Why am I such a coward???

Question

I have always dreamed of being able to protect someone I love - and now I can do the same thing for this girl I love. However, I have told her my feeling last year but she said she just wanna be friends. I do not know how is her feeling as we are speaking though.. But, there are rumours that she like another boy who is also after her.. But, I never saw him protecting her whenever his friend bullied her.

This morning, a class bully disturbed her but I did not have the gut to warn him. I am afraid of what others' opinions will be. I am afraid of gossips. I am afraid of everything. Then, I saw one boy from another class was like hitting her bag (on her back) up and down and she did not seem bothered but her expression was miserable. I did not have the gut to tell him off, and instead her friend, a girl scolded him. I was afraid that if I walk up to him and tell him off, he would immediately jeered and started gossip

I am ashamed of myself.. So ashamed.. A coward.. I am 15 by the wa

Answer 1

Well you have a lot to learn young friend. I would say something if they gossip then you need to go right to the person saying bad things and confront them most bullies are scared inside just like you. Don't take any ones sh!t . trust me when get older mot of the people you go to school now you may never see them again anyways! Good luck!

Answer 2

How did I know you were 15? This is what 15 is like for most people.
This is a romantic notion, like in the movies. Big brave guy lassoes dragon and girl swoons into his lap. They ride off on a big white horse. Girls like that sort of stuff, too, when they are 15.
In real life, a15- year -old girl is probably more out-spoken, more confident, and more feisty than most boys. Boys usually get their confidence from band, martial arts, sports, and lies about how many girls they have rescued or "had."
Girls get the confidence from boys noticing their "stuff," band, sports, and such.
You do no one a favor by labeling yourself a failure, a loser, a coward. You just hear that nonsense in your head and convince yourself that is why you can't "save" someone. Then when you might get a chance to help someone, you hear that you are a"coward" and then you make it true. Stop doing that.
One day soon, you will care more about helping someone than you do about gossip, jeering, or getting your face smashed in.
Concentrate on being nice to yourself, treat yourself like your best friend. Your best friend would drag you to the gym to work out. Your friend would read so you could have something intelligent to say in a pinch. Your friend would want you to listen to other people, so you don't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
Leave this girl alone. She has made it clear she doesn't want your attention. Be pleasant, help her- if she asks- and live you own life.
You have the guts. Everyone has the guts to do what they MUST do. You are trying to make a situation where there is none, to prove some point that is in YOUR imagination.
Try studying, working out, learning to play the guitar or to run track, and quit trying to be a "hero."
You have a hundred years to rescue someone from a bully.

Answer 3

I wouldn't be ashamed of yourself. The big issue here is that not all people want you to protect them. You dont have to protect them from petty things such as someone hitting a bag. You protect them from getting hurt and more serious issues. If she told you she only wants to be friends, then you have to back off and just be friends. Sorry!

Answer 4

Remember this shameful feeling, and next time you want to do the right thing but think about the gossip and jeers, compare that to the shame and impotence you feel now. You will have a clear choice, and I think it will be easy to make the right one. Self respect is the best shield against jeers and gossip.

Answer 5

I wouldn't say you're a coward. You're just minding your own business. The only person looking like a coward are those people who are poking fun at her. You don't have to show your love by protecting a girl you've fallen in love with. Just being there as a friend is enough to show your careness towards her.

Answer 6

Don't be so hard on yourself - so you didn't stand up for her - so what - she should be standing up for herself anyway.

That sounds hard but you can't always be there to protect her she must learn to do that for herself - just like you must first stand up for your self to get self confidence before you will have enough confidence to stand up for others.

She will also think more of you if you think more of yourself.
So take it one step at a time - first you must work on your self esteem and confidence then show her you believe you are worthy of her love - the rest will fall into place - maybe it won't be her but some girl will see you and find you totally adorable.

Good Luck

Answer 7

don't feel bad honey, you were smart not to get involved in a physical way, that's not to say you can't help her in other ways, such as----- go to the counselor or the principal and report this abuse---- they won't use your name and the bulling will stop, go tell someone before it goes too far, your a good kind kid do the right thing now!!!!!

Answer 8

IF you consider her a friend or not it does not matter as nobody should be picked on. You need to gain the courage and stick up for her because it is the right thing to do.

Answer 9

You admit your fear, you are already braver than most
It can be very difficult to learn to assert yourself
Start in little steps each day.
Challenge yourself to talk to people, volunteer to speak in class, etc.
Also know, in an emergency you will do what is needed without even thinking about it.
Trust yourself

Answer 10

that not being a coward, that use brain,,,,,,you for get she has a brain, an for you to stand up to a boy, just to think she may like you better, is wrong,,,why should you get in to trouble, for some one ,that dont care to be with you,,,,,rember it take a bigger man to walk a way from a fight than it do to fight, too, think if you did , fight him,, she may turn on you,,,