For parents of older bi/multiracial children...?

Question

I have two children-ages 4.5 and 13 months. I am caucasian and their daddy is African-American. We are doing the best that we can for them to teach them to love themselves(this so far with our daughter. Our son is obviously still too little)for who they are.
My question is, what kind of issues did/do your older multiracial children have with non-mixed children, if any? And how do you deal with the issues that they have?
I think it's never too early to be prepared.

I am really appreciating EVERYONE's answers so far. They are all really good and insightful. I actually thought Raquel's answer was hilarious. I doubt very highly that she was being serious about teaching my babies to beat people up. (I don't think she deserves the thumbs down.)
Anyways-thank you thank you and keep 'em coming!

Answer 1

My 11 daughter is mixed and quite honestly my daughter has never had an issue. I never defined her as a color-just herself.
When she was younger(4-5) some kids would ask her why her skin was darker than mine and she would say because I am black and white and they would say cool and move on. I live in area that is diverse and I have been lucky enough not to encounter any racist remarks from other children.
Just keep teaching them to love themselves-you will be suprised how accepting people are and if they aren't, your kids don't need that negativity in their lives.

Answer 2

I have three children who are mixed. I am white and my husband African-American and Cherokee Indian. My oldest son who is going to be 13 started Junior High this year. We live in a small town in Massachusetts and you would think that up here people are not so prejudiced but that is not true at all. He has had issues at school with other kids calling him a n*gger, and the teachers not treating him fairly. Racial problems are still around today and children just need to learn that every one is different and special for who they are. They need a real positive image of themselves. Just try every day to tell your children that every one is different and that is what makes the world special. Remind them of how beautiful they are. I also had a lot of explaining to do when my daughter who was 7 heard her brother saying that some one called him a "N*gger" at school and she asked me "Mommy what is a n*gger". That was a hard thing to do. I told her that a long time ago black people were slaves and that is a bad thing that they were called. It can be hard parenting mixed race children. I am not going to lie...but they are the most beautiful children in the world.

Answer 3

My oldest son is mixed - my first husband was black. The worst thing anyone does is stare. Some ask questions, I've noticed a lot of black women give me ugly looks when I'm in public with my son. Some say how gorgeous he is, some ask me if he was adopted. You just learn to ignore it and keep on doing what we are doing. It doesn't matter what other people say, it's how we are as a family - families stick together through thick and thin, no one can tear that apart.

And remember, it's not an issue unless YOU make it an issue.

Answer 4

I know i am not a parent of a bi-racial child however i am very close to my first cousin that does have a bi-racial daughter. I have seen her grow as a baby up until now. She is now in the second grade.

There are no black people that live where they do. We do live in the same county but i live in the city and she is more in the country. However no one has given that child a hard time or pointed out to her that she is black.
My niece never noticed her skin color was different than ours (our family-her mother).. My cousin though has told her about how some people can be mean towards her just for the color of her skin but no one has been not even in school. (If anything has happened she hasn't told her mom)

My niece does not see herself different from anyone else. She is such a loving child. Her mom recently had another baby which was with a white man. No one like gave looks before my cousin had the second child but people look at her weird like because she has a white kid and then a biracial one.

A child is not going to have a problem with theirself for what color they are until some "person" points it out to them. It is not the child's fault for this though it is the parents that are racist that makes it hard on kids like my niece.
I am sorry if i answered because i am not in your place but i just wanted to talk about my cousin and her child.

I have taught my son that everyone is the same. He is 5 years old. You know how when they get in school they have their little girlfriends well my son started liking this girl named Jaden and he come home telling me all about her saying she was so pretty and so on then the next day when he came home some boy in his classroom pointed it out to my son that Jaden was black (my son did not know the difference) and he told me mommy why did that boy say she was black? Mommy she is just brown. I told him all people are the same and to not worry about what other people say.

Answer 5

My best friend is the same as your situation and she experienced racial "issues" with her son, who is the older than their daughter. I remember they would try to teach them to love both aspects of themselves. Well, one day we were (me, my friend, and her 2 kids) in the car and her son said "mom, there's 2 black people in the car and 2 white people in the car." He said that he and I were the blacks and she and his sister were the whites. It was kinda funny because she stopped the car and explained that he was not only black, he was also white. I don't think it has to be a blatant lesson that you have to teach your kids. Just make sure that they see love in the home and when they ask - answer. By the way, they are now 10 & 7 and my best friend and her husband still answer questions. They've not experienced many issues with other races as I think each child's experiences in life will depend on where they are from and the culture around you.

Answer 6

Coming from my point of view (a multi-racial person with mult-racial kids) the best thing you can do is raise your kids to be secure in themselves. Growing up we had heroes who thought and acted like our family did no matter what they looked like. Hence we were exposed to Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Caesar Chavez among so many others early on.

We did discuss race issues and problems that might occur which really helped me have a plan when faced with issues in real life. Unfortunately there are still people out there that judge by the color of one's skin rather than the content of their character but when you know how to deal with them it lessens any hurt they can cause.

The biggest problem I've had is people who don't think I'm "enough". I'm not native American enough because I don't have a census number. I'm not Mexican American enough because I don't speak Spanish. I'm not Norwegian enough or German enough because of my coloring. But that's only by other people's definitions. Because Mom and Dad taught me my own definitions of enough and brought me up to be secure in myself I know that the people who don't think I'm "enough" are the ones who are loosing out.

Answer 7

I am biracial and so is my daughter. The most important things that myparents taught me is that everyone is different and unique. We all look different, from the color of our skin to our hair styles and everything else... No two people are the same... I think we need to be careful when we tell our children that everyone is the same, because it just isn't true

What is true, is that we all deserve to be treated the same. With respect and dignity. We all have he same rights no matter how differently we may look...

Answer 8

I'M WHITE/ITALIAN AND MY HUSBAND IS WHITE/APACHE INDIAN. MOST PEOPLE ASSUME WE ARE MEXICAN. WE HAVE TWO KIDS-MICAH IS 5 AND AVA IS 1. MY SON WAS PLACED IN THE SPANISH CLASS AT SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH IT STATES HIS RACE (RACES) ON THE PAPERS I FILLED OUT. SO FAR, HE HASN'T HAD ANY PROBLEMS FROM OTHER KIDS, IT'S ALWAYS THE ADULTS THAT MAKE COMMENTS. WE TELL OUR SON THAT NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS TO HIM, HE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE MICAH, THE ONE AND ONLY, AND HE'S NO BETTER OR WORSE THAN ANYONE ELSE BC OF HIS MIXED RACE. I ALSO TOLD HIM THAT THE PERSON WHO SAYS THE MEAN THINGS ARE THE UGLIEST OF ALL BC THEY'RE UGLY ON THE INSIDE. MOST OF THE TIME WHEN KIDS MAKE RUDE COMMENTS IT'S BC OF THEIR PARENTS. WE ALL HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TEACHING OUR CHILDREN MORALS AND RESPECT. I'M VERY PROUD OF MICAH FOR GETTING A+ ON HIS REPORT FOR "RESPECTS DIFFERENCES IN OTHERS" AND "RESPECTS THE SPACE AND PROPERTY OF OTHERS" HE'S ON THE RIGHT PATH, BUT IT'S UP TO MY HUSBAND AND I TO MAKE SURE HE FOLLOWS IT.

Answer 9

Teach your children to love who they are on the inside, and that all skin colors and skin types are beautiful.

Many people ask me, "Oh, what is your son? He has a beautiful color." I simply say, "He's American."

Answer 10

just teach them how to beat up other kids so if kids say anything racist to them theyll learn fast that its wrong when your kid pops them in the face. If you dont like it that way then tell them how other kids can be and teach them how to talk to people and figure out why they tease them. Teach them that children who make fun of other people are only that way because they are insecure with themselves.