My boyfriend and I just broke up last week after 4 1/2 years. We are in mutual agreement that our relationship was not working. The only thing is, I would still like to try to work through our problems... and he doesn't. I have made a huge emotional investment in him and I am so heartbroken. I am having such a hard time dealing. To make things even harder.. we live together. It is going to be at least another month before he can move out. During this time, is there any thing I can do to feel better? It is so hard to focus ongetting my life back together when I am still seeing him every day and I know he is just an arms length away. I can't sleep and I don't get hungry, no matter what I do I find myself thinking about him and almost cry. He sees how much I am hurt and he holds me, tells me he is sorry and that I will be OK but this just makes things worse for me. What can I do to feel better?
2007-03-13 03:24:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been there and its the suckiest feeling in the world. It hurts that they just want to give it all up without a fight. In my situation, he came back MANY MANY times and it still wasn't working so here is what I did to ease my pain: I went shopping, I went out with friends 9at first its hard cause you only want to be with him), I got a makeover...hair, nails...all, that helped because I felt better about myself, I excersized, I went on dates and I even went to target and was looking for a self help book...LOL, (I know, I would have done anything in the world not to feel that way...and I HATE reading!) but I bought 2 books... 'its called a break up cause its broken' and 'He's just not that into you' they are fun books, even if you hate reading like I do, they will keep you interested cause you will relate to alot of it. I finished BOTH within a week. He even came back again after that, but I was strong enough to let him go...its a good feeling, to be stronger than your weakness.
I even went to counseling...didnt help tho. I helped myself more.
He may have broke your heart, but DO NOT roll over and die!
2007-03-15 03:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by blah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the old saying "out of sight out of mind", how could you get over him when you still live with him? You need to break away from him 100%! Start doing things that are positive for yourself, go to the gym, go shopping, get yourself a great hairdo. Try not to focus so much on the relationship that OBVIOUSLY did not work, instead focus on the positives in your life and the positives that can be in your life. You only get one shot, don't spend your younger years miserable, you will never get them back. Maybe if you change the way you think, you will meet a great guy who thinks you're just as great!
2007-03-13 03:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by julie j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, I know exactly what you are going through! Everything you have said is what I find is happening to me. When you will cry at any given time, don't feel hungry, can't get sleep at night. I still have to see my ex-boyfriend, I have more of a choice in the matter, but I choose to see him because I think there is some chance he will want to work through our problems. It is just to hard to let go, and believe me, I know how you are feeling right now. I think the only thing that is going to help us back on our feet is time. I know this isn't the best advice, but it is good to get a good night sleep, and I just bought a pack of sleeping pills to help out for a couple of nights. I have e-mailed a couple of my friends to hang out on a couple of nights to help keep my mind off of him. Although its going to be hard to go out because I know you and I both just don't feel like even getting out of bed, its good to go out and boost your self - esteem. These are just a few things I am doing to help ease the terrible feeling I have.
If you do think deep inside though you will be getting back together, my advice is not to start crying around him. Instead try to focus on just having fun with him. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-15 03:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by soccerchick14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to let him know that he isn't to "hold" you any more for comfort, you are going to have to stand on your own two feet and brave it out. You will get stronger with each success. Next, you need to occupy your mind with other things - take your mom to lunch, volunteer at the local animal shelter, hospital, hospice, library. Join a book club - at your local library or book store. Find a hobby (preferrably one with other people), join an athletic club (volleyball is a lot of fun). Look around your apartment and see what items you'd like to re-arrange when he leaves. And whenever you really feel like crying, give into for a few minutes, then go make yourself a hot cup of tea, run a hot bubble bath and grab a book, and go soak and read to take your mind off it. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-13 03:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer. You should spend as little time as possible in the house. Start to focus on yourself. If you want to lose weight start to focus on that. Get your hair done paint your nails. Make it about you for a change. The pain will take time to subside but you have to get HIM out of your system first. If he wont work on the relationship there is absolutely nothing you can do because it takes two to move the ball forward. Good Luck
2007-03-13 03:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously he has to go or you have to go. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He won't do anything to work on it unless the co-habitating familiarity is not there.
2007-03-13 03:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by fnsurf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there has GOT to be a friend he can stay with. he needs to move out if he doesn't want to work on it. that's gonna be the only way for you to get over it... or for him to even miss you and want to work on it.
2007-03-13 03:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋