, have a great wedding and just be honest with him I'm sure he will understand good luck
2007-03-13 04:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by yah yah sisterhood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all- best wishes to you. Does your fiance know that you want diamonds, and more importantly, can he afford it? If the answer to both of these questions is "yes" then I think you need to tell him exactly how you feel about this. Good luck!
2007-03-13 04:39:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋