I feel like I am the most screwed up person in the world. I do not know what I have?

Question

I see a shrink every couple of weeks and he tells me the truth, I am selfish. I told me I am on disability and he said it is because you are bloody disabled. He tells it like it is. He put me on rivitril taking 2 per night to make me drousy to help me sleep. I love the drowsy feeling. I am the black sheep of the world. I am ok one minute and get angry at my mother the next and other people. I am very bored with my life and I have anobsession with cancer so I can get out of this life and go home to Heaven. I have though about suicide before but I do not want to end up in the pit, so that is not an option. I sometimes get up late as I am tired. My shrink will probaly try me on other medication, but I want a drowsy feeling so I will not be tempted to abuse people who start on me, and I usually make sure I finish it and have the last say. Is anyone on here similar? What do you think I have. My mother tells me I am selfish. Have I a borderline personality disorder? What does this sound like

to you. I need a brain transplant.

Answer 1

Leanne is a troll with a different fake medical complaint for every day of the week.

Hey nut case, do you remember sending these to wannabehippy? She posted them here:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AncRMID4SCSTUy4XwQ3RLVQAAAAA?qid=20070309214306AAgwXf5

Hello wannabahippy (wannabahippy),
From: Leanne M
Subject: cancer

Message: By the way I do have bowel cancer. You are a rotten little wretch. You are definatly hell bound. Hell awaits people like you. You do not know me, than goodness, otherwise I would be tempted to knock you right out. You are pathetic, the way you Judge me. What the hell have you got against me. Shut your mouth, because one day I would not be suprised if somebody knocked you right out. Go take your sarcastic approach somewhere else, because to be honest nobody wants to here it. You little gutter snipe.
.................................
Hello wannabahippy (wannabahippy),
From: Leanne M
Subject: Comment
Message: You are sick. You are a very evil person.You are disgusting and satan has sure got you.You have a father and he is called satan and the way you are going you will be joining him in hell. You are pathetic.Why don't you go kill yourself? And by the way stupid, my kids have nothing to do with you, as they are none of your business. Just worry about your own pathetic life. You really are satans daughter. I dare you to say all what you said to my face? I tell you now woman, you would not even want to try, as you would not be doing it again, trust me on that one. I do not take **** from anyone, and I ain't certainly going to take it from a stupid individual like you. Get a life you whoremunger.

****People, don't pay any attention to this person. She's an attention-seeking liar, she sends hate mail. Go to her profile and check out her posts, she's a total nut.*****

Answer 2

Mental Depression is a side effect of Rivotril. Talk to your psychiatrist about that and see if there is another method of treating your disorder that may not carry that side effect. Rivotril is not a sleeping aide drug. It is a mood stabilizer used in the treatment of Bipolar Disorder. If you are having sleeping problems, there are other less addictive and have less side effects of depression. They may not give you that "drowsy" feeling, however that would be a good thing, because you could become addicted to that "feeling."

Besides the depression and medication side effects, I would just say that you are like many other people. You want the last word and you have mood rollercoasters. Maybe you do have Bipolar tendencies and that is why you are on Rivotril???? If that is the case, your psychiatrist should know that the medication is not working well and he should make adjustments bassed on how that is.

Answer 3

Leanne, your shrink is correct. You are selfish, self centered and self seeking. All the hallmarks of an addict. and a spoiled brat. You keep posting new and worse diseases and the voila are cured.
You do the name of the Lord a disfavor when you post as having been healed by Him when in fact you didn't have the illness in the first place.
That is what charlatans do, fakes.
Leann, you are an addict and a liar, and a cheat, and a mean spirited person.
I ask you to repent of this for the Love of Jesus and get the help you really need, in a hospital.

Answer 4

I think you need to go off your drugs and for once try to deal with your life realistically! Why does everyone think a shrink and meds is the only way to go when they have a problem? Grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Take a look around the world and you will find there are people who have it much worse than you do. Visit a children's hospital or burn center. Go to the nursing homes and see how many of these people have absolutley no one who ever visits them after you do then get back on and whine about U.

Answer 5

I've been on EVERY med.you could name,i thought,rivitril is new to me-are you being treated for phsytzophrania? or?I have generalized anxiety disorder,on remerone(anti-depressantHelp's me.30mg.a nite, They thought I was Bi-polar for 9yrs.!!!I was such a genniepig!!& in a stuper,most the time!I've commited suicide(reaction to all the med's they were pumping me w/)thank God,did'nt suceed.It sound's like you mainly have an anger problem&depression,has your "shrink"ever considered that? Are you getting any REAL counseling from this person??Maybe,seek a different DR. if your not getting real result's.You should probably get into anger-managment class too.good luck!By the way,remerone make's me tired too,take it at bedtime.Just read all your answer's,What kind of person are you?guess your not sincere here,so disregard my advise& try changing what's inside you,does'nt sound good!I'm a TRUE christian,try prayer,but pray truthfully or HE won't hear you.Maybe,you are selfish?? think of other's & not yourself so much.

Answer 6

Sounds like the chemistry in your brain is shot

My understanding is that you are unlikly to make it to Heaven unless you have accepted Jesus as your saviour. Then join a church & help others who are less fortunate than you.

Cut out drugs & eat good food , lots of fruit & vegatables, then:

Brain chemistry fix:
Vit C 1000mg 2X a day
Lecithin granules heaped table spoon a day
Sunflower seeds heaped table spoon a day
Ground flax seeds heaped desert spoon a day
Epsom Salts 50mg a day
2 extra glasses of water a day
3X a week get your heart rate up >110 (but <140)& keep it up for >30 min

Answer 7

Having a problem dose not excuse you pathetic behavior on here... Apologize to us all by name, with copies of the hatefull emails you send us to show that you are truly sorry and we may leave you alone!
Leanne this will not stop, until you do !
You will not win or have the last word as you said in your other post!
You need to be the one to end it! You started it all. You need to do it publicly so that everyone realizes you are trying... People with the types of mental problems you describe usually feel utter remorse for what they have done....y7ou show none! So don't try using that excuse to get away with what you have done!

Answer 8

Hey Leanne you forgot to tell us your age. It sounds to me like you are almost addicted to the drugs you are on. If you get up in the morning and considered the good things you have going for you maybe you would reconsider how you treat other people. Feeling sorry for yourself and then taking it out on others is no way to go. Try visiting a hospital and seeing some really sick, physically sick people. This isn't you so consider yourself lucky. Now about that Heaven thing, you don't get to go in unless you are a good person. So being as you treat others like your mom badly then how do you justify your acceptance into Heaven? Try treating others as you would want to be treated and see if that changes anything. Medication can sometimes make us who we are not so see if you can weed yourself off of it not all at once but over time then the real Leanne can resurface. Personally I hate taking any medicine because it interferes in what God made me to be. I you thought of yourself as that perfect little angel that your mother brought into this life so many years ago then try to refind her, she was you in a none threatened way. The way you were intended to be before the world started to fill your mind with the apparent wave of distrust and self incrimination that has resulted in the now you. Trying to refind yourself in that simpler state, when all was good, is what you need to do. You are not going to get cancer anymore than the next guy or girl so why worry about it. It could be that your worrying about all these things that is the thing that is going to get or give you cancer so let it go and return to the state of simplicity. You, your body, nature and a feeling of well being. To wake up in the morning with the idea, hey it is another fine day that God has given to me to live and enjoy. Thankyou Lord for this day, this moment in time, the friends that I have and the friends that I am going to make today. I thankyou for the ability to breathe, to eat, to walk without pain, to see, to hear to smell the fragrances of life. I am Leanne and I make a differnce in this world and someone out there today is going to benefit because of what I can do for them, why because God wants me here, right now, today to make a difference. God loves you and He wants you to love others as He loves you. Someone else needs you too Leanne, it is the little child within you that God first put onto this earth, that was untainted by the environment that you now are in, so look within yourself to find that little girl who once woke up each day and wanted to know so much about life, love and what the world has to offer. This computer, this site and this day are open to you to find out about life and live it more abundantly, so have a great day and remember that little girl from within, she and you are the same. Go back to her and give her your hand, she will lead you into tomorrow through a better today.

Answer 9

For a change, why not do something to help others? Contact Amnesty International, about writing letters in support of prisoners of conscience, who some governments think they can get away with locking up and even torturing, and many people have been released as a result of those letters. It would also boost your self esteem, and your mother would appreciate it, You must EARN a place in heaven, and volunteer work for worthwhile causes and charities is one way.

Answer 10

The first thing you need to do and I already told you this, is love yourself. If you can't do that, then you will having nothing and you will NOT be happy. Why, just because you are feeling this way, do you have to be diagnosed. I'll just say that you seem to not be happy w/ YOU. YOU need to love the person you are. You need to love the thoughts you have even if they are hurting you right now. Let go of your past. You seem to be living in it and not the present. Do me a favor.... For today I want you to let go of the pain inside yourself. Tell yourself it is ok to feel this way and accept the way you feel. Tell yourself right now that you love yourself, even if you do NOT. You need to think about the good things in life, like maybe your job, a friend that makes you feel special, your spouse, your children, the roof over your head, the soul inside that just wants to be loved. First, you need to love that soul, mind and body before anyone else can. Treat yourself good today.... When you have a negative thought immediatley follow w/ it's ok or I love myself. So many people these days fell they need to be diagnosed to start working on the problems they are having. You be the one to diagnose yourself.. Personally I would diagnose that you are a person who is in a lot of pain deep inside and therfore you are lashing out on others because of this pain. Please!!!! Just for today.. believe that you are a wonderful person and that you deserve to be happy today. You can do this.. Everything will be ok. Just believe that it will!!