I have a man now for almost 5 months and were planning on moving into together, but everytime something goes good in my life my son's father calls me crying and I mean CRYING his eyes telling how much he loves me and misses me and wants to be this family together and his so sorry about the past....We've been together for 3 years off and on...either of our family wants to see us together. He calls last night telling me that hea has a girl and he slept with 7 girls since our last break up about a year or so ago. I've asked like every few months if his sleeping with people he tells me no so I stay loyal to him he is my son's father. He said his not sure if we can work on us cuz he can't stop sleeping with all these girls and kills him to know that i'm crying at night and broken heart. I guess the question is who to I go with my son's father who is my heart and I love to death or my current boyfriend who I love just not as much and I know he won't ever do me wrong like my son's father did?
2007-03-13 03:27:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, Let go of this man. He sounds like my babys father, a gorgeous smooth egotistical womanizer right? Of course your first love and babys father are a hard thing to let go of, trust me I understand, I can barely let go of mine and I should be taking my own advice. But girl, that baby has a great mother and will do wonderfully no matter what you decide. BUT- Do not abandon your own happiness for the sake of your child. You CAN have both. Obviously, if you were that important to him, he wouldnt have such a problem staying loyal to you. You arent right? so why is he? He wont change, and I think you need to not feel a loss or any hurt, you need to focus on the correct emotions at hand......Anger. These actions should anger you; He promised you his life and you carried a child for him----Look how he repays you. Just remember these things. Use this anger to your advantage and tell him to piss off. The new man might not be as great in your eyes, but as long as he treats you and your child the way you need to be treated, he is worth his weight in gold.
2007-03-13 03:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a question you really have to ask yourself, since none of us know how you really feel about both of them. But I do think you should make a decision for the sake of your son because (I'm not sure how old he is) all this could really affect him. I'm not judging, but the way it sounds, it doesn't sound like the son's father is a very responsible one, or that he really wants to get back with you. He's telling you he can't sleep with other girls, but yet he calls crying with broken heart?!?! Sounds more like BS to me and seems like he wants to keep you on a short leash. Give yourself a break, you deserve to be loved, not played with like a toy. Also be fair to the man you are with...if it's going good, then go with it and don't let anyone take happiness away from you. If you are planning to move in with this new guy....obviously he really loves you and vice versa. Goodluck!
2007-03-13 03:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the dudes got problems, no offense i know you love him and everything but if you cant stay loyal, and your saying stuff like i cant help sleeping with these woman, sure u can, i was rolling the other day and i was about to turn a chick down, go with your boyfriend now you gave the other guy too many chances , ya it'll be hard for a few months, breakups always are, you lay there at night thinkin about the other person just crying wishing everything could just go back to the way it was when things were good, but time will heal it, and this other guys seems like a cool dude, and loyal, and trustworthy, so i say you stick with him and see how things work out....
2007-03-13 03:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by Will 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. You need to end all relationships w/men and focus on you and your son. These men are NOT going to be there for you or your son in the long run and you are NOT putting your child's needs ahead of these men. Why do you care so much about adults when you have a child in more desparate need of you and your time? This sounds harsh, but only b/c you know I'm right. Become a stong woman for your child and he won't perpetuate the damage his father is doing on you. Become your own person, not an extension of a man. When you get yourself together, date, but don't give anymore to a man then he deserves. gl.
2007-03-13 03:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by bundle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. I would classify your relationship with your childs father to be just that..insane.Why would you want to be with a man who always puts you second. I wouldnt want to be anyones sloppy seconds. You care for him because you have a baby together, but he will never treat you the way you deserve. If you dont love the boyfriend then dont move in with him and hurt him too. If I were you I would try it on my own and stop depending on others and just stay away from relationships for a while. Your child needs you way more than any man does.
2007-03-13 03:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already have your answer, you are just busy making yourself confused to the max when i dont see any point in you doing so...you should be thinking within the lines of "what do you really need? a father for your son or the love of your life? " always remember that you can not love two men equally, and every man can be a good father, especially if there's a bloodline connection..resolve your differences then accept each other for what it's worth, but be fast! or your son will soon catch up with your turmoil and he would end up bothered and confused as well...with the other man in your life, tell him what you've decided, he will understand, promise..
2007-03-13 04:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by BlueAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about you and your son. Is your ex going to keep causing you heartbreak and stress? If so, it's probably not the best situation to put your family in. You must have strong feelings for your new guy to be thinking about moving in with him. Is he going to give you the commited relationship and respect that you deserve? If it were me, I'd stay with the new man, it seems like there will be more stability in you and your sons life with him. Who's to say when the next time you and your ex will be off.
2007-03-13 03:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by sproutsmomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been thinking similar things myself.
BOTH women I care for are NOT being honest with me or consistant or even stable or sane lately.
I figure from here on in they have to prove themselves to me, otherwise its just no. Better to be alone for awhile at least I think. Maybe I will go on strike here, no sex, no chores maybe. Or maybe time to wander for awhile. Also, let nagging and fussing and cruel talking have negative consequences I think. Just ignore them for awhile at least if they do that.
I would say see who treats you good, if either of them do. Then be nice back. It doesn't have to be perfect all the time. It should be almost perfect MOST of the time though.
YES, life throws all kinds of problems at us. Financial issues, people getting sick, boredom, and who knows what else. Its best to find somebody who can work with you effectively to deal with those things. Cuz we DO run into all sorts of problems in life, sooner or later.
2007-03-13 03:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither one.
Sounds like your son's father is playing you, to keep you attached. And it seems like it's working!!
If you don't love your bf with all your heart, and have no doubts about this person, DON'T move in with them. Why do it?
2007-03-13 03:33:29 · answer #9 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son's father has always cheated on you, then let him go. He is always going to. No matter what you do, what you say, it will not change him. Men like this think that you will always be there no matter what even when they are with someone else.
2007-03-13 03:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by Crazy4him 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋