Okay girls, boys, whomever replies... I just recently got engaged... the happiest day of my life so far, right?!?! Well now that my fiance and I are planning the wedding... I am running into a few walls... One, my family (whole family that I consider) consists of only 6 people... Mom, brother, Aunt, cousin and Grandpa - 6 counting me. My fiance's family... Good ole' southern one... too many to count. My father left when I was 3 months, my brother and my Grandpa and Uncle (he passed away) have been the only "father" figures I've ever had. Original plan as a little girl, was to have a "Three men and a little lady" wedding... My bro, gramps and uncle were going to walk me down the aisle and give me away... Grandpa is now pushing 90, and although I think he can hold out for another 6-7 months, I think he will be fine, and bro shouldn't have a problem. So that takes two people out of my family and puts them in the wedding... My Aunt doesn't have a daughter, I am as much hers as I am my moms
2007-03-13 02:51:21 · 11 answers · asked by ShyGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
originally I wanted my Aunt to be my maid of honor. We are very close and its just what I want. My mom sends an email asking... so am I just going to be the Mother of the Bride or the maid of honor... to me that was a hint hint hint... so I really feel obligated to have my mother being my maid of honor, even though I really want my Aunt... now if that is the case, the Aunt will be a brides maid. This leaves my cousin the only one out of the wedding and sitting on the brides side as family... Grr... I don't know how to chose what... I want my aunt and mom to be a huge part, but don't want my mother to resent the fact I chose my Aunt over her. (my aunts been married twice and my mom was maid of honor twice...) Plz help....
2007-03-13 02:54:10 · update #1
My cousin is a guy, and not sure if my fiance is going to have him on his side or not. I will have his two sisters... I guess I am just upset because my mom already resents my aunt sometimes because we are so close. My mom has always been a best friend and a great single mother. I know how important the Mother of the Bride is, (although I think she will do a better job of stressing me out, than not! *sigh*) I just don't want there to be resentment at the wedding, feelings to get hurt, but at the same time, I don't want to give into my mom's every need as an enabler... It's my wedding, I want it how I want it, but I know I am never going to hear the end of it!!!!! Good grief I need a drink just thinking about it!
2007-03-13 03:18:08 · update #2
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. What I have decided to do is have my Aunt be the MOH, my mother will be the mother of the bride as well as giving me away with my brother. Grandpa will walk me to the middle of the aisle, and my brother and mom will continue walking me down to give me away... It was stressful, but now it's over! Yay!
2007-03-15 08:40:29 · update #3
Personally, I have never seen a mother be anything BUT mother of the bride. BUT that's just me. My mom isn't going to be in my wedding as anything else. I mean, you really need your mom to help get the wedding ready on the wedding day so that you can try and relax and just have only getting yourself ready to worry about. Mother of the bride already has a huge responsiblity and also, so does the maid of honor. That is double all of the work to dump onto your mom. PLUS.....the most important fact, is that this is YOUR weddin. Do with it as you please.
2007-03-13 03:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a small wedding of 54 people. 6 of those were mine and the rest were his. Your best bet would be not to do the "groom's side" and "Brides side" except for the parents. Have your ushers seat evenly going from front to back, this way both sides will fill and it wont look lopsided.
As for your MOH, I think it should be your Aunt. The MOB is a big role, she gets seated first, is the first person you kiss afterwards as your recess, etc. Its an honor position. Tell her you want her to get the royal treatment she deserves by being recognized as the Mother of the Bride. But also tell her that you are looking forward to planning your wedding with her. (Planning my wedding was the most special time for me and my mom, I loved every minute of it)
Good luck!
2007-03-13 03:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They way that I see it is that it is your wedding. There is nothing saying that you can't have 2 maid/matron of honor. This is your and your finacee's day. Your family needs to respect that and let you have the wedding you want not the wedding they want. It is a honor to be in the wedding no matter if you are a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor. Planning a wedding is stressful enough just go with what you and your finacee want and. Maybe your mom and your aunt and you can come up with a solution that will make everybody happy. Try to sit down and talk to them. It may be easier than you think. Good luck and enjoy your day. Hopefully this will be the only wedding you have so make sure you are the one happy with it. Good luck and congradulation!!!!
2007-03-13 03:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion... Do what you want in your heart. Typically the maid of honor is a friend of the bride, the mother of the brid is just that... the mother of the bride. Let your mom be her literal role and if she doesn't understand that... well its not you being unreasonable. Be nice and expect her to enjoy the role. If your aunt is truely your best friend, then she should be the mother of the bride... another option is to have 2 mother of the brides and choose one of your friends to be the maid of honor. Some brides have a personal assistant an a maid of honor. You could have the mother do the personal assistant jobs and the mother of the bride jobs, and have your aunt simply be the maid of honor. Don't worry about your family size versus his family size... that is just the way it is. Also, plan to have all the men you want to walk you down the isle, walk you down the isle. If something happens to your grampa in the meantime, then somethings happens to your grandpa in the meantime. DOn't worry about it, just do what feels right. He can always wheel you down the isle, and he would probably love doing that.
2007-03-13 03:10:14 · answer #4 · answered by charisma 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
um what not have your mom walk you down the isle also??? i have see it that a girl had 6 people walk her down 3 sets of two an they walked her 1/3 the way an all 6 gave her away but i say your mom has an important part let her be who she is the mother of the bride could your brother be a best man for you an your aunt a maid of honnor an your fiance have his own maid of honnor an best man an they dress the same??????? and only have your grandpa an uncle walk you down the isle?? just some food for thought an have your cousin as an attendent
2007-03-13 03:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why can't your cousin be a bridesmaid also? You can determine what you want. It's YOUR wedding. Also, you could have your Mom walk you halfway down the aisle and then walk the remaining way with another family member (or vice versa). Then your aunt could be your Matron of Honor. Your Mom would still have an important place in your wedding.
2007-03-13 03:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have who you want. you mom will be a part of it since she is the mother of the bride. have your aunt be the maid of honor if you want. its your day and its up to you to decide who you want standing next to you. dont let people force you into having anything different than what you want. or if you think either one would be hurt by not getting to stand next to you, have both, but traditionally the mother of the bride is not the maid of honor.
2007-03-13 02:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are in a tough situation here. I would go with what you really wanted to do. The goal is to only be married once and hopefully you will never get to have another wedding so do with what you want because you only get married once!!! I would explain to your mother that you just want her to be your mother that day without any stress to you or her and that you need her to be ther for moral support. Make her feel needed is what I would do.
Congrats and hope this helps.
2007-03-13 05:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lizzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Planning a wedding is often stressful if for no other reason than for what your is. However, it is YOUR and your fiance's wedding. Choose who YOU want to be in the wedding and in which positions. Best of luck to you and Congratulations!
2007-03-13 03:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One would be the Matron of honor and the other will the Maid of honor. Problem solved..
2007-03-13 02:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋