Ok so I don't want to go threw the whole story on how we ended up hooking up the fact is we were a secret for a while and he kept telling me how much he really liked me and he could see us together and all the typical stuff a guys says when he starts to really like a girl. Well the secret got out that we were seeing each other and he distance himself from me stopped calling and we stopped seeing each other. Out of the blue he called and said how much he missed hanging out. which really made me feel good because i really like him and I missed him too so i went to see him. Now we are back to not seeing each other again and he called out of the blue once again (understand why im frustrated) he wanted me to come see him at 1am on a work night because he wanted his cuddle buddy. I didnt go I didnt want to give in easy like I always do b/c Im tired of the games. He was upset that I couldn't come and asked me if we could hang out more again. He told his dad he wants me to go on the fam trip.
2007-03-13 03:24:17 · 13 answers · asked by anonomous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should get rid of him. I know how it feels to be wanted and how good it feels when you are with him and you are "happy." However, you were right to not go over to his place that night. There is a book that you should read and it is called "He's Just Not That In To You" by Greg Behrendt. It seems like it would be goofy and cheesy, but I read it and I agree with the entire book. We, as women, make so many excuses that we feel are legitimate, but they are just excuses. He is using you and you are allowing it. If you do anything for yourself, you should leave him alone. Also, go to the library or store and get that book. You will be amazed by how true it all is!
Good luck dear and do not let him control your life!
2007-03-13 03:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't really an unreadable situation, sorry to say. The fact he distanced himself says it all. If a guy genuinely has feelings (as opposed to desires, the challenge of getting a girl, etc.) he doesn't distance himself -- he works hard to move closer. He'd want to see you more often. He's got a phone and a finger to dial it. The words he used are just guy- words, since his actions don't match up. He's a player, and you know it in your heart.
He wants you to come to see him, as opposed to putting effort into staying in touch and going to see you. Don't you deserve a real relationship with someone who will go out with you publicly on real dates and want to see you more frequently, not someone who just calls or hangs out when he has nothing else to do? Tell him to call you for a real date when he's free, and you'll see if you're free when he calls but that he has to rebuild your trust (which will take awhile) since he disappeared before, with no secrecy this time. You want more than to be someone's secret relationship. If he is genuinely interested, he'll want to work on a relationship with you .
2007-03-13 10:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by Neonzeus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to me.. it seems like you're just the "side" girl. He has to be using you as the rebound girl if he kept you secret for a while, then when he comes out he gets insecure. If he really liked you, wouldn't he want to make it known? This guy sounds like a creep if he thinks he can keep coming back for more. You did the right thing by avoiding his offer to come over on a work night. Make it known that you're "hard to get". If you act that way, you might make him interested to stick around a little bit longer and the longer the time.. the better the relationship will be. Just definitely make sure you keep "rejecting" him. It'll keep him crawling back for more if he's really interested in you.
2007-03-13 10:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Carson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The situation is very readable as it is clear that the guy is not proud of you and would not want to be seen publicly with you.
That is essentially why he has been playing games with you but he likes what you can do for him and to him in the secret and that is why he wants to keep it that way.
It therefore depends on what you want out of the whole thing. Is it the things both of you do in the secret or a longlasting and enduring relationship? If it is the first, continue but if it is the second, flee.
2007-03-13 10:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by comradechris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? About what? You're not very clear with your question and detalis left a lot of holes. Anyway, it sounds like this guy only wants you when he wants you and you've been giving in whenever he does. Now you don't want to give in any more but you don't know what will happen if you do. Is that your question? I think he'll just find someone else to take care of his needs as soon as you leave. So, what do you think you should do?
2007-03-13 10:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like everytime you two get together, you have a little too much fun.
A guy should not be embarrassed of you for any reason.
You split up. Move on. He calls because you are easy for him to get. You are no work. He figures you will do it with him because.
Get away. From a guy's side, you are toast.
2007-03-13 10:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by javarick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but he doesn't want a relationship. He just wants...ya know. He's what is called a player.
2007-03-13 10:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he broke it off just because people found out you were together, he's ashamed of it for some reason. forget about him and find a guy who is WORTHY of YOU. you are special, and don't deserve an a**hole like that.
2007-03-13 10:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by jeffrey m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes you when he wants you.
Figure that out?
2007-03-13 10:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him see you with another guy and you should start ignorong him.
2007-03-13 10:28:30 · answer #10 · answered by MacktheKnife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋