i'm 28 and i dont wanna get married cause i'm terrified of commitment how do i overcome it?
2007-03-13 00:39:54 · 7 answers · asked by taffiongy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First, take a deep breath and think to yourself why you love this person. What draws you to them? What strengths do they bring to your relationship?
Now ask yourself what makes you afraid of commitment? Is it fear of losing your own identity? Is it fear of being with the same person "til death do you part"? Is it fear that there may be something better?
If it is fear of losing your identity remember that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Your significant other loves you for who you are or they wouldnt want to marry you. Therefor it is resonable to believe that they will want you to keep your own identity as well. If it is fear of being with the same person "til death do you part", remember that this person has brought a newness to your life. If absolute worse comes to worst you will have divorce as an option, however all relationships require alot of work and marriage is no exception, so be prepared and dont walk into it with "your eyes closed". If you fear that there may be something better out there that you may be missing... reflect on the first step of this whole thing.... why do you love them? what are their strengths? what draws you to them?
Keep in mind also that this could be physiological, when the body feels under pressure (regardless of real or only interpreted) it goes into fight or flight. That is why the term "cold feet" became so well known... the majority of couples (and yes BOTH sexes) have had "cold feet" or "nervous jitters". It may not be that you are truly afraid to get married... you may just be nervous, have doubts, and havent been able to resolve that. Some people cant resolve it until they have been through it and find out that everything is still ok, they are still a single entity... they didnt lose themself in the deal... they are just a part of a larger picture now. You will be ok. Fear is natural, just dont let it rule your life and know that no matter what happens you will live through it and will gain a better knowledge of yourself.
Also, it could be that committment isnt the trouble, It could be that youre feeling too pressured by a the "wedding" and should plan to elope or have some other very intimate ceremony instead.
I suggest talking to your fiance', chances are they have fears as well and maybe sharing your fears will help allieviate them for you both.
2007-03-13 01:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened in your past to make you so afraid? Usually from what I've experienced is that either your parents are divorced or you've just been burned too many times by someone. You can't live your life always worrying about that cause the right person might pass you by while you are sitting there scared to commit. That almost happened to my boyfriend. It took some time and it was very frustrating for me to deal with him being so slow in our relationship. I know our relationship is probably going to be stronger cause we have a more solid foundation, but it was tough getting through the beginning of our relationship cause he was just like you. He's finally come around though. We've been seeing each other for 14 months now steadily and he just asked me and my 6 year old son to move in with him. Just take it slow, but not too slow and hopefully you'll find someone understanding like me and that will be the girl for you!
2007-03-13 17:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you afraid of? Don't say commitment, because we're ALL commited to something. So what's the problem? You think somebody better might come along? If she does, will you be afraid of commiting to her too? Better be careful my friend! The older you get, the better you were! And you might regret being such a weenie if you really have found an incredibe woman willing to marry you!
2007-03-13 09:26:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your afraid of something normally people say face your fears or explore the whys, but, those are not always the answers you want to hear. Although to explore ones own self is not a bad thing.
With that said, I do not think you have found the one person that you are willing to share your everything with. To have a commitment and family. When you do you will know it.
Do not get me wrong there may always be those little jitter, but, fear will not be a factor.
2007-03-13 07:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Nana 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Strange thing happens when you find the person you were meant to be with; you aren't afraid anymore. That is the one person you connect with, a real connection, not just sexual, but a connection. You don't want to be apart, you constantly think of them, and can't stand to be away from them. The fear goes away as you learn to trust someone else. It will happen when you least expect it to, so enjoy your life, be open to new things, and it will happen.
2007-03-13 08:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are with the woman that you are really in love with, or ever are, every time you want to run just picture another man holding,kissing, making love to her. You should be able to stay then. if you still don't want to stay then it's the wrong girl.
2007-03-13 13:14:38 · answer #6 · answered by laceywat1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start by searching why u r terrified of it
2007-03-13 07:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by abd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋