My 6 year old daughters father has not seen him for a year. He saw her February last year and then did not turn up to her birthday party (he was invited) in March 2006. In December 2006, he then sends me text msgs to say he wants to take my Daughter Xmas shopping. I did not respond to these.
My Daughter has recently been watching a home video with him in it and now She has told me She wants her dad back and that she misses him. I want my little girl to be happy but am afraid he will turn up again and then just let her down like he used to for the past few years. Some advice please.
2007-03-13 03:24:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I went through the same situation with my daughter. It started around when she turned 3, she is now 12. My daughter would sit and wait and stare out the window waiting for her father to come get her and sometimes he would show and others he would not show or even call her. It broke my heart and this went on for years. As she got older and wanted to see him, even though he would not pay child support, I would let her go and visit. Then it would all start again, no phone calls, no b-day cards, nothing. I never bad mouthed him in front of her or said anything negative about him, even though I wanted to shout it from a mountain top! My daughter now being older has come to her own conclusion about her dad and this past xmas I asked her if she wanted to call him and her response was, "for what?" Just be there for her and do not say anything bad about him and if she wants to see him let her have that option. I never kept her away from him for the sole fact that I never wanted her to say to me, you pushed him away and would not let me see him. Kids are smart and as they get older and can understand what is going on they will draw their own conclusion. When my daughter was about 8 I let her write in a notebook any feelings she had about her dad and when she was ready she could share them with me if she wanted. She did and it was good to let her get out her feelings on the situation. Good luck to you, I know how hard it is!
2007-03-13 03:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is heartbreaking..My daughter is now 16, and this started with her around 7 yrs old. Same thing that happened with you.
To avoid all the let downs..what I would do, is to go with your daughter to a neutral place like a playground or park and have dad visit her there. This way you wont be far away. You can take a book or magazine and wait for her. I would do this for awhile, If he is really interested in getting back into her life he should have no problems to this arrangement. Because it is a good transition for the child. you can also eventually include trips to the mall. Maybe meet back in a spot after 2 hrs.Respond to him, the children do deserve answers and you don't want himtelling her later inlife that he tried to make contact with her and mom denied him contact.
You should have a talk with her father and tell him why you want to do this. That you are the one that sees the tears and the heartbreak and how it does effect your daughter. My daughter is still going through problems and is 16. Eventhough she has a great homelife with her family here.
2007-03-13 15:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by Theresa D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter will be 14 at the end of the month. The last time she saw my exhusband {her father} was when she was 3 for about half an hour. She asked questions and I always told her "he lives so far away and will try to come see you sometime" it was a lie I knew it was but it stopped her from asking questions for 10 yrs! She is now 14 and doesnt even ask about him, I did keep photos of him in a photo book and 2 yrs ago when she saw them she asked who it was I told her and her response was "oh". She's got a daddy now in her eyes and mine.
2007-03-13 10:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex husband may not deserve seeing his child, but your daughter deserves having a father. Tell him he has to be there for her, even if its a phone call once in a while, or a letter when she can read.
2007-03-13 10:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by ryushinigami 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is old enough to understand this things whether you think she should have to or not, don't deny her but explain to her about disappointment and make it a rule with the ex that if he disappoints he has to be the one to break the news, that you want break her heart for his stupidity.
2007-03-13 11:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. He doesn't deserve her. But she deserves to know him. I believe she is old enough to form an opinion of her father. Let him try to be a dad. He is the one who has the explaining to do if he lets her down-not you.
2007-03-13 11:06:53 · answer #6 · answered by MamiZorro2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its not your place to decide if he gets to see your daughter. I know its hard but she is asking for him, let her see him, you have no right to keep them apart just because you dont like him anymore. just talk to him and let him know he cant abandon her. and be there for your daughter when he does. when she is older she can make the decision herself to see him or not
2007-03-13 10:44:33 · answer #7 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋