What do you do or say to a mother who gives her 14year old son beer and cigarettes and feels that it's OK?

Answer 1

Absolutely wrong. Smoking is the most harmful thing you can do to your body,probably worse than drinking. I should know. I smoked for nearly 60years and my lungs are completely shot. It is as much as I can do to get up the stairs. I have given up smoking but I should have done it years ago.I try to tell all my (11) grandchildren not to smoke ,using myself as a bad example.The mother concerned cannot have much concern for her son's welfare.

Answer 2

I firstly would ask the mother why she is giving her son cigarettes and beer.
Could it be so she knows what it is he is drinking and smoking and how much of each he is having each day?
I know I'm gonna get told off for this but i to let my then 14 year old daughter to smoke in front of me purely to show her it didn't make her look big and plus it took all the excitement out of smoking and yes she does have the odd glass of wine, vodka and coke once or twice a month, i do this so she knows what she can do and what she can't and also once she's 18 and old enough to go in to pubs she wont go mental like i did and get alcohol poisoning and end up in hospital.

Answer 3

you don't tell us the relationship to the mother are you a partner or a neighbour ?

My son is 13 and has been caught smoking I can't be with him 24 hours a day but he is been told to stop and i've talked with him ,currently he is grounded for smoking so he is out at school and when he's home he's indoors this has been going on and off for a few months everyday i talk with him and try to help him but on no terms am i going to give in and let him.
A few months ago he came in feeling sick ,it all came out he had taken 4 tins of beers from my house and had drank them all he was told off about this and no drink is available for him to lift again in my house.plus the being sick really put him off
These are measures I have taken for my son and I enforce them ,I was upset they happened in the first place and am doing whatever I can to prevent it.
I talk with my son to explain problems from doing it and he listens ,the smoking being my only problem my son is getting better .Oh I was a smoker and his Dad and I give up to show him a good example.

this mother is letting her son do what he wants and can lead to worse problems when she has a need to disipline also he's still growing and immature to deal with drunkiness god even at 37 i can do daft things drunk a 14 yr old is recipe for disaster,as for smoking oh yeah how healthy is that.
If you are a close friend have a word with this woman asap

Answer 4

Well this isn't right at all but you must look at all the possibilities. Why she is doing this? Perhaps her son is bullying her into buying the beer and fags and that she is so afraid of him that's why she gets these things.If her son is so out of control it needs to be nipped in the bud now. Otherwise he's going to be a right heller. Perhaps you could have a chat with the mother about your concerns. As this needs alot of attention.

Answer 5

You really can't say anything because it is her child and she see nothing wrong with it. On the other hand as a citizen who is concerned about the well being of the child and children around that area then you have no choice but to contact local law enforcement agencies, children and family, and any other member of the family who could be a good role model to the child because if what you say is true you would want the child to go to a "fit" family members house. "Keep the family together!"

Answer 6

Has she ever watched the program where parents are actually killing there kids by there actions at such a young age! This must be normal life and the way she was brought up in life as this is just so morally wrong. I take it she does not want a good future for her son.

Answer 7

Being on the other end of that, I would report them to the police. I got alcohol poisining for the first time when I was 14, and I was with my mom and a group of friends. (never had a thing for cigs, thank God! Tried them, but didn't like it) However, I began to love to get drunk, and did it often. I would even drink in school. Anyway, it really messed up some things with my teenage years, deep down I knew it was wrong, and I really felt unloved because my mom was giving it to me. My life took a dramatic tumble downwards!!
If there is anything you can do about it, do it!! They may hate you for it now, but if his life corrects itself, he will thank you for it when he is older.

Answer 8

Make an anonymous call to social services. You'll be doing the boy a favour in the long term. She is not fit to look after a minor properly and should not be left in charge of one!

Answer 9

Ask her why she feels it's ok. If the answer is something like, it's 'safer' for him to do it with me under my supervision than out at a party, then let her know that by her actions she is condoning under age drinking/smoking and setting her son up for addictions and health problems. In addition, it is illegal to serve alcohol to minors. In NY, I occasionally read about parents going to jail because they allowed their kids and their friends to drink at their home. Maybe you wouldn't want to ominously mention that, but she should know that it is illegal and that she could be held responsible if anything happened.

Answer 10

i would never treat my child like this but it is the way my mother choose to treat me but i did soon became feed up with smoking and drinking and i hope i have become a well balanced adult.
i think that its important to remember that most teens will do these things with out help from parents!
i think that you should try and talk to the teen instead of the mother as he/she will problem know what is the right thing to do in the long run the parent is not going to change so keep your eye on the child try to protect him/her from there mother