Is it wrong?

Question

I'm 26. I'm a single mother of a 17 month old daughter. I work graveyard shift so that I don't have to put my daughter in daycare. I force myself to function on very little sleep so that my time with my daughter is quality time. I make sure that my daughter has everything that she wants and needs before I spend any money on myself.
Is it wrong for me to want to go out on a Saturday night every once in a while? Is it wrong for me to want a man in my life?

Answer 1

Of course it isn't wrong to want your life to be about more than your child. When you became a mother, you didn't sign all rights to your own life away. From what you describe, you are a solid provider for your child's needs. It is perfectly fine to provide for some of your own as well as long as the baby isn't neglected during those periods.

Answer 2

I could have written this letter. I'm a single parent and I went through the same thing. I functioned on little sleep so I could spend as much time as possible with my daughter. I also kept my house spotless, did without for myself all because I felt that if I didn't I would be a bad mom. Eventually I became so stressed that I developed a severe case of insomnia and constant headaches. My doctor told me not to stress over the small stuff (it's ok to leave a dish or two in the sink) and to make time for myself at least once a month. You are a Mom not a machine. You need to take a little time for you. Being sick and stressed is not conducive to good parenting and the time spent with your daughter will become just time, not quality time. Eventually I began putting my daughter in a daycare until noon (your daughter is at a good age to start socializing with other children). I could get a few hours sleep then spend time with her. Going out once a month or so will be good for you. As for dating, whenever you feel you are ready. I didn't start dating until much later. I felt it was hard to balance the needs of the child and a new relationship. You may be able to. Good luck.

Answer 3

God there are some ignorant answerers on here today!!
NoNoNo, it is certainly not wrong to want a break every now and again, and the basic need for a partner is fundamental to everyone!
You work hard, take care of your daughter, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel to make all the mundane stuff seem ok.
Do you have family that could help out once in a while? Or a friend who would babysit for an evening?
Perhaps suggest to your friends a babysitting circle, that way you all manage a night out once in a while and it doesn't make the cost of the evening too expensive.
Good Luck.

Answer 4

God knew what He was doing when He created man and woman. There is no better way to raise a child than for it to have a mama and a daddy. So, no, it's not wrong for you to want a man in your life. But please explore other possibilities as far as working night shift. That lack of sleep is going to catch up with you. I'm surprised you have enough energy to want to go out on a Saturday night.

Answer 5

Why the hell are you punishing yourself for being a mom? I work two jobs but I only gross 30 hrs. a week. I work at a childrens clothing store (fer the discount, baby!) and wait tables at night. Daisy's dad sees her at night, I get the days. Daycare issues may be more painfull for you than for her...I hated her tears in the beginning but I can barely get a kiss these days. She's off socializing before i've unshouldered the diaperbag. Kids need to hang with their own kind too! I used to worry but I love our provider so much, I even get my nails done again! Baby steps though...Just try it.

Answer 6

Of course it isn't wrong to want to go out on a Saturday night or have a man in your life.. What would be wrong with that? nothing. you take responsibility for your child.
I don't see anything wrong with it. at all. go out, get some time to yourself. break free once in awhile. find someone to take care of you instead of you taking care of the baby all the time. be good to you. do things that make you happy and then your doing things that is also good for the baby.
Nothing wrong with it at all.

Answer 7

Of course not!! Even a single mom needs a break form the norm and companionship. By all means, get yourself a babysitter once a month and go out and hit the town!! I have 2 teenagers, a pre-schooler, and a toddler. You can bet I get myself out once in a while!! Good luck and go out and give yourself that needed break!

Answer 8

NO!!! In fact, it's a healthy thing for her. She learns how to have relationships from you. She needs you to have healthy, happy people around you in order to be healthy and happy herself. One "rule" of parenting is "what ever you do, your children will do." You smoke, they smoke; you yell and scream to get your way, she yells and screams to get her way. You surround yourself with great, healthy people, she does the same. Etc., etc.
Your dedication is admirable. But you MUST get enough sleep. Your health will decline and you will become very irritable the less sleep you get. That's an example for your little one, too. I have read a few books on brain longevity, and they all say sleep is the #1 most important element to maintain functioning.

Answer 9

Of course not! i have a 9yr old lil girl and i go out lots of weekends! as far as the man, remember why your a single mom! just remember shes always got 2 b ur number 1!

Answer 10

You could've taken the easy way out and you didn't. You are acting like a parent. Take the time for yourself now and again to keep your sanity.