2007-03-13 02:53:37 · 19 answers · asked by missa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't push him. It could turn out bad. Just wait patiently. If you and he are menat to be, it will happen!!
2007-03-13 03:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear, you met him when you both were 19. Of course he is not ready to get married. Probably he is not yet financially stable and cannot support you, so you should understand. What I would do is don't bring up marriage at this time. You both are still quite young. Another recommendation I have is for you both to kind of cool it for a while, maybe see other people for a few years, and then if the love is still there you will reunite at an age where he will be settled with a good job, you finished with your college education and then you can talk about marriage. Don't rush things! Getting married when you are too young is often a dead end and the marriage does not last. Best of Luck
2007-03-13 11:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also 22 (my boyfriend is 23) and we've also been together for over 4 years. We're getting engaged sometime this year, and I just happened to be lucky enough to find a man who was ready to get married after we graduated from college. But if your guy isn't ready, then there's nothing you can do to change that. Since you've been together for so long, you can talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and just ask him where he wants things to go. Make it clear that you're not pressuring him, but you just need to know where things are heading since you guys have been together so long. If you're ready to get married now, that's okay, but you have to decide if you're willing to stay with him if he says that he's not sure about what he wants or if he says that he knows he won't be ready for marriage within the next few years. Some women aren't willing to spend 8 or 9 years with a man they don't know they'll marry. You have to figure out if you're okay with going through the majority of your twenties with the same man, not sure about the marriage thing. Depending on what he says, you can tell him that you understand that he's not ready yet, but that since you want to be married within the next few years, you don't know if you can stay with someone for that amount of time. But whatever you do, DO NOT give him an ultimatum or pressure him into it. If you do, one of two things will happen -- you'll push him away and he'll be even more closed off to the idea, or he'll propose and you'll never know if he asked you because he wanted to or because you forced him. But you're within your boundaries to just talk to him and see what he's thinking. Good luck.
2007-03-13 11:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you've been dating since you were 18 and at age 22 your boyfriend isn't ready to get married? What 22 year old guy with a girlfriend of 4 years IS ready to get married? If anything, he's wondering what he's been missing for the last couple of years. ESPECIALLY now that he can get into bars! Be careful how hard you push the "M" word. You might get a lot less than you bargained for. Like an ex-boyfriend for example!
2007-03-13 10:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have 2 options, either you can wait until he's ready, or you can move on.
You don't want to force someone to marry you, and if you aren't wanting to wait, then just be honest & tell him.
Good luck!
** And to Andi, 22 is not too young, if you are certain. I have been married for 6 years & have 2 kids with the love of my life, and I had just turned 20 when I married him. If it's right, it's right. Not everyone is ready at 22, but some are ready long before then.
2007-03-13 10:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by paj 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation with my ex. We were together for 3 1/2 years and he was not ready for marriage either. He wasn't ready to settle down b/c he was too young. He wanted to experience life so he did. It hurt badly, but when I realized it wasn't meant to be and it was better that we hadn't gotten married b/c it wouldn't of lasted, I was okay with it.
I am now in a 2 1/2 year relationship and engaged to be married this summer.
2007-03-13 10:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by radawna_23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love him and think he's the one give it some time.
I was 22 when I met my husband - (to be) his job moved him and I wouldn't go to be his roommate so he asked me to marry him.
If he is far from settling down and you are ready today perhaps see if it is in his future with you and if so hang in there.
If he isn't even interested in a china pattern together someday, I'd say you are at two different times -
Tell him/talk about it. Feel him out but don't pressure.
The old saying holds true. If it's meant to be it will be.
2007-03-13 09:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by kelly e 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you were 35 and he wasn't ready to commit after 4 years i'd be worried, but you're 22!!!!
so, what should you do?
one word: relax.
what's the rush!?
that said, i am assuming that you two have talked about what you want "some day". if not, you need to sit down now and make sure that marriage is something both of you want in the future. if not, the time to get out is Now!
2007-03-14 01:07:10 · answer #8 · answered by jennyvee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what he acts like. Many guys don't want to talk about the wedding, they just want you to plan it and be done with it. Many guys want to, but they don't have the money to get a ring, so they don't want to talk about it until they get the money saved up. You need to sit down and see exactly what he wants and if it's not close to what you want, then you need to step back and take a look at the picture. If you don't want the same things in life, then maybe it's best that you are not together.
2007-03-13 10:04:35 · answer #9 · answered by sundragonjess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Twenty-two is rather young these days to get married. What is your rush anyway? If he's telling you now he's not ready, then he's not ready. Don't push it. Do you really want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you? You have time so take that time to develop your relationship. You may find out down the road that you really don't want to get married to him after all.
2007-03-13 10:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your only 22 it's not the end of the world. I would break up with him. I would date as many guys as I could. You have already given him 4 years, go see what else is out there. Believe me Marriage is hard. Once your married your stuck, and it's not easy to get out of it if you change your mind. I say play the field, if your meant to be with him he will come back.
2007-03-13 10:02:49 · answer #11 · answered by green eyed lady 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋