Three very macho mice are standing around trying to outdo each other. The first mouse says: "You know those little pellets they put out around the house trying to poison us? I love those things. I eat 'em like candy."
The second mouse, not to be outdone says: "Oh yeah? Well, you know those mousetraps they put out to try to catch us? What I do is get on the trap, grab the cheese, and then flip over onto my back, and when the steel bar comes swinging down, I grab it and do bench presses with it."
The third mouse says: "You guys are really a couple of tough mice, and I'd love to keep hangin' out with you here, but I gotta go screw the cat."
Life with a woman is like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love one, you need a diamond to marry one, you need club to beat her, and a spade to bury the b***h!
2007-03-13 04:03:58 · 18 answers · asked by BAM-BAM 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A woman approaches her priest and tells him: "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaims. "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male parrots, whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach you parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman exclaims.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are praying.
When the lady puts her two female parrots in the cage with the two male parrots, her two say: "Hi! We're prostitutes. "
At which one male parrot looks at the other and shouts: "Put the beads away! Our prayers have been answered
2007-03-13 04:06:21 · update #1
they were brill i liked the last one more. got to be honest so i have stared you best laugh in ages going to put it to my phone now and txt my mates lol x this joke is going to cost me a fortune. but worth every penny x
2007-03-13 09:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the middle 1 was average but the other 2 were class
2007-03-13 11:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by blue birds til i die 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! Good ones! 10/10 for each.
2007-03-13 11:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 for the price of 1, like it. here's a star
2007-03-13 11:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by val f1 nutter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one but i put the parrot one one here a few weeks ago and got reported by a god squader good luck!
2007-03-13 11:29:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10 i like em
2007-03-13 11:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like the first one, and the last one. the middle one, well, u can put that where u will need a proctologist to remove it. happy day:)
2007-03-13 11:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a star.
2007-03-13 11:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
nice ones
2007-03-13 11:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool!!
2007-03-13 11:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by Michael b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋