I am getting married this summer and my sister used to be a wedding coordinator. I have ideas for the wedding and everytime I mention them to her she tries to talk me out of it. She says something like "No, you need to do it this way". Right now she is fight with the bridesmaids because she doesn't like their idea for the shower. And she is livid that they won't put "No kids allowed" on the invitation. What do I do? She is driving me CRAZY!!
2007-03-13 03:35:16 · 22 answers · asked by radawna_23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
just tell her to back off . Tel her that you appreciate her help but she is going overboard . There is only room for one bride and thats you its your day and you want it your way. she should understand , but dont beat around the bush
2007-03-13 03:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by femmegoddess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It won't do you any good to try to "have a talk" about her behavior - you'll just hurt her feelings and make her mad and then you'll end up worse off than before. If she is the maid of honor (you didn't say) she may feel like it's her job to "run" things for you. If she is not then she is just butting in becuase she thinks she knows best. Either way, if she was a wedding coordinator then she knows that the bride gets everything her way - so you can play the bride card. If she starts arguing with you just say "that's the way I want it and I'm the bride so it's my decision." Then change the subject. My advice to you is to just leave her out of the planning as much as you can. Don't involve her in decisions and don't talk to her about the wedding. If she asks about something specific, just say that it's already done or you're still thinking about it. If she presses, say that you don't want to discuss it with her because she doesn't respect your right to make the decisions for your own wedding. That is a non-confrontational way to get your point across. What you can't do is ever tell anyone "I don't care, do it however you want." Those are the areas that turn into huge ugly battlegrounds.
I'm always amazed at how weddings seem to bring out the selfish prima donna in everyone involved and what is supposed to be a happy occassion turns into a stressful mess. Best of luck.
2007-03-13 03:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down! She may have been a coordinator BUT you and your groom are the ones who have the final say in the matter. She could offer ideas, but that's about it.
Tell her to deal with the fact that the bridesmaids won't put "no kids allowed" on the invitations. If she still complains, take over the invitation planning and tell her to zip it.
Stop telling your sister details. YOU organize your wedding how you want to.
2007-03-13 05:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell her, "While I appreciate your wanting to help with my wedding because of your past experience in the field, ultimately this is my wedding and I'd appreciate it if you would allow me to plan things the way I want considering it is my wedding."
If she can't respect you, then you may need to use tough love and tell her that if she doesn't back off, she won't be allowed to partake in any of it.
While that may sound rude, it should cause her to snap out of it and realize she's out of line. If not, then the worse that can happen is that you get your wedding the way you want it and her selfish behavior gets her a ticket to nowhere.
Congrats and I hope you have a fabulous wedding and a fantastic future with your husband!
2007-03-13 03:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a good time to assert yourself and make it known what you want for YOUR wedding. Thank her for her efforts and that you know she wants things to be just right, but also speak up and state 'the final word' on issues that are being debated or simply state you have yet to decide and are still thinking it over. No need to be critical. Just call your own shots.
2007-03-16 14:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by °ĠיִяĿỵ° 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her like it is, I mean if she is this controling and its not even her wedding Ide be like what the **** you know. I would just say you know something this is my wedding not yours I know that I want your help at some points in time but I want this to be a perfect wedding that I want which means that I want my ideas to be in it, if you want something like that then you should get married or remarried or what ever she is doing at the moment. so just tell her like it is if you dont then who will? good luck. and congradulations.
2007-03-13 03:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by meganfortin2003 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her! I would say.... I know you used to be a wedding coordinator, but I would like to plan my own wedding...I would love your help, but you need to let me do it my way...
Hopefully that will work, otherwise, if it doesnt...I would keep any decisions you make secret from her..
2007-03-13 03:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by SupaDupa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok what I would do is sit her down and tell her straight up this is my wedding not urs so I would like to run things my way. Your my sis and I love u but I can't let you take ove like it was ur wedding
2007-03-13 04:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by mzmarie2007 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR wedding. It can be HOWEVER YOU want it...Tell her to butt out even if she gets mad...I had a man telling me what he was going to sing at my wedding once...I told him, forget it, I will choose the music, thank you very much...and he decided he didn't want to sing then...I had no problem with this and got someone else...The guy that wanted to tell me what he was going to sing was my brother-in-law after the wedding...I didn't care because it was my day....as this is yours...Tell her if she wants to take over, for her to do it for her own wedding....I hope you work this out....as this is supposed to be a fun time...Good luck
2007-03-13 03:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that while you love her and appreciate her experience and input, you agree/don't care about whether the invitations have that on there, and that what YOU want is what goes, and your say is final and finite. If YOU would like something on there to discourage your friends from bringing the rest of their family to your shower, you could put something like, "Girls Only!" on it.
2007-03-13 04:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by Souris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋