What's the most sexist joke you've ever heard?

Question

What's the most sexist joke you've ever heard?
Sexist, by the way, not sex-i-est.
Example:
Q: How many orgasms can a woman have in one night?
A: Who cares?
Q: Why don't women need watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!
I don't care whether it's about men or women, let's hear it!

I got this question from someone who already asked it but I wanted to see if I could find any other funny ones, so try not to use any of these

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah3LLgwveiftVW6NLOrIJ5bsy6IX?qid=20061214081136AAHQ3mJ

Answer 1

Why are there so many homes for battered women?
Because they just don't f*cking listen!!

How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
When her first words are, "A man once told me....."

Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.

Life with a woman is like a pack of cards:
You need a heart to love one,
You need a diamond to marry one,
You need club to beat her,
And you need a spade to bury the b*tch!

John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't f*ck her."

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Why do men have assholes?
So they won't be total pricks.

The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
What's the most sexist joke you've ever heard?
What's the most sexist joke you've ever heard?
Sexist, by the way, not sex-i-est.
Example:
Q: How many orgasms can a woman have in one night?
A: Who cares?
Q: Why don't women need watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!
I don't care whether it's about men or women,...

Answer 3

Offensive Sexist Jokes

Answer 4

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a TV set?
A: At least the TV has a remote control to switch it off.

Q: If 4 Men take 4 hours to complete a task together, how much time do 4 women need to complete the similar task "together"?
A: Forever

# I sold my wife at Ebay for $112.35 and guess what, I didn't offer money-back guarantee - wasn't that clever?

Q. What is W.I.F.E.?
A: Worries Invited For-ever

Sexist Sam:. What does a good woman do?
Sexist Jimmy: Cook, clean and suck d**k

Answer 5

Q: Why don't women know how to ski?
A: Cause there's no snow in the kitchen.

Q: Why did God create Eve?
A: Cause Adam needed a maid.

Q: Why do women wear a white dress on their weddings?
A: To match the fridge, washing machine, microwave...

Q: How many black men do you need to clean up a kitchen?
A: None, that's what women are for.

Answer 6

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.
He grabs 2 bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees 3 nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how lifelike he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser." To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap. Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice, and three times, but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!"

Answer 7

Man: 'Put your coat on love'

Woman: 'Why? are we going out?'

Man: 'you're not, but I am, and if you put your coat on, i can turn the heating off as there's no point in wasting good energy!

Answer 8

Q. Why do women always wear white on their wedding day?

A. So the dishwasher can match the oven.


Q. How many male shovenists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None--let the dumb braud cook in the dark.

Answer 9

The traveling incense salesman was walking along the dusty road out of New Delhi when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The incense salesman said, " I am a traveling incense salesman and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The salesman said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."

Answer 10

Ha I love the 2nd one, that’s is a keeper (shuts my self up!) Sorry. I like most jokes of any kind, most jokes are like this: the more politically incorrect the better!

Deuteronomy