Should I tell her............or should I not??

Question

Hi all, I am a closet crossdresser/transvestite and basiclaly I am trying to find out if the majority of women find it ok or disgusting??

im toying with the idea of telling my partner as im fed up with hiding it, but you can just never tell how they are going to react!!

I dont cheat on her or anything like that, just love to crossdress

Answer 1

If she is quite an educated, open minded sort of woman who really loves you then I think she might be a bit shocked but will understand.

Explain to her that it is part of you - like whether you like toast or not and it doesnt mean that you want to be with a man or are going to cheat on her.

Good luck

Answer 2

There are many sides to this. Best approach might be to bring up the subject of crossdressing in conversation. Nothing heavy, just talk. See how she reacts. If she seems positive, ask her what if you were a CD, then from that point you will know which way to go. Some women are open to the idea, but others are not.

If she is dead set against it, then let it drop.

Take slow and easy.

Answer 3

You need to tell her sooner rather than later. But be smart. Before you talk, make sure that you are ready to answer her questions - esp. questions regarding your sexuality and faithfulness. First thoughts are often - he's gay, or he's going to go out there and fool around. Also, have some good info. available for her to read - there are a lot of good materials out there about straight crossdressers. If you don't point her in the right direction, she'll go straight to the internet - and there is a lot of stuff that will scare the hell out of her - "she-male" sites, for instance, as well as sites dealing w/transitioning - scary stuff for a woman serious about her man. Finally, pick a good time to tell her - during the day, in a calm and pleasant conversation. Try not to be too sensitive - she may laugh out of nervousness and shock - or too zealous - its not her fault that you've held this in for so long.

What do most women think? Who cares, really, because you're only worried about one woman's reaction. But do it as sensitively (w/as much reassurance) as possible. Your feelings aren't going away so do it now.

Answer 4

O how long r ye together?? That is a tough one. Well the fact that u dnt cheat is good. R u fully straight and just enjoy wearing the clothes? This may lead her to doubt ur sexuality.

Wat exactly do u wear when cross dressing?

Its a tough one u never no how someone wil react. Is she understanding, and a good listener???-she wont just go mad the min u say it?

Honestly, if my boyfriend told me that im not sure how id react! Im usually calm and rarely fly off the handle so i wud listen to him. But being completely honest, we r only together 6mnths so probably wud start doubting the relationship. After a while prob end it. i no one thing for sure wud never like to see it! We women like a proper man, this mite make her doubt ur masculinity and sexuality. But it all depends on the strenght of ur relationship, if ye r in love...
I dnt believe anyone should have to find their true selves but consideration is needed for this.

Answer 5

I am a crossdresser. Hopefully you are very early on in the realtionship. If not she may feel like she has been decieved and or lied to. So you need to be prepared to deal with that aspect of it. She may object to that even if she is ok with the crossdressing. I have learned my lesson and tell women on the second or third date at the latest. Be gentle and best of luck.

Answer 6

You have to tell her to get a reaction from her! Better to tell her face to face rather than her surprising you one day by walking in on you all dressed up! No matter how careful we are, our secrets come out in the end. This is a very innocent wish you have. Tell her but not whilst all dressed up as a woman as a visual shock can sometimes override what is being said. if she loves you, she will totally understand. be aware though, she may condone it but may not want to see it, which is an issue in itself. Be brave honey because love is about overcoming all sorts of obstacles! If she freaks out and says she does not understand then maybe you need to look at your relationship again. Hey, if it is good enough for people like Eddie Izzard right!? x

Answer 7

I believe being open and honest is the best policy. The bottom line is, if she truly loves you, she'll be ok with it. She may not like it much, but she'll tolerate it as long is it down't get out of control, like wanting to go out with you while dressed that way.
For what it's worth, I'm a married man, totally straight, and enjoy wearing pantyhose. My wife knows, and is ok with it. She actually got me started wearing them by daring me to put a pair on about 10 years ago, so I did. Ever since then, I've worn them fromn time to time. I find them very comfortable and I think they look good too! I don't wear in public except under pants/jeans.

Doesn't everyone have something exciting they like to do? It's just that most people would never admit it in fear of ridicule. So consider yourself lucky for admitting this to yourself, and your 'mate'!
It just may add extra excitement in the bedroom too! I know pantyhose do for my wife and I!

Answer 8

From what I've seen here, crossdressing is a serious part of some guys' lives. If it is for you, you should tell her before you get too serious. I'd want to know if my new bf was a serious gambler or bowler or tv watcher or sports fan -- anything that's going to take up his time and/or money, so I can decide if this is something I want to (or can) compete with.

Answer 9

You must just go for it and tell her as this is a part of you - perhaps just a small part but she should know about it nonetheless as you can't go on hiding it for ever.

I can tell you that she will probably be shocked and yes, maybe completely turned off by it - at first. You need to give her time to accept it and realise that your sexual preference really does not reflect badly on her. You need to make sure that she understands that you find her the biggest turn-on of all. I think, so long as she feels secure with you, she will accept it. It is all to do with how you approach the subject. Good luck!

Answer 10

she will respect you more for coming clean than finding out eventually by mistake or from someone else. You should definately sit and talk it through. Its not disgusting, nowadays its a sign of the times and is accepted within society. Your partner may not react the way you expect or want them to but eventually they will either accept it or decide to part. Its a tough one but at least you will being honest. Good Luck.